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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #1  
Old 19-06-2022, 08:21 PM
benjm85 benjm85 is offline
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Stress about work

In the civil service for the past 12 years. Recently committed a grave mistake and really regretted it. Due to the mistake, been thinking of resigning. But am afraid not able to find another job that pays the same (5k+). Only a dip holder. Got a family of 2 young kids to feed too.

Should I just brave through this episode, face whatever punishment that will come, and carry on my job with the possibility of no promotion for the next 5 years due to the mistake? Or try to find another job? I also considererd doing my own business, maybe opening a pub or something..
  #2  
Old 19-06-2022, 08:37 PM
TenSanYi TenSanYi is offline
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Re: Stress about work

What are you working as? How about just stay and face the music while searching for a new job? Recession is coming soon, starting a business is not really advisable?


Quote:
Originally Posted by benjm85 View Post
In the civil service for the past 12 years. Recently committed a grave mistake and really regretted it. Due to the mistake, been thinking of resigning. But am afraid not able to find another job that pays the same (5k+). Only a dip holder. Got a family of 2 young kids to feed too.

Should I just brave through this episode, face whatever punishment that will come, and carry on my job with the possibility of no promotion for the next 5 years due to the mistake? Or try to find another job? I also considererd doing my own business, maybe opening a pub or something..
  #3  
Old 19-06-2022, 08:41 PM
Penguin23 Penguin23 is offline
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Re: Stress about work

Quote:
Originally Posted by benjm85 View Post
In the civil service for the past 12 years. Recently committed a grave mistake and really regretted it. Due to the mistake, been thinking of resigning. But am afraid not able to find another job that pays the same (5k+). Only a dip holder. Got a family of 2 young kids to feed too.

Should I just brave through this episode, face whatever punishment that will come, and carry on my job with the possibility of no promotion for the next 5 years due to the mistake? Or try to find another job? I also considererd doing my own business, maybe opening a pub or something..
I was in a similar situation, I have been in the same company for the last 15 years and a few years ago when things were looking really promising, I was the right-hand man for a very senior manager.

My boss lost a political battle and took early retirement, and I had to report to a new and vindictive ex-boss who hated my guts and put me through 3 years of (work) performance hell - round after round of Performance Improvement Plan programmes (PIPs), which I thankfully passed.

I decided to stick it out, if the company no longer wants me they better pay me a retrenchment package and not push me into throwing a resignation letter. It was tough, but in the end I came out with a new role and a promotion (albeit in a different department, less prestigious but I am happier).

I do wonder sometimes, if I may have done even better if I left and tried my luck elsewhere but you know what they always say about the grass always looking greener on the other side. For me, it is always better to choose the devil you know, rather than the devil you don't.

YMMV - Everyone's circumstances are unique but the one thing that I always believe:

Never reply when you’re angry.
Never make a promise when you’re happy.
Never make a decision when you’re sad

All the best.
  #4  
Old 19-06-2022, 08:43 PM
benjm85 benjm85 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TenSanYi View Post
What are you working as? How about just stay and face the music while searching for a new job? Recession is coming soon, starting a business is not really advisable?
Hmm I am in the civil service..not convenient to elaborate more 😬.
Yes I can choose to stay and face the punishment, probably will drag for 6months or more to know the outcome. Sian part is whatever good things I have done for the past one year is overridden by this mistake, and probably I will be made to suffer in terms of my promotion and grading for the next 4-5 years due to this mistake.
Thats why I am thinking of resigning and be self employed. Opening a small pub seems like nightlife business are lucrative.
  #5  
Old 19-06-2022, 08:46 PM
benjm85 benjm85 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Penguin23 View Post
I was in a similar situation, I have been in the same company for the last 15 years and a few years ago when things were looking really promising, I was the right-hand man for a very senior manager.

My boss lost a political battle and took early retirement, and I had to report to a new and vindictive ex-boss who hated my guts and put me through 3 years of (work) performance hell - round after round of Performance Improvement Plan programmes (PIPs), which I thankfully passed.

I decided to stick it out, if the company no longer wants me they better pay me a retrenchment package and not push me into throwing a resignation letter. It was tough, but in the end I came out with a new role and a promotion (albeit in a different department, less prestigious but I am happier).

I do wonder sometimes, if I may have done even better if I left and tried my luck elsewhere but you know what they always say about the grass always looking greener on the other side. For me, it is always better to choose the devil you know, rather than the devil you don't.

YMMV - Everyone's circumstances are unique but the one thing that I always believe:

Never reply when you’re angry.
Never make a promise when you’re happy.
Never make a decision when you’re sad

All the best.
Thanks for your inputs bro. The last sentence “Never make a decision when you are sad” is very true.
  #6  
Old 19-06-2022, 09:11 PM
Penguin23 Penguin23 is offline
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Re: Stress about work

Quote:
Originally Posted by benjm85 View Post
Hmm I am in the civil service..not convenient to elaborate more 😬.
Yes I can choose to stay and face the punishment, probably will drag for 6months or more to know the outcome. Sian part is whatever good things I have done for the past one year is overridden by this mistake, and probably I will be made to suffer in terms of my promotion and grading for the next 4-5 years due to this mistake.
Thats why I am thinking of resigning and be self employed. Opening a small pub seems like nightlife business are lucrative.
Life is uncertain, bro. The most important part, is to really try hard to roll with the punches and never ever make a major life decision in a moment of sadness.

Whatever the circumstances are surrounding your "mistake", just learn from it and do not dwell too much on what could have been.
  #7  
Old 19-06-2022, 09:32 PM
benjm85 benjm85 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Penguin23 View Post
Life is uncertain, bro. The most important part, is to really try hard to roll with the punches and never ever make a major life decision in a moment of sadness.

Whatever the circumstances are surrounding your "mistake", just learn from it and do not dwell too much on what could have been.
Thanks for the advise bro. Will see what happen this coming few days.
  #8  
Old 19-06-2022, 11:09 PM
riotspace riotspace is offline
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Re: Stress about work

Quote:
Originally Posted by benjm85 View Post
Hmm I am in the civil service..not convenient to elaborate more 😬.
Yes I can choose to stay and face the punishment, probably will drag for 6months or more to know the outcome. Sian part is whatever good things I have done for the past one year is overridden by this mistake, and probably I will be made to suffer in terms of my promotion and grading for the next 4-5 years due to this mistake.
Thats why I am thinking of resigning and be self employed. Opening a small pub seems like nightlife business are lucrative.
Unless you've set up and run your own business before, it's not easy running a pub. Setting it up is easy but maintaining it day after day and making sure got profits is the hard part. Most businesses start good but pubs are a dime a dozen and will always suffer from the next new thing
  #9  
Old 20-06-2022, 12:54 AM
Peacekeeping Peacekeeping is offline
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Re: Stress about work

Quote:
Originally Posted by Penguin23 View Post
I was in a similar situation, I have been in the same company for the last 15 years and a few years ago when things were looking really promising, I was the right-hand man for a very senior manager.

My boss lost a political battle and took early retirement, and I had to report to a new and vindictive ex-boss who hated my guts and put me through 3 years of (work) performance hell - round after round of Performance Improvement Plan programmes (PIPs), which I thankfully passed.

I decided to stick it out, if the company no longer wants me they better pay me a retrenchment package and not push me into throwing a resignation letter. It was tough, but in the end I came out with a new role and a promotion (albeit in a different department, less prestigious but I am happier).

I do wonder sometimes, if I may have done even better if I left and tried my luck elsewhere but you know what they always say about the grass always looking greener on the other side. For me, it is always better to choose the devil you know, rather than the devil you don't.

YMMV - Everyone's circumstances are unique but the one thing that I always believe:

Never reply when you’re angry.
Never make a promise when you’re happy.
Never make a decision when you’re sad

All the best.
Golden advice. Really must listen... we are easily controlled by emotions.
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  #10  
Old 20-06-2022, 12:58 AM
Peacekeeping Peacekeeping is offline
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Re: Stress about work

If want to do business, don’t do anything that needs to pay rental. We are in 2022 man.
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  #11  
Old 20-06-2022, 02:57 AM
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Willamshakspear Willamshakspear is offline
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Re: Stress about work

Based upon what you cared to reveal, & rightly so, as we are only merely nicks & strangers but this is Singapore - we are all bros, based upon our sacred National Pledge, to leave none behind - that you are in the civil service, with issues & considering HIGHLY on nightlife biz, here are some words of caution for you to ponder upon.

1. Nightlife biz is NOT as straightforward as many presumed. It is vastly complicated & one would have to deal with UNSAVOURY characters & their..er..requests, which is an UNDERSTATEMENT, for ordinary salarymen & even those who survive from the streets, to contemplate upon, & decisions made there to survive would be far more adverse than the mistake you had made & scarred you in the civil service .

It is a biz that is meant for those whom had graduated from UOSS - University of Streets of Singapore, whom grown up with the hard life on the streets, with contacts, & certainly not for someone whom had lead a sheltered life, narrowed focus solely on academic acheivements with a degree as you earned a salary of $5000+, which no taxpayer would pay if you have no relevant quantifiable skills, experience or qualifications.

It is NOT a job that mere linear statistics of accounting, a few months talking to nightlife operators whom will never reveal their true earnings & deep issues, that you would presume that you can do the same, & thus many sheltered citizens had failed, with huge debts.


2. It is comprehensible that in you current predicament & stage of life that you would contemplate leaving. If you really find it unbearable, than take a few months, with all the sheltered & protected earnings of Spore's civil service can offer - 8 to 5 hrs, annual leaves, paid medical, etc, etc, to learn a skill, eg - cooking skills to earn big bucks, be a hawker, whom earns more than a mere $5000 salary.

Search online or go for cooking courses, find the best, & focus on just one or a few dishes, and it would be enough to earn not CEO pay, but would be sufficient to afford a lifestyle you desire than the average SECURE salaryman.

If OldChangkee can sell mere curry puffs & buy landed properties, cars, etc, & a 24yr old can open 15 locations merely selling fried rice, so too can you, if you put your skills, Critical thinking, mental discipline & MANAGEMENT skills if any, learnt at Uni to it.


3. However, if you feel that you do not want the 6hr sweat & bulging muscles from all that frying, you may want to consider being on the forefront of blooming industries- such as green energy, amongst many other industries that made Singapore, a Rule of Law nation, truly a land of opportunities trusted by many Worldwide.

Set up a company, as a broker, not buyer or seller. It costs only a few hundreds. Then you will need to work hard, to source both buyers & sellers, meet their needs, and critically, your contacts within the civil service - invite them out, talk to them & ask for help, or for the help of their contacts. Be just part of the supply chain. As a registered & legal biz entity with term contracts written, you will be able to earn a passive income from such as long as you are able to keep clients satisfied with your service, & think critically far ahead of competition that may arise from a free market that the port city of Singapore where ALL goods worldwide passes through is.

Your civil service contacts & experiences in your line of work there WILL be of help, if you want to, to succeed, OR live life within that salary now that you are earning, work hard to correct mistakes & be recognized to be promoted, to be given a second chance, as it will still accord a measure of quality life many others living in foreign lands would salivate for.

All the best.

Last edited by Willamshakspear; 20-06-2022 at 03:42 AM.
  #12  
Old 20-06-2022, 12:53 PM
benjm85 benjm85 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peacekeeping View Post
If want to do business, don’t do anything that needs to pay rental. We are in 2022 man.
Means online? Ecommerce?
  #13  
Old 20-06-2022, 08:01 PM
fallen11 fallen11 is offline
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Re: Stress about work

Quote:
Originally Posted by benjm85 View Post
In the civil service for the past 12 years. Recently committed a grave mistake and really regretted it. Due to the mistake, been thinking of resigning. But am afraid not able to find another job that pays the same (5k+). Only a dip holder. Got a family of 2 young kids to feed too.

Should I just brave through this episode, face whatever punishment that will come, and carry on my job with the possibility of no promotion for the next 5 years due to the mistake? Or try to find another job? I also considererd doing my own business, maybe opening a pub or something..
if i am you
i would stick with the job till i find something better along the way
i dont know what kind of person you are, but people can be different. So i'm merely telling you my choice, not telling what to do for yourself
  #14  
Old 20-06-2022, 11:14 PM
Peacekeeping Peacekeeping is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by benjm85 View Post
Means online? Ecommerce?
Yes. You can also sell your services on carousell. Look out for metaverse opportunity. We might be reduced to a small avatar on the screen.
  #15  
Old 20-06-2022, 11:39 PM
Hunkydunky Hunkydunky is offline
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Re: Stress about work

Sian sia.. I also kana bad luck at work too.

Worked so hard during pandemic but end up no promotion.. worse still is another person got transferred over and promoted. Transferred over means knowing nothing much here and I gotta teach this person.
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