Ok so....WTF?

[Sturmgrenadier]

Before I begin - I'd first like to say that I am genuinely confused and unsure of what to do.

I'd really like to hear some different opinions before I decide, so thank you bros/sis in advance.

Background

So we've been married for a little over 8 years and have 2 kids. My wife has largely retained her pre-birth figure and is still attractive.

Frankly our sex life was great before marriage and nose dived after the kids arrived. She didn't want to try anything different, didn't like foreplay and just wanted sex to be over in like 5 mins or less it seems.

In addition, due to her being on contraceptives at that point (at least thats what she said) - she didn't get wet easily and it often hurt for her after sex as well.

Honestly I often wondered if she didn't find me attractive anymore, my confidence took a hit and gradually we just stopped having sex for like months at a time.


The Present

So recently, lets just say that she has completely freaked me out a little. She actually initiates sex, tells me that she is horny and has even suggested that we fuck outdoors (which we have a few times).

Don't get me wrong man - I'm enjoying this BUT she really stunned me the other night while we were having sex and this is where I'd really like to hear some views from everyone about.

We'd just fucked and I'd came all over her ass, wiped her off and I was laying down catching my breath. Normally? That would be it and we'd wash up....but that night, she snuggled up to me and asked me what my fantasies were.

Giving her the politically right answer, I said "Sweety I don't need to fantasize when I have you".

So she asked me "Have you ever had a threesome" to which I answered "No" (thats a lie lol - I've had a few paid experiences of that nature before).

Then this was what really shocked me "She asked if I'd like to be in a threesome with her."

Thinking she was joking, I laughed it off but she didn't stop there.

She actually specified that she wouldn't want it to be a local girl, that I had to wear a condom while I fucked the other girl, that I couldn't french kiss the other girl and that I've have to finish off by fucking and cumming in my wife and not the other girl.

I was genuinely stunned.

She had clearly given this some serious thought and knew what her boundaries are.

I didn't know how to react and just laughed it off nervously and dashed off to wash up. My head was racing - is she joking? Is that some kind of test to see how I would react? Or was she really acting out one of HER own fantasies?

What do you think?

[coconutboy]

I think u better ask her if she wants mmf

[Sturmgrenadier]

Originally Posted by coconutboy

I think u better ask her if she wants mmf

Didn't bother asking as that isn't something that I would do with her

[guess67]

Originally Posted by coconutboy

I think u better ask her if she wants mmf

Ya maybe she is thinking of mmf

[ExBro]

Originally Posted by guess67

Ya maybe she is thinking of mmf

Even sis thinks so..

[whatdoido]

Sounds like a trap to me

[Doldrums]

Originally Posted by whatdoido

Sounds like a trap to me

Agree! For all you know... she could be in this forum... or she could be checking on your browsing history, smses and chats. Hows that for paranoia?

But then again, i would just play along, and not get too excited about it, just don't initiate anything and let her do the arrangements. If it comes thru, all good no?

Better start covering your tracks and cleaning up your history.

[SEAJeCockSucker]

Better you go suck cock la knn.

Originally Posted by SEAJ

Presuming that this thread is genuine/the situation is real and not just another Ha-Ha comic send-off or ?? Come to think of it, why post in this section instead of the Matters of the Heart one? Hmmm…. never mind…. giving you the benefit of the doubt.

First I think that Communication – which is vital in any relationships, especially marriage is missing from yours. I suggest you must start REALLY talking with her instead of asking a bunch of strangers on a sex forum. Mongering, Samsters are good at, personal relationship? Not so sure! Mongering is just money, pay/no pay, worth it/not worth it etc., whilst personal relationships are way more than just that.

You are discussing YOUR FAMILY with 2 children, and IMHO, there’s a lot you and your wife needs to communicate properly about – and not just about sex which pales in comparative importance. Giving “Politically Correct” replies to your wife? ForCrissakes! You’ve been married 8 years and have a family! And you communicate with each other “politically correct?!”

Second, women in their early to mid-thirties are at the peak of their sexual needs and prowess. So not so surprising especially since apparently your kids are now grown enough where they don’t need her constant care; she probably now got time to revert back to her “old ways” as you had described your early days.

Third, she probably came to the realization that you ARE a great husband and father and thus now trying to make it up. But both you and her must realize that sex is NOT the be-all that will solve all your problems; it’s just the icing on the cake.

Fourth, good luck to you both!
I think you two need it, given what you’ve portrayed
SEAJ

[Sturmgrenadier]

Originally Posted by SEAJ

Presuming that this thread is genuine/the situation is real and not just another Ha-Ha comic send-off or ?? Come to think of it, why post in this section instead of the Matters of the Heart one? Hmmm…. never mind…. giving you the benefit of the doubt. First I think that Communication – which is vital in any relationships, especially marriage is missing from yours. I suggest you must start REALLY talking with her instead of asking a bunch of strangers on a sex forum. Mongering, Samsters are good at, personal relationship? Not so sure! Mongering is just money, pay/no pay, worth it/not worth it etc., whilst personal relationships are way more than just that. You are discussing YOUR FAMILY with 2 children, and IMHO, there’s a lot you and your wife needs to communicate properly about – and not just about sex which pales in comparative importance. Giving “Politically Correct” replies to your wife? ForCrissakes! You’ve been married 8 years and have a family! And you communicate with each other “politically correct?!” Second, women in their early to mid-thirties are at the peak of their sexual needs and prowess. So not so surprising especially since apparently your kids are now grown enough where they don’t need her constant care; she probably now got time to revert back to her “old ways” as you had described your early days. Third, she probably came to the realization that you ARE a great husband and father and thus now trying to make it up. But both you and her must realize that sex is NOT the be-all that will solve all your problems; it’s just the icing on the cake. Fourth, good luck to you both! I think you two need it, given what you’ve portrayed SEAJ

Don't disagree with what you have said but do give us credit for being able to sift through the bullshit and to take what is said here with a pinch of salt as well.

That said, a couple of bros have shared personal views via PM which does give me a different perspective, much like your reply.

Family is of course the top priority but affairs of the heart are never black and white. Sometimes, circumstances are beyond our control as well and all we can do is try.

You are right however that communication is important - but this is completely virgin territory and frankly I have no idea what to think at this point....but once again, that doesn't necessarily mean that I will take any or all advice here. Just trying my luck to see if anyone else has had similar experiences that's all.

In addition, I believe that absolute 100% openness with one's spouse is the IDEAL but REALITY isn't always that cut and dried. Kinda like the "Do I look fat in this?" question for example.

As a caveat, if you do have 100% openness with your GF/Spouse type relationship? Then I salute you sir and perhaps you are one of the lucky ones who has managed to find your soul mate. Call me cynical but it'll probably be easier to find pink fluffy bunnies that shit pure gold nuggets

[Sturmgrenadier]

Originally Posted by Doldrums

Agree! For all you know... she could be in this forum... or she could be checking on your browsing history, smses and chats. Hows that for paranoia? But then again, i would just play along, and not get too excited about it, just don't initiate anything and let her do the arrangements. If it comes thru, all good no? Better start covering your tracks and cleaning up your history.

Honestly bro? I don't have much, if at all to cover up these days.

Pre-Marriage/Kids I was a party animal. Post marriage/kids I'm pretty much work, gym and family - with perhaps a boys trip once a year and birthday gatherings with my RL bros for drinks and perhaps an occasional round of golf - that's it.

SBF for me is through Forum Runner app - so there's no history to talk about as it's automatically wiped upon closing.

The occasional porn surfing, which I haven't needed as of late (thank goodness lol) is through another password protected app called iSafe Pro - which again is wiped upon closing.

I don't fool around outside or chat with XMM via chat apps as well.

That said this paranoia is a good habit and may save some bros a lot of troubles lol. Thanks though!

[FishPartner]

Originally Posted by Sturmgrenadier

Didn't bother asking as that isn't something that I would do with her

Maybe I can talk to her about this issue.

[FishPartner]

Originally Posted by SEAJ

True enough!
My wife and I ran across this problem very early on in our marriage and have I think at least come to an acceptable compromise if not actually solved it.

We both come to the realization that we each need our own "space" - whether it's our jobs, our different friends, EVEN and especially what we are up to IN OUR OWN TIME. So when it comes to things like this, we basically do NOT ask and for sure do not demand answers. Not all answers are what you'd like to hear anyway, so why bother to even ask? What's important is US, our family and how we can work together to build it up.

SEAJ

You are MARRIED?

[atmos]

ts. check ur pm

[JPimp]

what is an mmf?

[Sturmgrenadier]

Originally Posted by SEAJ

True enough! My wife and I ran across this problem very early on in our marriage and have I think at least come to an acceptable compromise if not actually solved it. We both come to the realization that we each need our own "space" - whether it's our jobs, our different friends, EVEN and especially what we are up to IN OUR OWN TIME. So when it comes to things like this, we basically do NOT ask and for sure do not demand answers. Not all answers are what you'd like to hear anyway, so why bother to even ask? What's important is US, our family and how we can work together to build it up. SEAJ

That though is somewhat like the unspoken compromise that we've come to as well, funny enough.

I get to do boys night every so often and a boys trip once a year. No questions asked.

She does her MJ sessions, girls night out and I've learnt just to give her space as well.

Still though, when questions like this comes up....one has to wonder where it stems from, you know?