Sex or lack of it, after marriage and kids

[AccurateFR]

A lot of friends my age are starting to get married and have kids. My parents and grandparents are starting to pressure me into getting married 'before getting too old. Sex is important to me right now (see para below). My work is important to me. Kids are not important to me yet and I can't see them being important soon, or perhaps ever. There are some nice women that I THINK would be nice to marry but I'm worried about how things might change after marriage. Have seen and heard what happens with friends, relatives, even immediate family.

I'm 29 and have spent most of my years studying hard (you know Singapore lah), lots of sports too during the teenage years, and working on tertiary education (bachelors and masters overseas), before working hard (overseas for a few years and now in Singapore). Never spent much time at all dating, but recently slowed work down a bit and put more time towards dating and enjoy it very much. Realize sex is great and now am kind of obsessed with it. Learning lots all the time. Not sure how long this phase will last but I can't imagine it ending anytime soon.

Married guys can I ask how long roughly the sex stayed great? Years? Did it only get bad after kids were born?

When there are bad arguments, how often on average do they withhold sex? And for how long? I hear a lot of married men joke and complain about this.

What do wives generally enjoy or allow in bed? I have this idea that wives in general don't like BJs CIM COF COB AR AJ. Correct me if I'm wrong. I know there will always be exceptions but I'm looking for the rough rule. I can't imagine sex being great if it's limited to the standard few traditional positions.

Married men and women, please share your experiences, thanks!

[ourworld]

Not us!

Been together for 8years,,
Married for 3 and have a boy of 17mths old,,
I'm 30 and hubby is 33,,,

We are even more passionate than ever,,,
Except involving a 3rd party,,, eg. Swinging,, 3P,, 4P,,

We basically do every sexual act you can imagine!
CIM,,, COF,, Anus sex,, public sex/expose,, (we love most)
Golden shower,,,

We love each other very much,,,
It's the love that matters,,,
We wake up daily,,, feeling glad that we are sleeping beside each other,,,
When we make love,,, we basically felt that our souls meet,,,
It's beyond physically pleasure,,,

It all depends how much effort the couple put in,,
Sharing our sex life on SBF is another thing that adds on to our fetish
Knowing that we have "fans" and "viewers"
Adds on to my excitement,,,
I got even naughtier and more daring,,,
Creating more excite bed and spicy up our sexual life,,,

I even did striptease in "public" hahaha,,,
That was my most daring move! Hahaha,,,

Everybody,, be it male or female has sexual fetish,,,
Just need to explore and dig it out togeyher with your partner,,
Our thread has been going on since Aug,, and we crossed 3/4 million views,,,

Even with our boy,,,
It never stop us for creating excitement in our sex life!
Always takes 2 to clap!

Mrs Ow

[gmpc]

Mrs Ow can i ask when you and Mr Ow started your first time and how it was started.
I had been dating for 3 years going to 4 and next year we are tying the knot but we had yet to do anything sexually.

[alec]

My scenario not as good, dated 3yrs (during which the sex was awesome...), got married, wife got more busy, expecting me to be as busy as her, then we drifted apart.. Had a kid 4yrs later, and like magic, a dry spell was casted upon me as she prefers to talk than to actually doing the deed. The longest dry spell casted was about a year. Didn't seek "external help" as I scared wait kenna some disease... I think most important is finding support to take care of the little one if you need couple time. So now we spend more time with kid than with each other. If you ask me now, I don't know how to communicate with my wife anymore but at least I can still communicate with my child.

[hil169]

I have concerns about getting married too. And my gf is the kind who prefers to save it for marriage (thus I seek help in another thread). If we don't know each other's sexual preferences before marriage, I fear the worst (sexual incompatibility) may happen. No idea how to open up her mind to enjoy sex. We are in an exclusive relationship.

[tikogoh]

For my side, after my son was born, her sex drive dropped. We got busy with careers and then I started to eat out (That's when I officially registered with SammyBoy). Eventually she found out and she understood that it's her job to satisfy me.

Sometimes we're too tired to have sex, but we try to do it every weekend.

[Timetogo]

If you wanted sex quite frequently, don't get married. Married for men is about companion and belongings. Don't married a woman you love, because love does not exists. Married the woman who wanted to be with you and you like her. Married a woman who uses less of their brain

[prasip]

Originally Posted by Timetogo

If you wanted sex quite frequently, don't get married. Married for men is about companion and belongings. Don't married a woman you love, because love does not exists. Married the woman who wanted to be with you and you like her. Married a woman who uses less of their brain

Let the women who wanted to you more than you wanted her.

[ourworld]

Originally Posted by gmpc

Mrs Ow can i ask when you and Mr Ow started your first time and how it was started.
I had been dating for 3 years going to 4 and next year we are tying the knot but we had yet to do anything sexually.

Before answering your question,,
Not sure why you aren't exploring anything sexually,,
You shld explore and it wil actually lock you closer,,
Be it emotionally or physically,,

Let's face it,,
Sex is a basic needs,,,
How many times you hide yourself in the toilet and diy?
For female is also the same,,,
We do have our needs and fetish!
Bad sex will usually land up in bad marriage,,
The last thing you want is to tie a knot with somebody that you are unhappy returning home to,,,
And end up seeking alternative,,,

For me as a wife,,,
I will never let my hubby DIY,,,
It is also my fetish to explore different sexual act with the man I love!

Now Back to your question,,
When I met him,,
I was ard 22yo,, and he was 25,,,
it was like love at first sight!!
We saw each other in a pub,,
We couldn't take our eyes off each other,,,
I smile first and he came over,,,
We started going out and immediately fell in love,,
We made love in the 2nd week of our date,,
And it just keeps getting better,,

We tie a knot when I was 27,,
Have a boy last year,, and sex is still going on strong,,
Almost daily,,, almost,,,
Hahaha,,,

Look for our thread if you wanna know more,,
Honestly,,, We have inspire many couples here!

[ourworld]

Originally Posted by Timetogo

If you wanted sex quite frequently, don't get married. Married for men is about companion and belongings. Don't married a woman you love, because love does not exists. Married the woman who wanted to be with you and you like her. Married a woman who uses less of their brain

Beg to differ,,
Lousy analogy of a marriage,,

[gmpc]

Whoa Mrs Ow that was really fast.
Hmmm thanks for your advice

[denshachikan]

Most (if not all) of the time, if there are zero sexual contact in an exclusive relationship, you can expect sex to be lousy after marriage. I am not implying that penetrative sex is an absolute necessity before marriage, but if there are zero intimate contact (e.g. petting, BJ, painting, etc) I will never consider marrying the girl.

If you want to buy a car you also will test drive it, even if you dont actually drive it, you probably will at least want to have a look at the specs, sit inside see if the seats are comfy or spacious! Not asking you to test drive different cars each weekend, but if you cannot even see or touch the car before buying, then better not commit yourself into such a lifetime contract. Look for someone else, you will eventually meet someone whom you can be sure at least of sexual compatibility before marriage.

[AccurateFR]

Originally Posted by ourworld

Not us!

Been together for 8years,,
Married for 3 and have a boy of 17mths old,,
I'm 30 and hubby is 33,,,

We are even more passionate than ever,,,
Except involving a 3rd party,,, eg. Swinging,, 3P,, 4P,,

We basically do every sexual act you can imagine!
CIM,,, COF,, Anus sex,, public sex/expose,, (we love most)
Golden shower,,,

We love each other very much,,,
It's the love that matters,,,
We wake up daily,,, feeling glad that we are sleeping beside each other,,,
When we make love,,, we basically felt that our souls meet,,,
It's beyond physically pleasure,,,

It all depends how much effort the couple put in,,
Sharing our sex life on SBF is another thing that adds on to our fetish
Knowing that we have "fans" and "viewers"
Adds on to my excitement,,,
I got even naughtier and more daring,,,
Creating more excite bed and spicy up our sexual life,,,

I even did striptease in "public" hahaha,,,
That was my most daring move! Hahaha,,,

Everybody,, be it male or female has sexual fetish,,,
Just need to explore and dig it out togeyher with your partner,,
Our thread has been going on since Aug,, and we crossed 3/4 million views,,,

Even with our boy,,,
It never stop us for creating excitement in our sex life!
Always takes 2 to clap!

Mrs Ow

Mrs Ow, thanks, very interesting. From your communication with other couples, and your observations, would you agree that your experience is not typical for married couples? It is more the shining example, the ideal that couples aspire to?

If I had to estimate, for every truly happy married couple I see, there are forty or fifty unhappy ones. Maybe I shouldn't use the word unhappy....more like where the husband is pussywhipped, demasculinized.

I really don't want to end up in that situation. I've had a girlfriend before start out great before (including sexually) and over months start to refuse to do certain things in bed, endless excuses from work stress to headaches. Moving the sex in direction of vanilla quite quickly. So I can just imagine what could happen after marriage or after kids.

Maybe after I mature some more and get tired of sex or wild sex I'll decide it is time for marriage and kids. I wonder when that will happen.

[maylink]

thats why don't have kid is better, after given birth the woman will concentrate on the kids only.

[Rickey]

Originally Posted by maylink

thats why don't have kid is better, after given birth the woman will concentrate on the kids only.

Generally true..less or prolly no sex depending on the cpl concerned...bringing up kids requires a lot of time, effort, energy, worries & work stress etc by which at end of day, wifey feels v. tired n shack ..esp when their kids are in the baby or toddler stage. But once they hv grown up, husband n wife can concentrate on each other again ..but den tat may prolly be a little too late as sexual appetite would hv waned by then as one gets older n older esp for the wifey...Just my 10 cts worth of tots