Hi Bros,

Just returned from HCMC. On the flight there was an aussie sitting next to me, and as we chatted, it turned out that we were both staying at the same hotel. So we agreed to meet up and go out pubbing that evening.

However, my distributor called me up to say that he has arranged a meeting with a customer over dinner, so I called up the aussie and told him he'd have to go solo.

The next morning I found him cursing and swearing in such colourful language that would make even the sheep-shearers at the local billabong blush. In between swear words, he told me his story:

He was walking along Hai Ba Trung, when a couple of "ladies" drove up on a motorbike, and offered him sex for 10USD. The "girls" looked pretty, so he agreed. He asked for a threesome, but one of them said she has another appointment. So he got on the bike.

The "girl" he booked took the handlebars, and he sat behind her. The other "girl" sat behind him, explaining that she wanted a short lift. He grabbed the waist of the "girl" in front, while the one on the back grabbed his waist.

On the way the hands of the "girl" in the back were auto-roaming all over him, grabbing his crotch etc, and he was enjoying it. After reaching her destination the "girl" behind got down, waved to him, and disappeared in to the crowd.

When they reached the hotel the "girl" had suggested, they were let in to a room without even paying. The guy behind the counter told him he could pay afterwards.

In the room, he found to his horror that "she" was a lady-boy. He refused it's services and came out. The "thing" came out of the room with him, got on it's motorbike and rode off. He was stopped at the hotel door and asked to pay VND400,000 for the short-term stay. He argued that he was there for only 5 min, but after lengthy arguments, finally relented and decided to pay. When he pulled out his wallet, he was horrified to discover that all his money (abt 2 million VND and AUD 2000) and credit cards were gone.

Luckily, he had his cirrus-linked ATM card in the card holder in the front pocket of his jeans. So he and the hotel cashier took a cab to the HSBC ATM, where he drew out cash to settle the bill.

As he did not even take off his jeans in the room, the aussie thinks that it was the "thing" at the back of the bike who robbed him. He says that even the hotel ppl may be behind it, as he finds it suspicious that they didn't make him pay upfront.

So guys, be careful when sexploring in Vietnam:
1. Not all "girls" are girls. Some are "things". Usually, the viet bike girls will not brazenly approach you and offer sex. Normally, they will just look at you and flash you CFM looks, but you have to make the first move. But if THEY approach you aggressively selling sex, something is wrong - run like hell.
2. Don't accept "sandwich" rides.
3. Always be prepared for the inevitable pickpocket. Don't carry a wallet. Stuff some dong down the front pockets of you jeans. Don't take the credit cards, you won't need them - the WLs don't accept VISA or AMEX yet
4. If you got lucky, be careful when placing your clothes - keep them in a pile in a place where you can see them. Fold the pants in to a bundle, so that the pocket with the cash is inside. Put the shirt over it. Make sure you and the girl shower together, and that she has no chance to be in the room, while you are in the shower. Most girls are honest, but need to watch out for the bad apple.
5. Carry an ATM card with cirrus link for emergencies.