Quote:
Originally Posted by throwawayournam
Hey TS, if I were to play armchair psychologist for a moment - I’m guessing you really just wanna get into a committed relationship. To say in not so nice a way, maybe can say desperate lah. It’s also probably why you feel awful after chionging FL because after the heat of the moment you realise it’s just a quick patch job on what you feel is missing in your life.
No judgment bro, I’ve been there myself. Especially when you see other people getting attached. You can get dates so I’m sure you’ve got decent prospects. If there’s any advice I’d care to dispense it’s to take it slow lah. I found that the so-called ‘desperation’ is obvious to girls and you even notice it yourself when you end up being the bitch in the relationship.
How I got out of it myself was to kind of think of dating as playing poker. Some people get a good hand in the first round even though they’re a shitty player and walk away with big wins. But for other people, maybe even if they’re skilled and have more potential have to play many hands and fold many times. But end of the day, you’re just waiting for that one good hand. But you’ll never get to that good hand if you walk away and chiong FL for life. Ironically, it was only when I decided to stop trying so hard that I actually found a good GF.
TL;DR, chiong FL if you want, don’t be too needy about finding a GF because girls can smell that and it’s a turn off, just keep trying and you’ll get there eventually. Good luck TS
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Absolutely spot on bro, an external point of view is exactly what I needed. I’m somewhat desperate which is true but I try not to show it during online dating but perhaps how girls view me may be a completely different picture as to how I view myself (basically girls may see me as desperate and needy when I think I’m not, so yeah perhaps time to stop trying so hard)
I think what frustrates me is how small my social circle really is. I can’t seem to think of any way to expand my social circle to include more girls in, I’m doing my best like joining gyms and trying out activities but I think it will take some time.
This means that I’m left with online dating which honestly I’m quite sick of already. So much so that I actually deactivated all of my accounts with various sites last night. I think I need a break.
Good to know that what I’m feeling is not unusual or that I’m alone in feeling it.
Thks bro