Greetings, gentlemen, rokhard, johnsm, and others. I'm fairly new to Singapore and recently discovered this forum. I have some experience with tantric massage from time lived in the US and thought I'd chime in on this discussion. First, let me say that I'm on this forum in search of various modalities of healing massage. I'm primarily interested in juagen, urit batin, manhood massage, tuina-style abdominal massage, traditional massage, as well as tantric massage. So if anyone has recommendations please PM me or post them here.
There seems to be some confusion about what is authentic tantric massage. It is my strong (and educated) opinion that all tantric massage is psuedo-tantra, aka california-style tantra (the history and dissemination of which is far too long to go into here). That's not to say that there is no value, benefit, or pleasure to be had from it. Real tantra is an esoteric school of spiritual practice which requires initiation from a genuine master and of which sexual practices play only a minor part. It takes years of preparation and deals with deep, powerful energies. You probably wouldn't want any part of it if you truly understood what it is.
That said, many of the california-style tantra providers do offer authentic knowledge of practices from genuine tantric traditions. These are basic techniques involving breathing, ejaculation control, sensory awareness, and the cultivation and circulation of sexual energy. It can be very valuable information to have, especially as one ages and sexual vitality begins to wane. I've had tantric massage in the US that was genuinely therapeutic and educational.
To me, california-style tantra's value is as a therapeutic modality. You will confuse yourself greatly if you think of it as a spiritual path or even practice. It's sex therapy, and very good therapy at that. It can help you feel your sexual energy in new ways, can clear psychic and emotional blockages, and can be of great assistance in learning to control ejaculation. I've found that the techniques used and taught by most tantric providers are pretty basic, with only minor variations. They are essentially the same techniques found in books on taoist sexuality -- by mantak chia and stephen chang, for example. What separates the good providers from the mediocre is their comfort level with male sexuality, their sensitivity and refinement of touch, their intuition and desire to heal. Any good masseuse with these qualities can become a good tantric provider with a minimal amount of training. So if you are in search of good tantric massage, my advice is not to worry about how "authentic" it is. Find someone with an adequate amount of training who possesses the aforementioned qualities, and have at it. Enjoy! There is nothing quite like a sensual massage from a kind woman who knows how to touch you just right and guide you in prolonging your pleasure.
A word of advice to rokahard, after reading some of your posts: if you are regularly having extended massage sessions without ejaculation you should be doing exercises to maintain the proper elasticity of your prostate gland. I recommend the deer exercise as taught by stephen chang in the tao of sexuality. It's a very simple yet powerful exercise that anyone can learn to do. Here is a link to a website that gives a basic explanation with instructions:
http://www.healsa.co.za/deerexermen.htm
I hope this post helps to shed light on the subject of tantra. Like I said, if you have recommendations for juagen, urit batin, manhood massage, tuina-style abdominal massage, or tantric massage, please share.