Tempted to be bad again - A discussion

[tubbyt]

Folks, I have recently been given an opportunity to be bad again and I'm kinda stuck.

A friend of mine has found out that her husband has been cheating on her from before they were married and after marriage it has only gotten worse. I had been lending her a sympathetic ear to listen to her problems and honestly, I had no ill intentions. Things got a little hairy when the guy got a little physical with her. Not criminal, just that he held her and shook her with some strength during an argument.

She has now decided to divorce the guy and has moved out of their home. I was going to offer to put her up at my place but stopped because I am also acquainted with the guy and did not want to invite gossip and misunderstanding. A female friend of her's has put her up.

She had asked me to accompany her to her place to pack her things and also to help her move. She was worried that if she ran into her husband, things might have escalated, plus she needed a coolie to carry stuff. After all the work was done, she offered to buy me dinner as a way of saying thanks.

At dinner we talked some more and the conversation got to a point where she was saying she wanted to be bad and do the things that her husband was doing. It's at this point I got the impression that she wanted to do something with me. Regardless of the reason, whether it's for revenge or that she is just lonely or that she wants to embarrass the guy, I now have a way in. Truthfully, I have found her attractive but I have never thought of her in that way. It has always been mentally stimulating to talk to her and that is the source of the attraction.

I'll be the first to admit that I am no saint. But I will also say that I am not one to take advantage of a woman. Don't get me wrong, I'll shag if given the chance but I do believe that a woman should make a clear-headed choice/decision. Playing on emotions, getting her intoxicated or even lying to her are all no-nos.

So here's the problem.
A woman I find attractive is sending me the signals and I have a good chance of shagging her. But in doing so, I feel that I will be less than honorable in my deeds.On the flip side, there is technically nothing wrong if anything happens. She has served him the divorce papers and moved out of the home, the relationship is over.

What do you guys and gals think I should do?

[LovePotion]

Just go for her, you need to grab her before other does if you are interested in her.

Good Luck

[RealEstateGuy]

Originally Posted by tubbyt

Folks, I have recently been given an opportunity to be bad again and I'm kinda stuck.

A friend of mine has found out that her husband has been cheating on her from before they were married and after marriage it has only gotten worse. I had been lending her a sympathetic ear to listen to her problems and honestly, I had no ill intentions. Things got a little hairy when the guy got a little physical with her. Not criminal, just that he held her and shook her with some strength during an argument.

She has now decided to divorce the guy and has moved out of their home. I was going to offer to put her up at my place but stopped because I am also acquainted with the guy and did not want to invite gossip and misunderstanding. A female friend of her's has put her up.

She had asked me to accompany her to her place to pack her things and also to help her move. She was worried that if she ran into her husband, things might have escalated, plus she needed a coolie to carry stuff. After all the work was done, she offered to buy me dinner as a way of saying thanks.

At dinner we talked some more and the conversation got to a point where she was saying she wanted to be bad and do the things that her husband was doing. It's at this point I got the impression that she wanted to do something with me. Regardless of the reason, whether it's for revenge or that she is just lonely or that she wants to embarrass the guy, I now have a way in. Truthfully, I have found her attractive but I have never thought of her in that way. It has always been mentally stimulating to talk to her and that is the source of the attraction.

I'll be the first to admit that I am no saint. But I will also say that I am not one to take advantage of a woman. Don't get me wrong, I'll shag if given the chance but I do believe that a woman should make a clear-headed choice/decision. Playing on emotions, getting her intoxicated or even lying to her are all no-nos.

So here's the problem.
A woman I find attractive is sending me the signals and I have a good chance of shagging her. But in doing so, I feel that I will be less than honorable in my deeds.On the flip side, there is technically nothing wrong if anything happens. She has served him the divorce papers and moved out of the home, the relationship is over.

What do you guys and gals think I should do?

Are you a man or a woman. GF or male friend? You dun say. She is just using you as a rebound and as revenge to put in front of her husbands face. If you want to be used then go for it. If you are the player that you claim then why need to "shag" this woman?

[goodpartner]

Help them in whatever way you can to mend their marriage
For starter, don't give her more excuses or temptation to proceed with the divorce

[tubbyt]

Originally Posted by RealEstateGuy

Are you a man or a woman. GF or male friend? You dun say. She is just using you as a rebound and as revenge to put in front of her husbands face. If you want to be used then go for it. If you are the player that you claim then why need to "shag" this woman?

Dude, you miss the point.

I do like her and would shag her, But apart from being used, I am thinking that this could be something she may regret in the future. She has been through enough so I find it distasteful to milk the situation.

What I am asking is if I am reading too much into the situation and hesitating when I should be advancing?

Btw, you've quoted my whole post. Kindly enlighten me as to the part that I claimed to be a player? Also, I fail to see your correlation on being a player, as you put it, and having relations with her. Care to clarify?

[tubbyt]

Originally Posted by goodpartner

Help them in whatever way you can to mend their marriage
For starter, don't give her more excuses or temptation to proceed with the divorce

I am in no position to give advice on marriage. Plus, it's not my place. I just listened, the decisions were made by the respective persons.

[SinDellman]

Believe in karma...

[nonpareil]

Since you know the husband you are in the position to advise her.

[Greendevil]

Bro, the reasons why she is sending such signal to you is your assumption, so don't add unnecessary barrier to yourself. However ur concern and worries is fair and just esp it someone you known for long.

I suggest you return her hint in a tasteful manner and letting her you are interested but clearly let her known the consequences as she is going thru a divorce, it best not getting into herself into shit and do not do it out of emotional reason or revenge. if the signal still do come in after that, by all means do what you need to do. The least is you did lay her option to her and it better you get the action then someone else did.

[analog]

Originally Posted by tubbyt

Folks, I have recently been given an opportunity to be bad again and I'm kinda stuck.

A friend of mine has found out that her husband has been cheating on her from before they were married and after marriage it has only gotten worse. I had been lending her a sympathetic ear to listen to her problems and honestly, I had no ill intentions. Things got a little hairy when the guy got a little physical with her. Not criminal, just that he held her and shook her with some strength during an argument.

She has now decided to divorce the guy and has moved out of their home. I was going to offer to put her up at my place but stopped because I am also acquainted with the guy and did not want to invite gossip and misunderstanding. A female friend of her's has put her up.

She had asked me to accompany her to her place to pack her things and also to help her move. She was worried that if she ran into her husband, things might have escalated, plus she needed a coolie to carry stuff. After all the work was done, she offered to buy me dinner as a way of saying thanks.

At dinner we talked some more and the conversation got to a point where she was saying she wanted to be bad and do the things that her husband was doing. It's at this point I got the impression that she wanted to do something with me. Regardless of the reason, whether it's for revenge or that she is just lonely or that she wants to embarrass the guy, I now have a way in. Truthfully, I have found her attractive but I have never thought of her in that way. It has always been mentally stimulating to talk to her and that is the source of the attraction.

I'll be the first to admit that I am no saint. But I will also say that I am not one to take advantage of a woman. Don't get me wrong, I'll shag if given the chance but I do believe that a woman should make a clear-headed choice/decision. Playing on emotions, getting her intoxicated or even lying to her are all no-nos.

So here's the problem.
A woman I find attractive is sending me the signals and I have a good chance of shagging her. But in doing so, I feel that I will be less than honorable in my deeds.On the flip side, there is technically nothing wrong if anything happens. She has served him the divorce papers and moved out of the home, the relationship is over.

What do you guys and gals think I should do?

hey Bro:

Messy, messy, messy my friend.

1. She needs to get to a lawyer NOW and get everything setup. if there was no police report from the shaking incident, it didn't happen under the law so forget it,
2. She should decide if she wants to make a police report from the shaking incident,
3. You, my brohter, have some thinking to do....

Here is the problem, she will be looking at you as a savior and a life line so you have to decide:
1. Do I just want to fuck her silly till i"m tired with her then toss her aside,
2. Do I really want to start something long term here.

If you're in the number 1 camp, proceed.
if you're in the number 2 camp......you should back off on the physical stuff ans just help her with the admin.....and tell her that is what you are doing. Be honest, say you find her attractive and would like to get to konw her better but that physical stuff is probably not wise right now etc.etc... IF your intention is to make something long term with this lady, this strategy will pay HUGE dividends later. If you're just in mode 1 from above, just proceed.

Cheers,
jim

[Xgenre]

Originally Posted by tubbyt

A friend of mine has found out that her husband has been cheating on her from before they were married and after marriage it has only gotten worse. I had been lending her a sympathetic ear to listen to her problems and honestly, I had no ill intentions. Things got a little hairy when the guy got a little physical with her. Not criminal, just that he held her and shook her with some strength during an argument.

At dinner we talked some more and the conversation got to a point where she was saying she wanted to be bad and do the things that her husband was doing. It's at this point I got the impression that she wanted to do something with me. Regardless of the reason, whether it's for revenge or that she is just lonely or that she wants to embarrass the guy, I now have a way in. Truthfully, I have found her attractive but I have never thought of her in that way. It has always been mentally stimulating to talk to her and that is the source of the attraction.

When a husband cheats on a wife, sometimes the wife will question her own feminity. Did hubby cheat because she is no longer attractive? Is she less of a woman now? Those questions compound the hurt of a cheating husband. Especially if the 3rd party (the other girl) isn't pretty or sexy. The ladies may think 'surely I can't be worse than her right? or am i worse than her?'

So one of the ways to reaffirm her feminity is to find a guy to appreciate her for the woman that she is but it does not mean she has to offer sex or show her body. You can help her regain her confidence as a lady by constantly praising her. 'You are so pretty lah, he must be blind to not cherish you. wow, you look very nice today, so nice I can't help stealing glances at you. etc' So as a platonic guy, you can help her regain her confidence without the need for sex.

Of cos, if both parties want sex, it's a different matter. I highlight one point though. If she is out to embarass the other guy, it means whatever you do with her, she has the intention of letting the world know. Given that you are common friends with wife and husband, this could be very bad for you. The husband can just turn around and accuse you of 'helping' his wife to bed her, passing such information to the other common friends of yours. You might lose a lot more friends. Whatever problems there are between a couple, friends tend not to stick into these issues as it's best left resolved between the couple. But if you are in the issue and you are part of the problem, then friends might turn on you for making things worse. Wanna play, got to consider the various scenarios of how things might turn out first.

[Chanelfingers]

Bed her.
If that is wat she wants...

She might somehow thinks it is possible to start a relationship with u...
Pls tell her What you think.

[medicheng]

I think if you are able to handle the emotional baggage I think is ok to carry on by hinting her tastefully as one of the bro here said. Then slowly see where it bring u. But the emotional baggage is not as easy as you think. You might be exposed by her to her hubby that you r her new lover to make him piss off. And it might not be a long term relationship. If guy can play gal, nowadays gal can play guy too. Got what I meant?

It is all up to you.

But if me, and I am single and nothing to lose, I dun mind bonking her out, make her mine, if I like her.

Hope it make you clearer on your future path.

[comm]

Originally Posted by tubbyt

Dude, you miss the point.

I do like her and would shag her, But apart from being used, I am thinking that this could be something she may regret in the future. She has been through enough so I find it distasteful to milk the situation.

What I am asking is if I am reading too much into the situation and hesitating when I should be advancing?

i think first is to be honest with yourself, yes you have the desire to have sex with someone as attractive as her, yes sex with her will feel shoik?

but you also think helping her go through this sad period is more important then ' taking advantage of her lack of judgement when she is down '

maybe she will appreciate it inside her heart, maybe not.

in the end, just go with your conscious lah.

whatever you do, memory cannot erase ! always when we look back at our life, good, bad, regret, proud, happy, sad, its all there.

[bunnyrabbit]

Just be careful that if you bed her and the husband catches you in the act.. or if he have a PI following his wife.. then u be implicated..

If all else clears and the two of you are comfortable.. proceed then