[jackbl]

Poor children in divided, divorcing families in Vietnam
================================================== =================
Many judges in Vietnam recall their surprise about the behavior of couples in divorce courts when they were committed to equally sharing their assets, from the house itself to pairs of chopsticks, spoons, and buckets, but failed to adequately respect their children.

The cases have tormented the judges for years even though the legal proceedings had been completed, they confessed.

Counting chopsticks to share

There were two reasons urging wives and husbands to equally share their minor assets such as pairs of chopsticks, spoons, and buckets: feeling revengeful at each other or both leading poor lives.

In the 1980s when Vietnam was in economic hardships and life was difficult, wives and husbands in divorce courts often asked judges to share their assets from houses to bowls and pairs of chopsticks, said Truong Van Sang, vice head judge of the provincial court of Tien Giang Province in the Mekong Delta.

Economic troubles greatly affected the behavior of people, especially in courts, he said.

Agreeing with the fact, Nguyen Duy Thanh, head judge of the People’s Court of Hong Ngu Town in the Mekong Delta province of Dong Thap, added that he in person had to arrive at the houses of many couples to check and count their bowls, buckets, pairs of chopsticks to prepare for equal sharing.

Thanh mentioned a couple who came from the central region of Vietnam. The wife and husband had almost nothing, except a small mudded-wall house and simple kitchen appliances.

After sharing bowls, buckets and chopsticks, they asked the judge to share a rice mortar.

Poor children in divorce courts

In a divorce case at a court of District 3 in Ho Chi Minh City, the husband demanded his wife take their two daughters to the court to hear the mistakes their mother had made that caused the divorce.

The husband verbally abused his wife for adultery which he said led to the divorce, according to officials working at the court.

At the court, the wife did not deny that she had not loved her husband and had fallen in love with another man.

Their two daughters, aged around nine and ten, cried their eyes out when witnessing their parents insult each other in front of them.

Soon after, the two children insisted on leaving the court and it was approved by the judge.

What witnesses at the court could see was the fear and crying of the children upon feeling the separation of their beloved parents coming.

It is wrong to say that the wife and husband do not have love for each other at divorce courts, said Ho Trung Hieu, a lawyer who is the former judge of the Ho Chi Minh City People’s Court.

He said he had tried a case in which both wife and husband admitted they still loved each other but insisted on a divorce because they could not forgive their own mistakes.

Arguing with his wife in his drunkenness, the husband abused his wife by saying that, “You are of the sort of restaurant waitresses!” The phrase indirectly refers to her being a kind of prostitute in the Vietnamese language.

Although the husband repented for his mistake, the wife was determined to hold her child and leave his house.

“It is sad for any divorce, but separation resulting from lack of forgiveness is really painful,” said Hieu.

Judge Sang from Tien Giang said he has been obsessed with witnessing a couple separating their own children after a divorce.

After his court ruled the wife and husband to each keep a child, Sang stepped to the upper floor of the court building and saw the two children being held in opposite directions by their parents to show their determination.

The two children cried and bent themselves toward each other, calling out their names in hopelessness.