Originally Posted by Charmaine
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Then it all fell apart. Well, sort of.
She found a really, really good job.
What a turnaround. Who would have imagined?
She told me that for the first time in her life, she's doing something meaningful and spectacular, and there's no way she's going to stop now.
I'm happy for her, but that only meant one thing. She didn't want to come to Singapore anymore.
See what you says over here.....!
We started to fight like kids every time we talked to her on the phone. She became busier than me - while I was still able to squeeze in one or two phone calls in the office no matter how busy I was, she's now stuck in meetings with customers all the time. "I call you back ok?" was the normal response. She still picks up her calls every time, of course, and there is absolutely no reason to suspect anything, but she simply became.. too busy for love). She works till late night (sometimes 9 or 10pm), has dinner with her colleagues then go home dead beat. We fought like crazy - I would start demanding that she call me at least twice a day, once at lunch and once at dinner (my fault, I know) and she would say I'm being ridiculous. When she was a G-Club girl, we arguably talked a lot more in the day, but now I never got to hear from her even at night. I became frustrated that I was the one calling her more often than her calling me, and never seemed to understand that this big break was the best thing that ever happened to her this life, and that she needed her space. I helped her get out of the club, but otherwise had nothing to do with this miraculous turnaround. I kept imagining myself to be this "big knight in shining amour" that got her where she was today, so she has to kowtow and bow to my every whim and fancy, but in truth I did nothing. I forgot that outside of the G-Club, she was just a girl. A girl that I disrespected very badly.
I became possessive and demanding, and she told me numerous times that I wasn't helping by "expecting too much". I snapped - I couldn't take the change. I told her that she either decided to come to Singapore soon, or end this relationship. I said that knowing full well that it was a ridiculous ultimatum, and she would never be able to do half as well as a PR here.
She told me that she enjoyed what she does for the first time in her life, is getting a lot out of it, and she doesn't want me to slow her down. if given a choice between her job and me, she would choose to remain in Bangkok. She said she still wanted to have a future with me, but I was "getting more crazy by the day" and she could no longer handle my tantrums and the demands of her job at the same time.
I told her that we should take a break. She said yes. We haven't contacted since.
The story isn't over, but it very nearly is. i don't know what to feel.
On the one hand, I'm absolutely delighted with her new life. On the other, though, our plans, what we've been discussing everyday for ages, never seems like it's going to materialise. Just before we decided to cool it off, she gave me an extremely intense feeling (she has never said this out in the open) that she wants to remain long-term in Bangkok to seek out this new career path and see how far she can go.
I know she misses me. I miss her too, but there isn't much of a future to be considered if she doesn't want to come to Singapore. Me going to live in Bangkok is out of the question (demand for my profession is almost non-existent in Thailand and I have already bought a house here). At the end of the day, maybe it's best for both parties that it ends this way - I managed to pull a decent girl out of a nightclub and indirectly saved her life. Maybe that's all I sought out to do this whole relationship, and now I am done. Sometimes, it's not necessary that you end up with that person to know that you've done something right with her life. That warm fuzzy feeling in your heart - it's something money can't buy.
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