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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #46  
Old 03-01-2021, 02:35 AM
willroyce willroyce is offline
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage

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Originally Posted by fallen11 View Post
How much you are going to spend on divorce fees: most importantly is how different are the terms which both parties are willing to accept for divorce.
I suggest you start collecting evidence of her being verbally abusive to you and your mum so that when negotiating for divorce terms you will have a little more bargaining power. From what i know, judge wont totally side the female. Its the law thats siding the female. You still have to pay, but can fight to pay less. No kids is very good thing if you're going for divorce.
Element of surprise will also help you a bit. When you start to let her know you going for divorce, file it fast so that she has little time to react and research about how to claw more $$$ from you. You need to prepare the terms for her to accept as females are usually less decisive. Unless she has already researched about it and was planning for this ending beforehand....
yes this is very true. Just stay single, work to be rich, hop onto apps like tinder or SA or sugarbook.com and just get fwb or sugarbabes
  #47  
Old 03-01-2021, 02:38 AM
willroyce willroyce is offline
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage

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Originally Posted by larue View Post
Yes, take notes of incidents. What time, where, how.

You say, she say no use one. Have evidence. Going to a lawyer straightaway is not very useful if you are just going to complain in vague terms like in your post.

Any children? Have you been giving her money? How Long have you been married? Joint savings accounts, contribution proportions etc. What other marital assets do you have?

As fallen said, good chance if you don’t have kids. Unless you have been financially supporting her, she does not have much claim over your earnings.
yes very true, we have to be financially stable and our current situation also is pretty bad. It is best to have personal savings to survive comfortably
  #48  
Old 03-01-2021, 02:40 AM
willroyce willroyce is offline
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage

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Originally Posted by Bullshitlar View Post
Agreed, woman today too prideful and spoiled to ever admit they have flaws. The blame is always push on others
most of womens this day has only gotten the wrong concept of feminism and wants to overpower men
  #49  
Old 03-01-2021, 02:41 AM
willroyce willroyce is offline
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage

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Originally Posted by Alson15 View Post
Hi bro, I suggest that you straight up talk to her about it, communication is really key. Lose your pride and talk (or whine, whatever you call it) to her. Suggest to go for marriage counselling also.

After that, if things are still not changing, divorce. Nothings worth being abused. Never.

Good luck bro
agreed, communication is vital in all relationship
  #50  
Old 03-01-2021, 10:28 PM
TenSanYi TenSanYi is offline
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage

Hi Samsters,

Thanks for your advices. I am trying to minimise the cost but if really no choice, I guess I can fork out to 10k to for this. We been married around 6 years and no kids, both of us is holding a full time job.

I do not give her any money despite her numerous demands, no joint savings, no other marital assets except HDB.
  #51  
Old 04-01-2021, 10:15 AM
larue larue is offline
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage

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Originally Posted by TenSanYi View Post
Hi Samsters,

Thanks for your advices. I am trying to minimise the cost but if really no choice, I guess I can fork out to 10k to for this. We been married around 6 years and no kids, both of us is holding a full time job.

I do not give her any money despite her numerous demands, no joint savings, no other marital assets except HDB.
Then if you have to end it, do it now before there are more encumbrances in future.

Start building evidence of her unreasonable behavior.
  #52  
Old 04-01-2021, 10:36 AM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by TenSanYi View Post
Hi Samsters,

Thanks for your advices. I am trying to minimise the cost but if really no choice, I guess I can fork out to 10k to for this. We been married around 6 years and no kids, both of us is holding a full time job.

I do not give her any money despite her numerous demands, no joint savings, no other marital assets except HDB.
You should have filed for divorce before year 5, then the marriage would be deemed as a short marriage. More restrictions on what each party can claim.

The good things are there are no children and not much assets. It makes the divorce so much simpler. Though how much you will spend is also determine by what the other party do.
  #53  
Old 04-01-2021, 10:42 AM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage

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Originally Posted by TenSanYi View Post
Hi TS, i feel you. I am 34yr old and my wife is 36. My situation is almost similar as you but i do not have any kids, my wife is a SPR and we own a 5 room flat for coming 2 years.

I am paying around 60%+ percent of loan using my CPF while she is only paying 30%+ My income is only around lower median level. Basically I am paying all the household expenses and she has the cheek to demand me to give her money.

She has been very verbal abusive to me and my mother regardless of situations and this is something i cannot tolerant any further.

I will sincerely be grateful and appreciate if anyone have a good and affordable lawyer to recommend? i wish to end this nightmare asap.

Thank you
PM me if you want me to recommend you my lawyer. If someone is practising family law for more than 20 years and still doing it, then I think that person is pretty established.

Sorry to TS for hijacking your thread.
  #54  
Old 09-01-2021, 06:24 PM
parrotkid parrotkid is offline
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by TenSanYi View Post
Hi TS, i feel you. I am 34yr old and my wife is 36. My situation is almost similar as you but i do not have any kids, my wife is a SPR and we own a 5 room flat for coming 2 years.

I am paying around 60%+ percent of loan using my CPF while she is only paying 30%+ My income is only around lower median level. Basically I am paying all the household expenses and she has the cheek to demand me to give her money.

She has been very verbal abusive to me and my mother regardless of situations and this is something i cannot tolerant any further.

I will sincerely be grateful and appreciate if anyone have a good and affordable lawyer to recommend? i wish to end this nightmare asap.

Thank you
What is the education level of your wife? Which nationality is she?
  #55  
Old 09-01-2021, 07:24 PM
Royboy1 Royboy1 is offline
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage

one further advise, if money need to be given. Give lump sum and f off. never op for monthly/yearly allowance as this allows the other party chance of coming back to bite you. good luck
  #56  
Old 11-01-2021, 10:01 AM
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LooksLikeJesus LooksLikeJesus is offline
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Lightbulb Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by TenSanYi View Post
Hi TS, i feel you. I am 34yr old and my wife is 36. My situation is almost similar as you but i do not have any kids, my wife is a SPR and we own a 5 room flat for coming 2 years.

I am paying around 60%+ percent of loan using my CPF while she is only paying 30%+ My income is only around lower median level. Basically I am paying all the household expenses and she has the cheek to demand me to give her money.

She has been very verbal abusive to me and my mother regardless of situations and this is something i cannot tolerant any further.

I will sincerely be grateful and appreciate if anyone have a good and affordable lawyer to recommend? i wish to end this nightmare asap.

Thank you
Quote:
Originally Posted by Royboy1 View Post
one further advise, if money need to be given. Give lump sum and f off. never op for monthly/yearly allowance as this allows the other party chance of coming back to bite you. good luck
Now is the time to make a decision. You have to weigh in the options. Take a pc of paper and write down the pros and cons. Need to factor in how the situation will deteriorate for the 5 years and predict what will she do.

Unfortunately, if family issues are bad to begin with. It seldom improves with time, only get worse (IMHO).

Like another guy said. Paid her a lump in whatever manner and tell her to F off. The longer you drag, the more complicated it becomes. A home is a place to relax and chill, not a battlefield. These people have psychological and behavioural issues. Get rid of them.

Don't be like this guy in one of the FB groups I subbed. Came onto a M***W FB grp. 1st thing asked if should divorce his wife, somemore married to a PRC for 10 years with 3 children, now regretting it.


Last edited by LooksLikeJesus; 11-01-2021 at 10:30 AM.
  #57  
Old 13-01-2021, 12:28 AM
BoLiang BoLiang is offline
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage

marriage is sharing burden. if you are getting the blunt of it, then its time to make a stand. Couple of things i dont understanding though,

1) why is your rental at 1.8k when your take home is 2k+
2) are you living with her entire family?

To make an immediate improvement. Stop giving her money until she wise up. Since she sounded super self centered. Then, no need to be nice until she turns nice.
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  #58  
Old 13-01-2021, 12:31 AM
BoLiang BoLiang is offline
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nottybear View Post
Easier said than done. Now we are living in a pro feminists world. You see the news, everywhere women’s rights, women being leaders and shits. Now also wife can refuse sex and husband cannot do anything. Another reason to avoid marriage
do you have multi-million property? If yes, i can understand women charter will screw you up. Else, fuck it la. Happiness cannot be measured in and by numbers.

You dont show her your fangs, she will always treat you like a slave once she is used to it.
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  #59  
Old 14-01-2021, 04:56 PM
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by BoLiang View Post
do you have multi-million property? If yes, i can understand women charter will screw you up. Else, fuck it la. Happiness cannot be measured in and by numbers.

You dont show her your fangs, she will always treat you like a slave once she is used to it.
As much as I agree with you. The marital laws here will always be against men. If you show "too much fangs", she can just divorce you based on "emotional abuse".

Most important of all, children will always be the ultimate victims.
  #60  
Old 15-01-2021, 06:03 PM
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage

From someone who has gone thru this i hope this woudl help u although this is not meant to encourage u to leave ur marrriage;

If u can have patience. In abusive marriage, try to find excuse to setup cameras at home . U need evidence.

Start to squirriel money away and be smart about it . Cryptos are a good way.

The pool of asset to be split is net of loans . Hint hint.

If got kid u can consider to take the kid away and walk out first before she does it to u .

Consider taking up a PPO if she hit u , thats y u have cctv at home.

Start collecting receipts for proof of household expenses.

Consult a decent lawyer.

I am not a lawyer... and this is just for your reference. I made this decision and i dont regret it . I am a happier person now. Each family is different.
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