Quote:
Originally Posted by yinyang
Bro, don't think you had really meant to carry out yours in 1st place. Good ego trip by winning over her. Take heart she owned up. Well meaning advice from others here, but we are outside looking in. Shd you brave on, be prepared for insecurities, anxieties, creeping doubts in ldtr -more so with her in nocturmal job. I know, seen fellow bros with simlliar situation on their seemingly innocent double life. Also been there and done it (even with my regular OL side dish). Suppressing truth is 2nd nature, more so with ladies of night. What you dunno dun hurt   . |
You're right, yinyang. I wasn't really serious about carrying out my threat. The truth is, I still have feelings for her (although I really want to feel otherwise) but there are just too many obstacles in the way now to have a meaningful relationship with someone who's lied to me before (I know, it's common but I'm just not used to it). I'm not ready to accept somebody else's kid as my own too, although she has also promised me that she will have one more with me together.
I guess I could take it the right way and be thankful that at least she has been honest with me, but you have no idea how hard I had to dig for her to tell me the truth. I am positive that if I haven't had given her ultimatums of any sort she will just continue milking me off for the next half a century. I also find it absurd (maybe it's another cultural thing that I still cannot fully come to grips with) that she should have a boyfriend waiting for her in the wings, for her to observe such impossible promises (she's waited for him for 2 years already) but yet find nothing wrong about fooling around with me. I just find it strange - she claims she loves him but still flirted with me openly (with the blessings of her sister) and even slept with me. Even if she were to end up with me I will feel no sense of security, even when married.
We've talked about getting married (I was only half serious of course. I do like her but I'll never accept her child as my own) and she seems intent on coming to Singapore to settle down but has rejected the notion of work. Are all Thais like that? Not even part-time? Her rationale is that she has seen too many families break down because of double-income earners not having enough time for the family, but there are also serious practical concerns regarding how a family is supposed to survive on one single pay check a month. It doesn't make much sense in this country.
I still think she likes me, but can't help but think that the only reason she chose me is because I represent a better future to her than her current boyfriend. Love has taken a back seat to practical considerations. Yes I do feel fulfilled from an ego-trip point-of-view, but I would have preferred her to choose me because she loves me.