Quote:
Originally Posted by RicochetJuke
I’m 27 this year wife is 26, got a baby this year now 3 months old.
Ever since we got married wife changed and started treating me like a maid in the house. A lot of demands regarding lifestyle and cleanliness, after baby born seldom let let me interact with him because she say I’m not good, cannot learn because I work 6 days work week.
Every day come home get scolded or shouted at, recently become more abusive and violent hitting me. Her father say I cannot hit her back, I am not the type to hit women also, so I just tolerate. Her mother only know how to cause drama between us and always say bad things about me.
Honestly I am not perfect also, one time very long ago she check my phone I got entertain some convos with girls on wechat. Other than that I never did anything else or treat her like shit.
Sometimes I wake up to cook american breakfast for her, I do laundry, iron clothes and general cleaning. From then on she always blackmail me say if I don’t do certain things she will tell everyone about what I did.
My salary not much because of COVID bad times, fresh graduate but I earn about 2k plus take home, I pay rental $1800 every month not much money left. I did not mind paying if it’s a happy family and I sacrifice abit, but I do so much but every day my life at home is hell.
I feel like workplace is becoming like home and home is a workplace. Any advice bros? I know if I get divorce we will lose our BTO that’s still building, lose my son also. After clearing my salary and living from paycheck to paycheck, now she tell me that the money she save is hers only and I cannot depend on her in the future if something happens to me.
Recently I started having depressive thoughts and wanted to take my life a few times, she told me I would not dare to. I am planning to buy a few plans so my son will have some money after I’m gone also.
|
Bro
sorry to tell you this
but i would say the fault is yours as well
Why? all those abusive things and demands she made for you, you didnt stop her. You have to draw a line somewhere, or it'll just keep coming and it will get worse in future. You're not a slave and dont owe her anything.
On divorce, "lose our BTO". i would say you will lose less if you divorce now rather than wait for bto to be completed. If you divorce now, you only get to lose the bto deposit which is 5% of the purchase price. If you divorce later you'll lose 50% of your share of the full bto. Divorce always lead to losses, its a matter about how much you'll lose.
About your kid. Yes everyone have someone they love and unwilling to lose that someone. Dont live just for your kid. You'll look pathetic. Even your kid will consider you pathetic when he grows up. Lead your own life after divorce, support him without being wanting him to stick with you. You'll be looked up upon when your kid grows up. Live for yourself, never for anyone else. Pain of missing someone you love is scary indeed. But you'll do fine after a couple of years. You just have to get through it.
I have come across some similar cases such as yours before. Those who chose to leave their marriage, all ended up happier for such cases. Everything just turns out better for them.