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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help. |
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#1
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Stuck in an abusive marriage
I’m 27 this year wife is 26, got a baby this year now 3 months old.
Ever since we got married wife changed and started treating me like a maid in the house. A lot of demands regarding lifestyle and cleanliness, after baby born seldom let let me interact with him because she say I’m not good, cannot learn because I work 6 days work week. Every day come home get scolded or shouted at, recently become more abusive and violent hitting me. Her father say I cannot hit her back, I am not the type to hit women also, so I just tolerate. Her mother only know how to cause drama between us and always say bad things about me. Honestly I am not perfect also, one time very long ago she check my phone I got entertain some convos with girls on wechat. Other than that I never did anything else or treat her like shit. Sometimes I wake up to cook american breakfast for her, I do laundry, iron clothes and general cleaning. From then on she always blackmail me say if I don’t do certain things she will tell everyone about what I did. My salary not much because of COVID bad times, fresh graduate but I earn about 2k plus take home, I pay rental $1800 every month not much money left. I did not mind paying if it’s a happy family and I sacrifice abit, but I do so much but every day my life at home is hell. I feel like workplace is becoming like home and home is a workplace. Any advice bros? I know if I get divorce we will lose our BTO that’s still building, lose my son also. After clearing my salary and living from paycheck to paycheck, now she tell me that the money she save is hers only and I cannot depend on her in the future if something happens to me. Recently I started having depressive thoughts and wanted to take my life a few times, she told me I would not dare to. I am planning to buy a few plans so my son will have some money after I’m gone also. |
#2
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage
It's not going to get any better. In fact it's going to get a hell of a lot worse.
My advice is to cut your losses now because the longer you wait the the more difficult it is going to be to extricate yourself from this nightmare. There are far better women in this world. You don't have to suffer for the rest of your life.
__________________
Tips for ALL samsters.
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#3
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage
what is preventing you from being the boss?
You appear passive. |
#4
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage
Easier said than done. Now we are living in a pro feminists world. You see the news, everywhere women’s rights, women being leaders and shits. Now also wife can refuse sex and husband cannot do anything. Another reason to avoid marriage
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#5
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage
Hi bro, if you mention she started to hit you and etc. Try to go hospital to get yourself checked. Afterwhich you can file for a PPO application for you and your child.
Wish everything goes well for you! Anything unsure, can pm me bro. |
#6
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage
It is already over lar, many of us been there also. So have i but minus the kid. Dont be Stockholm syndrome and stay on. You will be a happier man when u start loving and respecting yoirself more. 离开她是一个解脱。
here what u can do. 1: man up and be your own man. Do the things you want to do like what a man is supposed to do. If u dont want to do it, tell her no. I suggest u go gym, hang out with people who are living life to their fullest in a positive way. Start taking charge of your life, is that all you deserved? Ur poor mother n father bring u up just so your wife can abuse u issit? 2: u end up suffering for the rest of ur life as nothing more but a slave and atm 3: bite the bullet and divorce, lead a happy , interesting, exciting life, stay fit, look good. Work hard, play hard but still be a good father to your child. |
#7
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage
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How many young girls today is willing to talk. How many willing to admit their own fault, mistakes and short coming. End of the day she will blame everyone on you. Walk away. U still young, dont suffer anymore. Carry on, she will jump on another cock. Many married woman cheat in unhappy marriage |
#8
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage
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Questions to ask yourself... 1. Do you still love her? 2.Do you want to be with your child to see him grow up every step of his life? If its yes, -then put in the extra effort to be a good husband and a good father. -Learn to be patience with your wife and your child. -Spend more time at home after work and enrich yourself with knowledge of rising a child and other skills that can improve your worklife and paycheck. -Maybe your wife after childbirth is having some mental issues and plus yr phone convo with other girls make her lose confident in you. -Is your wife or yourself local sporeans? If she not local... Did u guarantor her for the PR? Did she convert to be sporean yet? Don't help her to convert. -You stay with in-laws? Your main issue is your rental is almost 3/4 your paycheck...How to survive...? Divorce is last resort. |
#9
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Troublesome. |
#10
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage
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You are 27 with a 26 year old wife, what? you two have been together since secondary school or post secondary? I gathered from your post that both of you don't have rich parents or lucrative family business meaning not a lot of money and not a lot of free time, not easy to maintain a relationship much less a marriage in this case. Maybe your wife regrets the marriage especially when she compares her life with those of her peers? I think best is to have a good talk with her, if really cannot salvage the marriage, you need to start talking to your parents about moving back with then and how to care for your new born child. The day to day care (childcare) will be a priority. Last edited by iluvbreast; 17-11-2020 at 10:11 AM. Reason: grammer |
#11
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#12
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#13
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage
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I said you don't have much money because you are living way above your means, monthly rental of 1.8k (which you claim to pay)? That leaves you max 1.1k or about $39 daily to live? and on top of that you have new born child? Easy for me to say because at age 45, I am only looking back at what you are going through now. You yourself said things that will be easier if you are making 10k monthly and spending less time in the office. Definitely lah, at 10k amonth, 1.8k rental will be very affordable then, on top of that, probably you can get a maid so you don't have to clean the house and tired yourself out. You probably can get a car also and then fetch your wife to and fro work and then have more time and less things on your mind (other that surviving on $39 daily) to sweet talk her, coax her and bring her to nice restaurants or cafes so she feel romanced and probably can show off on Instagram. Of course, I am only speculating (with the limited information your shared), your wife and hence your situation may be completely different, that you may be gifted a car and money to spend from your parents so you are doing the things I mentioned above and yet your wife is still treating you badly. Last edited by iluvbreast; 18-11-2020 at 10:38 AM. Reason: grammer |
#14
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage
Could it be some sort of post partum depression thing? If you love her you should explore the possibility.
If not, think of the best way to get out now before it gets worse. And the kind of relationship you might want with your child. |
#15
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Re: Stuck in an abusive marriage
Ts, you got pm
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