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Originally Posted by johnnywicky

Nothing really sexual here. I'm new here and just finding an avenue to let it out from my heart and I think this would be a proper place. Long post ahead...

we have been married for a few years now and when I first got to know my wife back then, I knew she loved to date with different guys and she was fairly active sexually and enjoyed it. Regardless, I decided to continue seeing her. We were young back then and discovering so I thought it was pretty normal for an individual to meet different people.

As time goes by, our relationship bloomed and we finally got married. However, along the years, while she still treats me well, she was always caught by me for seeing other men behind my back. (Don't get me wrong. Our marriage is a happy one and we enjoy each other alot in bed and we don't fight at all throughout our marriage) And each time, i refused to give up on her as I believed in forgiveness and knew that marriage is not an easy thing and I only want her to be happy.

Instead of going in a rage, I will always reason with her nicely and asked her why she does it. Somehow, each time, I will also confront her lovers nicely. In otherwords, Gentlemen talk. Often, I will just tell them that they were caught and the whole thing was wrong and telling them to stop the affair. I still wonder why I just cannot get angry over it. It was always more of an upset and dissappointment. Life became really hard for me and I struggled mentally as do any husband knowing of their partner's affair.

moving forward another few years, she was caught again with another man and as always I asked her nicely why it happened. Then something strucked me this time and i begin to question myself trying to find a logical reason. Could my wife be just someone who personally needs to have different men even before I knew her? Hence, why she sees different men in her single days? If so, then I could be the reason that is stopping her to be well.... herself - who she is. And that, does not sit well with me as i am preventing her from being happy. In otherwords, I am being unfair.

So, I started to try and change my mindset. Of how I perceive the whole matter. I decided that I married the love of my life, therefore, the best thing I can be for my wife is to at least accept her for who she is and accept that she is not perfect and she is as human as any of us. That, which makes her... perfect.


continued below:

wow. You must really love your wife and so magnanimous too. Well I'm not here to judge you, just hope you will make the wisest decision.