Quote:
Originally Posted by Buikia
So here are the problems:
1)Have some bad debts in the family which can be easily cleared...but afraid of all the up coming debts for the family if i commit.(as with all VN ppl)
2)Intends to bring the kid over if i commit.
3)Lady is too young and wondering if the mentality/feelings would change over time since im a good 10 years older...
So far, no one brought up the issue of ladies having a kid from a previous marriage and how to cope with this or the acceptance issue. My aging parents would probably puke blood knowing of this....Would appreciate any wise words from here....
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bro, here are some advice IMHO
1) Did she REALLY declared all the outstanding debts? As with them, as long as you becomes her pillar of support, the idea of incurring new debts carries little worries for her and her family.
2) Of course end of the day the kid will come to SG. However, being a step father isn't easy. If you dun discipline at young age, he will grow up to give you bigger problems but if you do discipline, how will the child's mother view it since you are not the biological father.
And most importantly, how cock sure are you that it is over between the real father and her ?????
Perhaps some seasoned bros can shares Interesting Stories on this
3) Yes she may be young but that's not the concern here.
You gotta accept the ugly fact that one of the possibilities of her marrying you is that she view the flesh trade as not long term and chooses to be with you for survival reason? Not all for love. Can you accept it?
A vietnamese gal in this trade are very realistic to the core. Maybe in the past they have been all for love but perhaps they have died spiritially since the day her Viet guy walk out of her life leaving the child along.
Sorry for been so negative. Only time will tell her real deal. And you gonna need much time.