Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

@Korean, look like they also treat you as xiao san. Anyway so long as you can both get along, who care who is who's xiao san. Just make sure you don't get entangle into the messy spider web will do.

Take Care.

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

indeed I seems to be xiao san too :eek: the 1st lover boht of us is xiao san as both of us are married. the current lover not really as b4 we r in relation she is single. yes agree just simplify the relationship, get rid of the spider web :D

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

I really don't know how I should start....I have been with Sammyboy for many years, reading those forum with interest.

I am in my early 40s, hold a decent job and have stable income. I always find that I am unique in a way especially when it comes to relationship. I like having someone around but not all the time and with the same person. That is why after my divorce, I stay single. I believe not all human are build in pairs, some are born to roam this earth alone. Not sure if there is any bros, sis out there that share this feeling.

I am current switching between 5 FBs, I am not joking....teacher (38), banker (35), graphic artist (40), mother of 2 (divorced) - (54), air-crew (38), KTV hostess (30) etc. All of them knew that I am not those that will settle down because I have been there, done that and I always said it up-front before sex is involve. All of them told me that they are available and single too (not sure how true it is but I have no interest to find out). We enjoy simple company together such as dinner, movies and great sex especially after afew drinks....GUYS at my age...you know what I mean. Secondly, I have 3 others gals that I am close with, no sex but great friends to be around...have knew them for many years...and always around to help out. I am sure I can hit on them but I cherish our friendship more then a simple sexual urge that will tarnish our relationship.

I guess I am spoiled with choices....any bros out there that share similar lifestyle. Pls share, at least I know I am not the only one and I am still normal. I am not proud with what I am doing, trying very hard to change....

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

wow bro you are happening....

I always say 1 woman a lot of trouble, 2 women too much trouble

since I have a wife, a daughter, a female dog and a FB, I have too too much trouble

but you go and have fun bro, life is great when you are living your dream

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

Thanks for your comments. Pls don't get me wrong, I am not bragging as it is pretty meaningless and empty when it become part of your life. It might sound glamorous when you are in your 20s.....but not when you are in 40s and need to visit the toilet every hrs in the middle of the night. :)

I will settle down for one if the day ever come. I was hopping by sharing my experiences others will come forward with theirs. At least I know i am not the only one.

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

think there are a few who have shared that they have fb. including me...but not many are in your class of multiples... lol....

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

Nice sharing bro. I totally understand how you feel. I have had quite a number of flings and fbs along the way while still having a steady gf by my side.

I totally don't feel proud of all these at all. In fact i detest myself and find myself very disgusting. I keep asking myself whether is it because my inner most thoughts are telling me that my gf is not the one (thus the urge to keep "finding") or is it the primal instinct of our kind at work.

I have a few close female friends that I hold dear and could have gotten physical with them but i resisted because i treasure them too much to want to tarnish my friendships with them. I'm not trying to brag but i feel men like us whom could forgo easy & ready sex with a willing female is really at the 最高境界 already.

I feel like I'm at a crossroad now not knowing where and how to move on in this "journey" of mine. 何去何从. I value and appreciate nice ladies too much to want to get physical with them but yet the urge to keep looking and hunting is still there. Sick and tired of this thought and lifestyle but yet can't stop the feeling. I tried concentrating on my work but after a while the feeling comes back and the more successl and money I achieved the easier it is to get lucky in that kind of lifestyle.

I've always known that there will definitely be people like me and you out there and I've been hoping to hear from them on whether they have managed to cross this conflicted stage.

The few of my friends who are in this lifestyle are still happily objectifying women and purely enjoying sex with them but sadly I don't enjoy doing that anymore...

Apologies for the ranting.

Just feel like sharing my thoughts for discussion.

Cheers~

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

Fast forward, towards the end, the sex becomes, like all relationships, same, boring. And you ask yourself why the fuck did you fall in love with someone from that world. And you ask yourself what you had lost, given up, and sacrificed- was it worth it?

Sex is sex, love is love. You want GFE, you can pay for it and get it anywhere. The guys she fucked got what you got too, passion, GFE, etc...might have even got more. Because if she is your gf, she can say she is tired, dont want to swallow, condoms make her painful, so when you fuck her you need to pull up and not shoot in etc...And you have to do more, you think you getting free fuck? You pay with handphone bills, buying her stuff, paying for her food, driving her around...and if you are married, pay with your marriage- when your wife finds out you fucked a WL.

My advice, never "fall" in love http://www.comparateur-mutuelle-assurance-sante.com with a WL, FL, fall in lust- okay. Screw the hell out of her, keep your wallet tight, and dont ever give up on anything.

All relationships are selfish, you want something, so does she. She wouldnt be thinking whether its too much to do this or that, so dont come down hard on yourself to treat her as a FL.

Never fall in love with a FL, WL, ex or not[/QUOTE]

helo!! thank you for the advice and for next time I won't fall in love again!
have a nice day!!

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

Thanks for sharing....at least 2 is better than 1.

I have been single for many years as I do not want to go around hurting those innocent parties. That is why I always made it clear...attraction, companionship and sex (only applicable if both parties are interested). I know myself well enough and certainly knew that these women that I seeing will stop contacting me once they have managed to find someone that they can rely on. Who knows, maybe I am just another FB to them as they are to me. :)

Everyone will feel vulnerable or lonely at some part of their life. The scary part of it is that I am use to the loneliness.

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

lol....already cutting down. I am planning to change my job next year and pursued my interest. This will lead to huge financial cut...which will snow ball to lower disposal income for wine, dine, trips, hotel and rendezvous. Maybe is a blessing in disguise.

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

Sis here.. and i guess i fit the description of a 小三..

Have been together with a married man for close to 6 years now. I met him while i was finding a SD to help me financially. I am not a WL/FL, just needed some funds to kick start my education. At first it was about the financial arrangement and we made that clear to each other. He financed my bachelor's and other courses and also my living expenses. The initial agreement was to last until i completed my studies but 6 years on, we are still together. I have a promising career and he has stopped financing me 3 years ago.

i guess that's when i got 'promoted' to a 小三. it is definitely not easy as we women tend to be emotional and i am very much emotionally invested in this 'relationship'. He did not have any major problems with his wife but merely he was bored and horny as the wife was not interested in sex. I have never encouraged him to part with his wife as i come from a broken family and i understand the horror and stress of a divorce :(

Any other sis out there with a similar situation? would love to chat and share our experiences :p it is not easy to find someone you can talk to about these types of problems as the relationship is supposed to be discreet :(

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

Interesting.

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

Am too a silent reader. My case was a long time female buddy who I knew back in UK. She was not a local here. During the UK times we use to be close to the extend of petting etc but the sex part did not happen.

Over the years, we do met up when she came here or I went over there. I could have done her then and maybe no problem now. My screw up brain just ponder and no action taken further.

I met her last month and she is now married with 2 kids. Over the meet up, she would do things like standing close(in front) of me or her face within inches near mine. When I accidentially brushed her hand, she will indicated we should not be so close! WTF...What signal is she sending me?

Just like to know from you guys' experiences how do I deal with her actions? :confused:

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

Firstly, pls be aware that past and present is very different especially when she is married with 2 kids now. What she does or express in the past towards you might be very different now. Woman and man is very different. Woman can be a teaser but not necessary a pleaser.

Would suggest that you tell her your intention and see what that leads too. Hinting will be a way to go around it. In anyway, always respect the decision she made....might not be what you wanted but who knows....things will come your way if you waited long enough....most of the time.

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

Hinting her will be next time and dun know when...She is not a local here. She did threw hints before like mention the hotel room was noisy or she want to go for a swim but no swim wear. And the face was damn close to me when talking. But then when accidentally(or intentionally:D) brushes her hand, will will say not to be so close...:confused: Giving me mix signals ..

As mentioned my screw up brain did not done her years ago then was maybe the little head has not much reaction. She was a above average looker but body wise is just okay. Am still wondering how do I deal with her actions? She maybe back soon again in sg...

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

How to hint friend for benefit?

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

I was once a 小三 or sb whatever you call it..And this is my experience...

we met in this forum i responded to a comment made by him in Matters of the heart. Lol. From there on we chatted every single day. We had so much in common from food to art to music to the dark realms of sexual kinks. One day he requested for us to be fbs. I told him iam not interested in fb relationship. Resaon being its not an emotionally rewarding relationship. He is married and i knew there will come a time where i probably will question his feelings for me. But because he is married there will not be any future in this alliance. In the end i probably get hurt because women tend to be ruled by emotions. I said iam perfectly happy being chat buddies.

But he never gave up. One day he made me a preposition. He asked if i can be his Sb. With this relationship based on monetary benefits both parties get their own benefits. We will be like gf-bf without the emotional baggage and the money acts like a divider between us constantly reminding us its a transaction only. And if ever one day he has to leave me at least i leave with a full wallet and he leave with good bedroom memories. His sales pitch won me over. Why not. I get paid to be with someone i have great chemistry with. But what we did not expect is that gradually we fell in love. Had it not for the fact that we made it clear from the beginning its a transactional relationship, we probably would have crossed the line and got more emotionally frustrated.

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

@mintyone,

What happened after you found out what was unexpected. What did he say and what did you say now ? Naturally the SEX part and the intimacy part comes into play sparks will occur and if both of you do not control it, this will happened.

Apparently to both of you money is not everything at this moment. If you are a husband/wife relationship I guess this may be the right opposite.

This is what happened during courtship great sex and intimacy brings two couple together and after marriage, more than often many will see the difference. Some make it lifetime some part way after some time.

What you are feeling now is that you are not trying to enjoy the moment, you are trying to own the moment for yourself. Eventually this will destroy everything between you and him and he and her.

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

Thanks for sharing. Words of wisdom indeed.

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

Lots of juicy stories in this thread.

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

Awesome bro....well said....well said :)

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

Bro where have u been?

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

Let me share a story of mine
I did a FL when i was out hunting during a lonely Saturday night. i am sure most bro do that and there is nothing to be shy about, its just human nature, every1 got their needs.
i feel that doing sex with her is very comfortable as she will give me the gfe that i longed for. so long story short, one fine day she told me she had a special feelings towards me. at first i thought it was just sweet talk from a fl so that she can have more tips during my visits or can secured me as one of her regulars so i just take it as a pinch of salt.
But things started to change. she invited me over to her place to sleep over without wanting any $$ in return so in exchange, i brought her lunch/dinner whenever i come to visit her. almost every night she would video call me to chit chat and i started feeling jealously when she told me things about her and her client like what they did and stuff like that.
so i started really feeling in love with her.. but she told me that she couldnt be in a relationship now as she still need to work to pay off her housing back in her home town. she rejected my help when i offered her that i could pay off her housing.
her visa was over soon enough and she had flew back to her home town. when she was in her home town, she will still keep in contact with me and also carry on out night time video call and we will kiss each other good night before we sleep. i felt for her even deeper now.
recently she came back to sg to start to work again. things wasnt like before anymore. she seldom msg me, she nv kiss me good night and she stop video calling me.
when i told her about this, she just told me that i think too much. its just that she doesnt want to chit chat with others while working. i understand where she is coming from (i was once a client to, so i know how it feels like if the l keep using her phone). but not a single spare time for me? this make me very very confuse.
personally i dun mind her being a fl as she promise me this will be her last time. at least she is using her own will to earn her living. so after all this we could start all over and set the counter back to 0. but i feel that she is already starting to avoid me. it seem like she is closer to me when she is a her home town compared to now when she is at sg.
any advise from bros out there that are caught in this situation like me?

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

Our Boss will advise u on this...And his answer is always standard when cum to feelings wz a WL

The sad thing is, things change, people changed overtime. Especially the attitude. Warm attitude becomes cold overtime, some more you already mentioned clients. There are other better clients out there for her to choose from and have sweet nothings with. Trust me, their personal world is very complicated. You wouldn't want to be in it. Best if you only text her when you want to visit her, and nth else

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

Wise words.. very true.

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

I was a 小三 to my ex colleague (manager above me who is 12 years older than me). We were in a relationship for about 2 years.
Subsequently I was FWB with few other married men. I like it because most married men are afraid of drama and don't give me problems.
It's inevitable but I always end up having feelings for my partners. In the first place im already attracted to them ma or else why would I want to have sex. But most of the time I feel that the men ends up committing even more emotionally to me. But they will never leave their family and I wouldn't want them to also.
Now I'm a sugar baby to a guy. Very nice and easy to please guy.. We meet at a nice hotel, I'll let him do anything he wants and I'll do anything he asks. We always end up talking non stop sharing about our lives and lots of cuddling. I guess it's nice to provide what he's not getting at home. I try not to think about his wife or else it gets weird. Haha.

But being a 小三 or affair partner also screwed me up a little bit. I find guys my age immature and boring, but at the same time after seeing so many "nice guys" cheat, it gives me a little phobia about marriage and relationships. Maybe I haven't found the one yet la. Lol.

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

how much $$ is enough for you? and how long more do you want to continue to be 小三 sleeping behind another woman's back? :)

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

Believe it or not money is not everything. I date guys regardless if they are married or single. But until recently I had always been in long term relationships. No casual or sex with strangers for me. I don't risk it.
As for being a 小三.... The married man is the one who made the commitment so you should be asking how long more does he want to sleep behind his wife's back.
It's cliche but chemistry is more important to me than $$. It's not easy to find someone you click with well, both in and outside of the bed. Someone who can indulge me and willing to play out his fantasies with me. That's like giving away a part of yourself. I value that, morals aside.. :)

Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
 

Cut the crap, how long can such relationship with FL works.Had 2 FL relationships and eventually none works.The FL is into how much money they can milk from u.The sex is great
at first.u can do whatever u want and they will let u.But eventually everuthing.is about money and helping to solve their problems.I gave up and i felt so much better after ending my last relationship recently.Felt a free man.No more rushing around to do stuff for her, worried if she is cheating behind ur back.

If u guys are thinking of starting one,think twice.It is just not worth it at all!