The issues you face are caused by the depression episode you had experienced while young. It is the root cause of your woes. If it is not exorcised from you mind, you can never develop no matter how far you try. That depressive mentality had became a crutch, a comfort zone, to wallow in self pity, that you will always return to whenever you attempt & fail.
No mortal is perfect. Everyone has failed not just once but several times in life. It is failures that made us progress & find success, tampered with moderations, when we acknowledge mistakes made, & corrections done, & to never give up or wallow in self pity.
You will need to see a psychiatrist & have a few counselling sessions with him. He will be able to reach deep into you psyche & find out the root cause of your depression, & give you the correct guidance out of the cage you had locked yourself in.
But he is not a magician. You will need to want to be helped, & participate in the sessions & follow thru the advices, & NEVER ever return back to the cage, no matter how difficult life will be. Many had face FAR WORSE situations than you in life before, but with courage & mental strength, they had survived & thrived. So too can you.
You just need to have
confidence in yourself. Try jogging, as it is simple. Set a short distance, eg-1km. When you achieved it, you can compliment yourself, that what you had set out, you had achieved, then set longer, & longer distances. It will help build up your confidence & mental strength conditioning, starting with baby steps. You have a whole life ahead of you, & full of unlocked potential within you, far more than you don't realize yet. Don't waste it. Life is short. No one owes you anything, nor anyone owes you anything. Only you alone can live your life, no one else. Hurt none, & do not be hurt by anyone, is a golden rule of life.
Or you can try to follow mainstream religion, as it can help you find solace & mental peace. Just start slowly, eg- reading up on religion texts, & no need to join any congregation yet, as you may not be ready for fellowship. Understand the words first, & you will find consolation, & that you are never alone..