Tell me what he meant...

[xiaocrystal]

thanks to all the bro who shared your views.

actually I'm always sex-ready for him and easy to please. but whenever in action, he doesn't bother if I had my share of fun. my hub is not good at bed, he cum in less than a min. I nvr blame him or belittle him yet he's always hurting me emotionally and physically. and to be frank, I nvr had any oral done from him to me these while. I will nvr know how it feels when in the act. he always cum so easily and fast which I hasn't even had my desires fulfilled yet.

and he's doing all these to me...... sad ttm!

[littlepok]

Originally Posted by xiaocrystal

forcing him to a corner? I just Dowan to bj for him but I'm always sex-ready.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/ar...epression.html

something useful to share, u never know, it may work wonders.

bros, do share with ur gf fb or oc.

[notti4u]

Originally Posted by xiaocrystal

yes I had to still stay with him. I'm not working and the kids still need the support financially. truthfully, if I had to stay now is not because I wanna salvage this marriage. I'm staying on for the money and for the sake of the kids.

forcing him to a corner? I just Dowan to bj for him but I'm always sex-ready.

Sis, then I have to say that becos of money you can let him beat you up? Why can't you go and work and earn money on your own. Suriving on your own is better than being a wife that get beaten up by hubby due to she is sticking to him becos of money and kids? If you let your kids see their daddy beating their mummy, what will they learn? Violent is the way to resolve agrument? Is this right? I believe that being a good example for kids are important.

Well, I also never get BJ from my wife before and if someone will want to BJ me, why not? So in short, you may want to change your prespective of BJ your hubby and let him not stray from you? This is just my thoughts only.

[<<totally>>]

Originally Posted by xiaocrystal

yes I had to still stay with him. I'm not working and the kids still need the support financially. truthfully, if I had to stay now is not because I wanna salvage this marriage. I'm staying on for the money and for the sake of the kids.

forcing him to a corner? I just Dowan to bj for him but I'm always sex-ready.

Maybe is time for you to take a part time job on the pretext of trying to help ends meet. Once you see that the job can be converted to full time and the kids can be well taken care off, there goes your chain and cage for the freedom that you yearned for.

BJ is part of the sex, maybe he should let you know how enjoyable that can be by offering to paint for you instead. If you liked it and wish to return his favor and this little issue will be resolved. I love painting and often get excited when my counterpart become so helpless and weak.

Or maybe the smell or hairy jungle did turn you off. Get him to shower real nice, shave or trim to your liking. Some peppermint sweets for you before BJ. That will be good for you and him, din feel the smell and that peppermint is going to arouse him for sure.

Good sex need some preparation work also. Hehe

[option69]

a few strategies

DEFENCE
build your fortress. have a fixed place to put all hp where incoming msg can be seen easily. fixed your charger there. dont ask so many questions. observe his pattern. consult divorce lawyers, street smart sisters, check his car mileage. basically map his daily pattern. gather all evidence if u need to go on offensive, these will be your ammo.

have an income. work outside, full time, part-time etc.

ATTACK
confront him with all the evidence. get a third party to sit in. maybe a trusted sister. has a few stages; confront, catch him red handed maybe with Private investigator help

DIPLOMACY
drop hints you are suspecting he is fooling around. offer a way out. up the ante. more active family or sex life.

FLANKING
fill his after office life with activities. fetching kids, mother in law, social dance, brisk walk, cooking class,... so he has no time to fool around.


Sister
You need to work out the details and approach as only you know his schedule and life style.

[SexyStan]

Originally Posted by xiaocrystal

hello to all brothers,

just a short intro abt myself. I'm 25yo, married with 2 little kids. have been reading the threads on and off when I could, and nw I need some advices from you all.

here it goes:
last night I had a quarrel with my hub because I found that he intentionally deleted this whatsapp chat with this particular woman who is single and abt 30-35yo whom he knew from some games. I'm actually okay with him knowing new friends and chat with them because I thought it's just some social networking. but when I realized he deleted the chat (it was there all the while before), I knew something was not quite right. and when questioned, he gave lousy excuses or just trying to smoke away from me. so I threw a fit and we fought because I just hate it for the fact that he can't come clean with me. ended up he threw a punch on my face and now I have a swollen cheekbone. it made me even more mad and suspicious now because how could he did all these to me just over a mere friend known over cyberspace for just less than a week?!!!!

long story short, so after awhile he told me because he sent an image of a box of condoms to her and was just trying to be funny with her, purely joking he meant. in order not to let me gets upset or paranoid, he deleted the chat and so he says. oh forgot to mention, my hub is 2yrs older than me only. so the question now is why does my hub wanna do that to her ie sending her the image?! just purely bought a box of condoms out of fun to chat with her only or he meant other stuffs? (we don't use condoms at all so I dunno why he bought that for ) I really want to know how you guys think?

this is not the first time my hub did such stuffs to me (be it hitting me or cheating on me). I'm just so tired and I really did my job well, looking after the kids well and manage the home well.

Hi Sis,

You are the only person in this world who knows your hubby's persona, since its been for a few years at least you've been sleeping next to him, considering you guys share between the both of you; Therefore, any one who offers their advice, can only be using a broadbrush approach, me included. So really, u need to understand its not a one size fits all solution. I will attempt to share my 2 cents worth, but its strictly from my perspectives, as a guy: -

(1) "...intentionally deleted... woman... it was there all the while before..."

The deletion is no biggie really, and the original contents may or may not be proof of adultery. It could be as minor as harmless flirting, which guys do all the time, to medium sextings, to serious professions of Love & affection. I suggest u don't read too much into this. Guys 逢场作戏 (I haven't seen any who don't anyway in the mildest degrees) all the time, so it could be as minor as a harmless flirt, he got guilty and worried and he knew you found out, so he deleted before u could read it.

(2) Questioned... Gave lousy excuses... Smoke away... Can't come clean

This could be further to the above in (1). It may not that be that he can't come clean w/ u but really, as simple as he doesn't know how to. Its difficult for guys to explain sometimes, why we do funny things like flirt, sweet-talk, serenade on the minor scale of things to the more serious sexting, profess, e.t.c for no reason. Its true, it is difficult for us to explain. All guys 逢场作戏, be it occasionally or constantly. Its true, and its a fact most females already know.

(3) Image of condoms...

I get u sis. This is probably a lie. But really, the contents of that messenger, or the images therein, is really a non-issue. He could have conjured out this lie, because he didn't know how to explain to u? Or because its really that big a can of worms to be opened so he chose to cover up? OR it may even be true, really. Some guys, are that pointless.

(4) Not the first time... Hitting... or Cheating

This is the real issue Sis. Hitting a gal by a guy, regardless of any reason, is the major no no. I don't know his frequency for doing so, or the degree of injury he inflicts on u each time, or the circumstances leading to him doing so, so I can't advise really. Pertaining to his cheating, I don't know the kind of lies he told or the kinda proof u have tt he had indeed lied, so again, I can't advise.

Still, no woman should tolerate being hit by a man, this, I suggest, you make it clear to him. PPOs can be applied, but unless you are contemplating a divorce, it is not viable. The best way, is to make your stand clear to him. Any violation thereafter, should not be tolerated.

Sis, 1st & foremost u need to consider your position seriously before anything else, (i) the kind of man u know him to be; (ii) does he love you and do you love him; (iii) are you willing to remain married to this man; (iv) does your children love and respect him as a father; (v) were you at any point in time injured gravely by him; (vi) are there any good points about him worthy of you hanging on; & most imptly (vii) do u feel he respects ur feelings, u as a person & u as his wife.

my 2 cents worth, cheers.

[Thunderstorm]

if a man can hit a woman/wife, be prepared to leave him cos he definitely shows no respect to a woman, he's done it once and will repeat again and again, no doubt about it.


worst still, sending image of condom and spend time chatting with other woman, what a immature jerk


equip yourself with new skill and be prepared to start afresh of your new life, you will be happier once you realize you do not depend on that jerk again

[thomas88]

I strongly believe that your husband has that intention to bed the other gal else he would not have bought condoms since he do not require it with you.

There's one thing which you must know is under whatever circumstances, a man must never lay a finger on a woman. If you allow him to do that the first time then there'll be endless time that he'll lay his hand on you to even at the slightest provocation.

I think you'd better make plans for your future and leave such a man.

[jj_jj]

Originally Posted by xiaocrystal

Fact#1: he threw a punch on my face and now I have a swollen cheekbone.

Fact#2:we don't use condoms at all
Question#1: Did he buy the condoms or it's just a photo? If he bought then you already know why.

Fact#3: this is not the first time my hub did such stuffs to me (be it hitting me or cheating on me).

Like some bro have said, work towards financial independence so that in the event you decide to divorce, you will at least be in a better financial state regardless of alimony.
PPO is a good interim measure to protect yourself from further beatings.

You probably already know the way forward but needed this to strengthen your resolve. Take care.

[bigangry]

Originally Posted by xiaocrystal

hello to all brothers,

just a short intro abt myself. I'm 25yo, married with 2 little kids. have been reading the threads on and off when I could, and nw I need some advices from you all.

here it goes:
last night I had a quarrel with my hub because I found that he intentionally deleted this whatsapp chat with this particular woman who is single and abt 30-35yo whom he knew from some games. I'm actually okay with him knowing new friends and chat with them because I thought it's just some social networking. but when I realized he deleted the chat (it was there all the while before), I knew something was not quite right. and when questioned, he gave lousy excuses or just trying to smoke away from me. so I threw a fit and we fought because I just hate it for the fact that he can't come clean with me. ended up he threw a punch on my face and now I have a swollen cheekbone. it made me even more mad and suspicious now because how could he did all these to me just over a mere friend known over cyberspace for just less than a week?!!!!

long story short, so after awhile he told me because he sent an image of a box of condoms to her and was just trying to be funny with her, purely joking he meant. in order not to let me gets upset or paranoid, he deleted the chat and so he says. oh forgot to mention, my hub is 2yrs older than me only. so the question now is why does my hub wanna do that to her ie sending her the image?! just purely bought a box of condoms out of fun to chat with her only or he meant other stuffs? (we don't use condoms at all so I dunno why he bought that for ) I really want to know how you guys think?

this is not the first time my hub did such stuffs to me (be it hitting me or cheating on me). I'm just so tired and I really did my job well, looking after the kids well and manage the home well.

not first time hitting you? i think you got a serious issue, he is very abusive. better learn how to protect yourself.

as for cheating if he have a history of cheating, he will probably do it again if given a chance.

[bigangry]

Originally Posted by xiaocrystal

I nvr dare to tell my family nor his abt our problems. no one knows he hit me or have affairs outside. everyone view him as a good hub and father, probably because he did his part as the one bringing bck the bacon. apart from that, I'm also quite conscious of how people look at me so that's why I'm keeping all to myself. whenever there are bruises, I always just tell people I fell or hurt myself in my clumsy state.

I'm staying on for the money only for the kids. it's no joke to raise 2 single-handedly, plus I have no high qualifications nor much job experiences. our marriage was a shotgun.....

family and friends cant be that stupid if you keep getting bruises often. you really should get some help regarding your abusive husband. there are some hotline available, any bros here know? please forward to TS

[xiaocrystal]

thank you for all the posts and recvd a lot of comforting PMs! super appreciate all the thoughts and concern.

will take time and reply all tonight.

[SiliconVibrator]

whatever prob u have gt to talk it out and settle, but regarding iuuse on hitting u, i personally thinks that it not right to hit a gal/wife. dun let him have the habit of hitting you, take care.

[K9696]

In my humble opinion - You shouldn't have post your story online.

You are married with two kids - you already know the answer.

Talk to him see how you can sort thing out with him.

Everyone here will contributes their ideas that
will eventually cos you more confuse.

Good luck

[FRATERNITY]

TS, wanna make your hub jealous? Pm me.