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View Full Version : Probelm here,i find my wifey not attractive 3 weeks into marraige


justwanadoit
25-02-2008, 07:08 AM
recently I went honeymoon in angmo country..... end up having hard on when i see those busty ang mo ladies serving at cafe and supermarkets and on streets instead of reserving my hard on for my wife , i feel damn lousy.

Also i start to feel, only 1 month into marriage, my wifey not attractive anymore , my sex drive when with my wife also draining like to 1 x in 2 weeks. my wifey put on weight, and worse is i discover too late she got scars from enczema days on whole body, which turn me off completely, but i still have sex with her , she wants lights off. So you know...

i mean i confuse now cos sex and love go together but now like separate and very difficult for me

I tempted many times to go FLs, in fact i got went once outta desperation and fustration :(

nacho
25-02-2008, 07:21 AM
One month in marriage and you start to think about FL?

Something is very wrong bro ...... can you think about how to change the situation?

geckoSG
25-02-2008, 07:24 AM
Err... Didn't you know about her physical condition before you got into
marriage? Its very sad to hear this from you. Just one month...

dom01
25-02-2008, 07:48 AM
Well... I do not think there is any turning point. I would say that you have to overcome your barriers and try to make the marriage work.

aczeta76
25-02-2008, 09:07 AM
The problem is in your mind.

If u dun love her then why marry her? If you love her, u will feel the urge for her even if she gains weight.

One month already like that, then after have baby how?

Give it a good hard thought bro and have a chat with her or a shrink

you n me
25-02-2008, 09:19 AM
One month only and 1 sexxion a fortnight ... something is very wrong somewhere, looks like you get turn off from all the weight gain and scars ... solve those ... 1) tell her to loose weight ... 2) Go DR, see how to remove scars, and bros this are all skin deep only ... for a wife its the character and all, no need be the best looker ....

darkafac
25-02-2008, 09:25 AM
personally i think that u shd sit down and discuss wif ur wife.. u still have a long way to go in this marriage.. discuss tgt and see if there is any solution to it..

good luck bro.. hope all things turns well for u :)

GL13
25-02-2008, 09:34 AM
One month nia and discuss with wife, this will be a terrible blow to her ...
Lets not talk about physical appearance, do you love her .... if yes, try to put everything subtly to her ... but I really empathise with you :eek:

gilagila100
25-02-2008, 10:40 AM
Pardon me for being blunt but it seems like this marriage is a mistake ...

Either you are not prepared for such commitments or you didn't know her well enough ...

The question now is "Are you willing to take the extra effort to make things work out ?"

From your posts, I really doubt that you have the maturity to handle a commitment like marriage ... :mad:

fiendish
25-02-2008, 10:50 AM
Agree with bro gila ... this looks like a marriage that was doomed to fail right from the start .. I doubt any of us can help TS now ....

old_yet_horny
25-02-2008, 11:21 AM
Agree with bro gila ... this looks like a marriage that was doomed to fail right from the start .. I doubt any of us can help TS now ....

Relax la Bro... Give TS a chance to work things out...

The way u put it really scare him..


Bro Juswanndoit,


I think u have to change your mindset la...
Yes..Sex is important in a marrigae but not everything. I think you and your Mrs. need more constructive communication and find someother activities besides sex... Like dancing classes or developing a common hobby etc etc...

Just try to work on it before it gets worse...

Try to talk get porofessional help from marriage councilor or consultants..

bochi
25-02-2008, 12:25 PM
Hmm, this is indeed a serious problem, after a few months still ok, 4 weeks and sianz liao ..... hard to please TS you. But I suppose you know better, highly unlikely we can help, can only offer various options which has basically been covered above. But any direct talks now will really make her really unhappy ... 4 weeks nia, got problem ... or should I say unsatisfactory 'product' :eek:

Hellfire79
25-02-2008, 12:46 PM
Bro Juswanndoit,


I think u have to change your mindset la...
Yes..Sex is important in a marrigae but not everything. I think you and your Mrs. need more constructive communication and find someother activities besides sex... Like dancing classes or developing a common hobby etc etc...

Just try to work on it before it gets worse...

Try to talk get porofessional help from marriage councilor or consultants..[/QUOTE]



Agree with what bro say.....


I guess it more of love that bring both of u togather...so that must be some attractive points in her that make u make the decision of marriage.

Try not to think of sex...guess once the communication is all well, you will learn to accept who she is and how she is....

I guess the best way is to appreciate at the perfect inperfection of your wife than to maginifed it...:p

bigass
25-02-2008, 01:02 PM
invest for result. if u tink she is gaining alot of wt and got scarring prob, den get some slim package for her. she is yr wife not yr mistress thus i believe its okay to splurge cash into her. spending on outside just gib u a temp release. back then, u still gonna face her, come on its only a mth, salvage it lah

corvette
25-02-2008, 01:06 PM
Problem lies with TS lah ... this is wife we are talking about, you cant expect the wife to be more chio than WLs (for most)

covenn
25-02-2008, 01:15 PM
for gdness sake, its ur wife u r talkin abt. even if she's really gorgeous now, she still gonna look old 20, 30 yrs fr now. so how? change wife every 10 yrs like changing cars?

colins
25-02-2008, 01:17 PM
hey bro justwanadoit, I think you might have this feeling about you 'finding your wife not attractive', instead of saying 'she is not attractive' anymore. I mean, how much can her exterior change in 4 weeks? Not as much as your feelings for her, I guess.

Have you asked yourself that if you have discovered her external shortcomings before your marriage to her, would you have proceeded to marry her?

Personally, I think as long as she doesn't have shortcomings to a level of disability, love and sex can co-exist but love takes precedent. Without loving each other, there is no purpose in sex. That is marriage.

Frankly, I'll bet that everyone has hard-ons for girls other than our gfs or wives, so that makes it more or less normal. But the difference is in the moment we take our eyes off the 'other girls' and come to our gfs and wives, do we feel proud or do we turn away in disgust.

The heart of the matter is if we turn away, ask yourself why. Is it because of her scars hidden in her body or she is putting on weight. If so, then the problem is not with them, its with us (well unless she has truly disgusting habits or behaviour, but thats another story).

Not meaning to compare with commercial sex or any WL with our gfs and wives, do we reject the WL/FL if we spot scars or a beer tummy? No, its the excitment and freshness that we want. And I think that is what missing in your life right now. You may be taking sex and love with sex as precedent.

I know this is sounding like a churchman speech about the greatest of love and blessed marriage, but come on, none of us listens such meaningless crap until we're put to a test. I've been in such situation before, ex-wife and ex-gfs. Its damn tough cos you know sex drive is something you can't control or summon at will.

My advice is, let the feeling sink in for a while. Its only 3 weeks, you are still adjusting. If you are a FL lover, then you'll take a while more. If you seek freshness, then you will discover what you do with your wife that you can never do with a FL. Other than that, a little self reflection is in order. You need to love her the way you love yourself, I mean, you wouldn't mind your own scars or tummy. She want lights off because she is not confident in her body, not because she dun like your body. So please dun hiam her while she is self conscious and you're clearly not.

Hope it helps bro, pardon me if it offends you in any way.

FL Dome
25-02-2008, 01:21 PM
I donno whether I should laugh or what .. unbelievable ... the only time I think this can happen is if TS have another ger .... donno which to marry then marry wrong one .... but bcos of skin condition and size ... wah, the wife must have eaten quite a bit past 4 weeks to have balloon ... or amybe mistaken liao, it is pregnancy ..

chai1020
25-02-2008, 02:10 PM
Bro TS i feel dat the problem actually lies in u n not ur wife...u r sick of her just becos she has put on some weight n dat her skin has got some problems...y marry her in the 1st place then?? If u gonna hiam her becos of this small issue den i guess ur marriage wont work out just my 2cts worth wish u all the best n good luck

amteel
25-02-2008, 02:19 PM
Get a cold shower. You married for the wrong reasons.

darrendon
25-02-2008, 03:08 PM
I think you are just trying to find excuses for yourself. Of course guys will feel tempted whenever attractive girls walk pass us or when we see beautiful girls around us. But seeing and feeling tempted is one thing, I personally feel that you shouldn't take your wife as an excuse for you to look for FLs. And needless to say you are only 1 month into marriage. If you have the desire to look for FLs or WLs, regardless of whether your wife is currently attractive to you or not, sooner or later, you will still feel otherwise. It is your own desire.

Since you have married her, you should fulfil your duties as a husband and treat her well and not complaining and take her as an excuse to look for FLs/WLs.

Lester1
25-02-2008, 03:13 PM
recently I went honeymoon in angmo country..... end up having hard on when i see those busty ang mo ladies serving at cafe and supermarkets and on streets instead of reserving my hard on for my wife , i feel damn lousy.

Also i start to feel, only 1 month into marriage, my wifey not attractive anymore , my sex drive when with my wife also draining like to 1 x in 2 weeks. my wifey put on weight, and worse is i discover too late she got scars from enczema days on whole body, which turn me off completely, but i still have sex with her , she wants lights off. So you know...

i mean i confuse now cos sex and love go together but now like separate and very difficult for me

I tempted many times to go FLs, in fact i got went once outta desperation and fustration :(

you have real problem....my advice is dont try fl...else u will compare with her...it will make things worst.jus my 2 cent worth

sammyboyfor
25-02-2008, 03:13 PM
Also i start to feel, only 1 month into marriage, my wifey not attractive anymore , my sex drive when with my wife also draining like to 1 x in 2 weeks. my wifey put on weight, and worse is i discover too late she got scars from enczema days on whole body, which turn me off completely, but i still have sex with her , she wants lights off. So you know...
(

If you think she looks awful now, just wait till she's had a kid or two. She'll look absolutely grotesque!:p

louis2002
25-02-2008, 06:03 PM
So sad.....

Why jump in before looking closely.....

Haizzzzzz.......

tryherout
25-02-2008, 06:12 PM
TS, talk to your wife with sense of love. Do not make her feel she is the lousiest women in the world. For example, "You have put on weight.." "I like you slim" etc

Do try, "...I like the way you ride me, the faster the merrier", "...like to carry you around while we make love.."

Bring out some of past photo and praise her, deliberately browsing them over and over again. Most important- be positive.

Bring her shopping, tell her you like her dress this and that.

Hope this helps, good luck.

too_hot
25-02-2008, 06:26 PM
U should be marrying someone cos she's ur soulmate, not cos she's gorgeous or got big boobs or give good bbbj (all those are just bonus). sex dun last forever so u got to mary the right person cos ppl can get arglee. maybe u very yan dao now but many years later? marriage is (supposed to be) forever. after the initial honeymoon period (ur seem to be much shorter) there must be a strong foundation on which the marriage and relationship is built upon.

I tink u married for the wrong reason. Even if she didn't grow fat and had skin problems (how could u not know dat?) you would still grow distant from her eventually anyway. But if u truly loved her for who she is and not wat she looked like then these "problems" would be nothing more than a minor inconvenience.

Having said all of the above, if using commercial sex can satisfy ur sexual needs (assuming ur problems with her are only sexual) and stay married to her, then i tink by all means as long as u continue treating her well (but u should still perform ur husbandly duties at least once a week/fortnight so as not to arouse suspicion and make sure u dun get caught). I am not saying its right to do but it may be for the "greater good". Btw, i know many gals who put on weight after marraige. Of cos the guys too. Its normal, after married, not so active anymore, etc etc.

I suggest u better be careful not to get her pregnant if possibility of divorce is there. U dun want to complicate matters. And if u really wanna divorce, then do it soon cos the more u drag the worse it becomes and the more unfair to her. Late 30s or even 40s man still consider marrigeable but late 30s ot 40s woman got very little chance unless can find some MILF lover.

Good luck.

mike3329
25-02-2008, 06:35 PM
Marry in haste, regret at leisure....:confused:

People, young or old should not rush into the commitments of a marriage when they are just not 'ready'. The rate of divorces are already so high and yet 'fools' still rush in where angels fear to tread.

Although late, it is still not too late to seek professional counselling before the whole scenario becomes a bigger mess.....say, if the wife should conceive ( sometimes, just one unprotected bonk is enough ). Then, potentially, an innocent child is caught in the middle!

Go seek professional counselling before it is too late.....

Green Dragon
25-02-2008, 08:19 PM
3 weeks into the marriage and only now you find your wife not attrative? What were you thinking? :eek:

Hope you remember the reason why you married her in the first place. Once you remember perhaps you will find your answer.

Best of luck to you bro!

Enzo
25-02-2008, 08:58 PM
when your wife accepted to be married to you, she must have thought "this guy loves me, loves me for who i am despite my scars and didn't hiam me" she must have felt so loved by you.

Deep down she must have felt like your princess.

I honestly hope you actually sit down and ask yourself, what made you marry her in the first place.

justwanadoit
25-02-2008, 11:01 PM
she is a very nice lady , and i do love her but i also a FL man, i feel so bad. like dr jekyll and hyde now inside me. i pray to God let him take our my sexual drive and only reserve for my wife. i pray that i only sex driven by her despite the scars but i know, when it comes after a while, i back to my beastly ways:(

justwanadoit
25-02-2008, 11:06 PM
she is a very nice lady , and i do love her but i also a FL man, i feel so bad. like dr jekyll and hyde now inside me. i pray to God let him take my sexual drive and only reserve for my wife. i pray that i only sex driven by her despite the scars but i know, when it comes after a while, i back to my beastly ways:(

bunnytease
26-02-2008, 03:03 AM
honeymoon?
means ur wife went with u.
she must be feeling darn wet when..
she sees those angmoh with dick(when limp) bigger than urs(when hard).

and definately u dunno the meaning of marrying someone.
you shld go re-think why u said 'i do'.
the vows and all those sweet nothing u said before marriage.
jerks like u dun even deserve to be love.

all the things u said and done goes to show what kind of men you are,
which i dun even think you're man enough to be called a man.
so be glad someone is willing to waste their life with you.

and dun give urself excuse to go to FL.
when u think tt FL is better than ur wife.
ur wife might be thinking her finger is 100x better than ur pathetic dick.

beauty fades and skin grows old.
i sincerly hopes ur wife divorce u. :)
may u have a very sad and lonely ever after.


seems like the puss population is ever increasing,
bunny.

dom01
26-02-2008, 08:15 AM
Now that you have doubts, please sit down and think about it carefully, before you decide.

Having kids would be a wonderful idea to build up the bonding, but do consider if you can overcome her "unattractive" barrier and if you are prepared. Else the kids would suffer too in the long term.

Remember no one is prefect in this world, thus love her for what she is. Even both our left and right hands are totally different. Right?

I guess that in life, you gain some; you lose some. Life is a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get. ;)

Brothers in the forum can give you a lot of different advices, since we come from all walks of life. YOU ultimately have to decide what you want. Whatever decision (right or wrong) you have made in life, you should not look back and dwell on it. It is about sticking to your guns and telling yourself that the decision made at that point of time is correct. Good luck...

apollo13
26-02-2008, 08:23 AM
Not to doubt anything, Bro TS, what you see when you look in the mirror .... Brad Pitt?

Big Sexy
26-02-2008, 08:33 AM
err....can i have her contact number please???
Sorry...but someone has to start asking right???? kee kee :D :D

on a more serious note...here a thought... marriage is not just about having sex ,pretty faces, sexy legs and big boobs....;)

Re: Probelm here,i find my wifey not attractive 3 weeks into marraige

assault
26-02-2008, 08:47 AM
Bro I tried to swat the fly or ant on my screen, but not successful .... :D

On a serious note, agree with you .... marriage is a life long comittment to your partner and not about looks. For looks, better look for WLs. And your partner and yourself will grow old ... and you can still look for WLs ... so whatever it is, please look into yourself and ask yourself what you find attractive in her to make you wanna make you marry her in the first place, is it still there ... or she was a kitten during courtship and now she became a lioness ... most times, questions on relationship can only be answered yourself and nobody can help you ...

old_yet_horny
26-02-2008, 10:24 AM
Hahahaha...

This thread is becoming more and more interesting...
At least something in between sex and relationship which really look into human's perception in marriage and sex...

Bros and Sis of SBF, I suppose Bro TS (Justwannadoit) is in a state of dilemma and he started this thread seeking for help and opinions...

IMO, we should lend him a helping hand to give him sound and pratical advices instead of condeming him...

I guess Bro TS started the topic wrongly by saying thgat his wife is not attractive tohim anymore after 3 weeks of marriage... He should have put it "Having problem making love with wife after 3 weeks of marriage"...

I guess its some kind of chemistry that is lacking between the 2 of them that Bro TS cannot overcome certain barrier when getting sexually aroused... Maybe wife's apperance or behaviour???

Lets be honest... majority of the married men here do have a high possibility of having commercial sex... (discreetly of course) However,that does not means we do not love our wife... Like my case, I gave my OC all within my possible means to satisfy her be it time, financially, sexual desires, moral support and emotion needs... Despite all these, I still myself patronizing HCs, TNs and commercial sex joints.

Reason being that in certain aspect, our partners cannot fulfill us. We could only find or acheive such sense of satisfactory with "professionals". Also the thrill of screwing another stranger of the opposite sex etc etc...(Lets be honest)

I guess there must be a clear line drawn between having sex with FL's and wife... No way we can link and compare the between the 2... End of the day and ultimately, marriage is about spending the rest of our lives together with our partners... not only about sex,sex and sex...

SexKing972
26-02-2008, 10:34 AM
huh . like that also can ?................:rolleyes:

Ronaldo
26-02-2008, 11:12 AM
err....can i have her contact number please???
Sorry...but someone has to start asking right???? kee kee :D


Wahahahahaha.... This is damn funny!!! :D

gilagila100
26-02-2008, 11:39 AM
Hahahaha...

.....

I guess there must be a clear line drawn between having sex with FL's and wife... No way we can link and compare the between the 2... End of the day and ultimately, marriage is about spending the rest of our lives together with our partners... not only about sex,sex and sex...

Totally agree with this senior bro. Although, I have to add, try to tone down the cheonging if possible. Helps fatten the wallet and avoid lotsa other problems as well. :)

TheGreatOne
26-02-2008, 11:47 AM
the pasture is always greener on the other side...

the above quoted applied to all humans and things we have.

you tend to compare yours and others and always find others more appealing, just like our cars.

TS, what you're experiencing is normal but instead of wasting your money test driving other cars which end of the day, still not yours, maybe you might want to consider splurging all those money into 'modifying' your own 'car'?

simitaichi
26-02-2008, 12:26 PM
Haha, yep, the grass is always greener on the other side, but 3 weeks is ridiculously short leh ...

Bro TS, you and your wife been doing it for how many years before you get married .... sometimes if Paktor too long also no good ...

EtherC
26-02-2008, 01:35 PM
This is one of the side effects of whoring, we can become dysfunctional. Sometimes it might be the case of us cheongsters seeing so many beautiful WLs that we are no longer attracted to normal plain girls. TS needs to get it very clear that WLs are a paid FANTASY. Marriage on the other hand is a partnership for life and that's reality. You took a vow to be together with your wife did you not?

gula
26-02-2008, 01:40 PM
Wife, we must always go back to. WLs, fuck and forget ...
Dont equate the 2, WLs whatever affection they have for you or whatever they pamper you, will never last ... it only last as long as the dollar bills remain in your wallet :D

mseveninch
26-02-2008, 03:12 PM
Hi TS, I personally agreed with their views. Sex with OC is a concensious pleasure within the union context of marriaged. Regardless of pysical looks & apperance of OC. Like it or not - it's our's ( man ) choice made & signed on the dotted line.

Me personally facing these problem too after 2 yrs of marriage to my OC. Before she is perfect. She had what it takes to be a model looks. She is wild and kinky and always point out the gorgeous lady / women to me to wash eye whenever we are together strolling down Orchare Rd. She is a sporting type person and not jealous. My OC had B cup size & she know I like to look at boobs & fettish for ladies legs - so she always point out to me to had the fun to wash eyes...he...he...:D

Problem start after 2 yrs of union - she was discover to suffer from bone disease ( oesteopetrosis ) & she had 2 major operation on the hips. The operation fail & end up wheelchair bound for the rest of her life. These is also means - our sexual thing had come to the
end because she can't spread her legs for me to do the deeds.

So bro's , can you imagine how frastrated I am? My OC do feel the same but with my tounge & finger - I bring her to the point of no return. She is satisfied. Sometimes she request for a dildo - I gave in.

As for me - I had strong sexuall needs. OC can only HJ / BBBJ me which is not enough to me. I need a cunt hole for my dick to enjoy.

My OC offered me a divorce petition after 1.5 yrs after the operation which I rejected because I love her so much although she is not physical or sexually appealling to me. I had to take care of her and don't forget that she did not ask to be in these state of life.

To cut story short - OC can't tahan seeing me suffer by going on without any cunt hole to do pilling works for enjoyment and planting my seeds for the next generation.

OC help me & introduced a very very close divorced friend's of her to me. She understand our problems. She come from a respected family and unemployed. She was divorced 2 yrs after marriage because of ex-husband committed roberry & sentence to Changi resort.

We get along well. After 6 mths - we had our first FK. These was done at my home with OC around joining in to have the pleasure.
1 yr later - Me - OC applied approval from court ( the law ) to married her close divorced friend ( AK ) to be 2nd wife and makes babies.

Today - I'm happy with both of them and had a child. On the side...I do fling or cheong whenever code red alert!!!!!!.:D


TS, soory to hijack your thread. I'm just want to share my views with all. We man..............no matter what - do had circumstances for marriage. look at the brighter side...............1) go for the 2nd.....your choices. Me....I go for the 2nd & 3rd. That is 2nd wife and cheong as long I can.:D:p

ramon
26-02-2008, 03:15 PM
I'm not sure if I'm a good example to use in this thread, but the truth is I haven't had sex with my wife for 9 years after my kid is born.

I couldn't cum when we made love but that is not the end to a marriage.

Yes, I go for paid sex regularly in the past and now maybe as I got older my libido is lower and due to heavy workload I would end up paying for sex once or twice a month. Nowadays I don't think much about sex, but more on spending time with my family, enjoying the time with my kid, thinking of stuff that I can buy for my wife, thinking of where to go for holidays and many more thoughts of how to have a happy family.

The fact is that husband and wife will age, they get old, wrinkled, sick and unattractive physically but after all the kids have grown up and have their own lives the person who'll understand you most should be your spouse. Trying to live together under one roof with all the imperfections found in all of us is a journey that require lots of patience, some trade offs and endurance. But the reward is there will be someone by your side when you are at your lowest point and genuine affection when you need it most.

So please make up your mind on what you really want from this marriage.

Mai Hai
26-02-2008, 03:56 PM
Bro, 9 yrs without sexxion with wife. Then your wife didnt ask u where you go to satisfy yourself ....

ramon
26-02-2008, 07:01 PM
Bro, 9 yrs without sexxion with wife. Then your wife didnt ask u where you go to satisfy yourself ....

No, we didn't talk about this and life still goes on. She would have this suspicion but I guess she thinks I would go PCC when in the showers and she wouldn't know that I usually go for my firing during office hours and I don't get sms from women unless it's about work.

old_yet_horny
26-02-2008, 07:04 PM
No, we didn't talk about this and life still goes on. She would have this suspicion but I guess she thinks I would go PCC when in the showers and she wouldn't know that I usually go for my firing during office hours and I don't get sms from women unless it's about work.

Bro... Pardon me for being KPO...

Just to check is it because of the "tighness" is not there or because of some pyschological barrier???

Seriously...Not trying to be funny here but just in case my OC give birth and I face the same problem, I can seek help..

Pls advice..

ramon
26-02-2008, 07:26 PM
Bro... Pardon me for being KPO...

Just to check is it because of the "tighness" is not there or because of some pyschological barrier???

Seriously...Not trying to be funny here but just in case my OC give birth and I face the same problem, I can seek help..

Pls advice..

You know, when you started cheonging at a young age and you surf a
lot of porn it would be difficult to find a wife that has got the looks and attributes that you lust for or can fulfill your fantasies.

My wife is from a strict religious background and do not want to indulge in BJ or other sorts of sexual positions which I was used to, so luckily for me sex is not one of the criteria to her for a blessed marriage life.

There are many ways to make your wife happy. If you listen hard enough to what she says and take note to follow up on that then you'll be fine, but if she needs to be serviced then you'll have to do that lor, even if you may not enjoy it.

Davy Jones
26-02-2008, 10:15 PM
You know, when you started cheonging at a young age and you surf a
lot of porn it would be difficult to find a wife that has got the looks and attributes that you lust for or can fulfill your fantasies.


Luckily I started cheonging late but surf alot of porn at an early age. Wait a minute! Maybe that is why I am still single! :eek:

Naaaaaah attractiveness is all subjective. After all we marry for the love of our live not for the best sex. ;)

jackjack__1
27-02-2008, 01:15 AM
most imptly,you really have to think through the whole marriage.
considering the factors

1. you can live without your wife
2. you cannot stand it anymore
3. you will not regret a decision for seperation
4. whats the reason you marry her? was it impulsive decision?
5. what are the drawbacks if you were to get a divorce with her? what are the drawbacks if you do not get a divorce with her?

add a few more critical questions before drawing a conclusion.. my advice is that if you responded negatively to the few questions you came up with, its honestly time for a divorce. short term pain better than long term pain... unless you willing to be miserable to make the ppl arnd you happy.. cheers:)

old_yet_horny
27-02-2008, 08:45 AM
You know, when you started cheonging at a young age and you surf a
lot of porn it would be difficult to find a wife that has got the looks and attributes that you lust for or can fulfill your fantasies.

My wife is from a strict religious background and do not want to indulge in BJ or other sorts of sexual positions which I was used to, so luckily for me sex is not one of the criteria to her for a blessed marriage life.

There are many ways to make your wife happy. If you listen hard enough to what she says and take note to follow up on that then you'll be fine, but if she needs to be serviced then you'll have to do that lor, even if you may not enjoy it.

Ok Bro...


Got it.

Thanks for your advice and enlightenment...

invidia
27-02-2008, 09:45 AM
You know, when you started cheonging at a young age and you surf a
lot of porn it would be difficult to find a wife that has got the looks and attributes that you lust for or can fulfill your fantasies.

My wife is from a strict religious background and do not want to indulge in BJ or other sorts of sexual positions which I was used to, so luckily for me sex is not one of the criteria to her for a blessed marriage life.


Bro agree with you, cannot expect wife to be lookwise the quality of WLs. For WLs, their looks and shape are their selling point. And if we look like Aaaron Kwok, Brad Pitt .. we dont have to look for WLs liao ... so really we cant demand too much from OC in terms of looks. They are there to help our spiritual development ... :D

justwanadoit
27-02-2008, 11:20 AM
honeymoon?
means ur wife went with u.
she must be feeling darn wet when..
she sees those angmoh with dick(when limp) bigger than urs(when hard).

and definately u dunno the meaning of marrying someone.
you shld go re-think why u said 'i do'.
the vows and all those sweet nothing u said before marriage.
jerks like u dun even deserve to be love.

all the things u said and done goes to show what kind of men you are,
which i dun even think you're man enough to be called a man.
so be glad someone is willing to waste their life with you.

and dun give urself excuse to go to FL.
when u think tt FL is better than ur wife.
ur wife might be thinking her finger is 100x better than ur pathetic dick.

beauty fades and skin grows old.
i sincerly hopes ur wife divorce u. :)
may u have a very sad and lonely ever after.


seems like the puss population is ever increasing,
bunny.


then i also wish u die pain pain :rolleyes:

i come here for advice knowing what i did i questionable and you 1 hell of S-hole just hop on it and to vent ur freaking fustration after work and start cursing me.

hope ur mother, father and your whole family die:mad:

kedeb
27-02-2008, 11:24 AM
Bro she is chabor she just gioving you her opinion. But cursing people's family in is no no for SBF leh ..

But the problem is 3 weeks into a marriage will definitely appear ridiculous for any samsters ...

Lastly I sincerely hope you can resolve this, as I doubt any of us in SBF can help you ....

blackeagle10
27-02-2008, 11:58 AM
Aiyoh noboby is perfect. We all have our faults but to fault her after the honeymoon period is downright unfair. Eat already now you dun want to buy the product.


Men will grow old too, bald head, shrivelled cock and balls and some even can't get it up. Women will put on weight after child birth, may not be as vigilant with her looks and more auntie-like as they grow older....

So you made the decision to go thru life in sickness and in health so plse see it thru unless she had been screwing around behind yr back..

Midnightiger
27-02-2008, 01:05 PM
Bro justwanadoit,

If it's not too late, speak to your OC and see if both of you can agree to annul your marriage. Like this, both of you can regain your single status.

The way I look at it, no matter how you reconcile now, how much thinking you do, and tell yourself to go through it, or whatever, this matter will creep up on you time and again in the future and when kids are in the picture, it's going to be tough.

Maybe this could be a reason for guys or couples to have premarital sex to prevent such situation? I don't know, just hinking aloud.

Regards

Davy Jones
27-02-2008, 08:30 PM
Me thinks it be too late for him. Once you start asking those questions it surely means something...not good.

Big Sexy
27-02-2008, 09:21 PM
Sorry that you takes that attitude ..

suggesting that he go for nullity because he doesn't find his wife attractive anymore suggest that you are on cunt pills. http://www.sammyboyforum.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif




If it's not too late, speak to your OC and see if both of you can agree to annul your marriage. Like this, both of you can regain your single status.

Deadmaninc
28-02-2008, 07:26 AM
bro,

why did u wanna marry her in the first place? ask yourself that question... if you know, good... work towards that.. if not, then i think you are in deep shit...

Deadmaninc
28-02-2008, 07:29 AM
Sorry that you takes that attitude ..

suggesting that he go for nullity because he doesn't find his wife attractive anymore suggest that you are on cunt pills. http://www.sammyboyforum.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

bro, i think what midnight say makes sense, why wanna drag the marriage if there's no love in it? why wanna drag any further? dun understand why would people wanna TRY to maintain a marriage even when there's no love, paper or no paper is never the issue, coz once there's a problem, it will always be there and never disappear...

Big Sexy
28-02-2008, 09:07 AM
i am not against divorce/separation.....i reckon about 30-40% of marriages end in divorce, so it's something that needs to be faced up to and made as painless as possible. Far better to divorce and go your separate ways, than remain locked into a loveless marriage (which is what many Catholics would advocate)

but the thread starter did not mention anything to suggest that he does not love his wife anymore. he merely stated that he finds his wife not attractive anymore... Does that warrant a separation as suggested by midnight tiger?
Our view changes as we aged

no wonder i have got so much more work to do these days.. ;)


dun understand why would people wanna TRY to maintain a marriage even when there's no love, paper or no paper is never the issue, coz once there's a problem, it will always be there and never disappear...

fever
28-02-2008, 09:18 AM
The problem is whatever marriage it is, any problems, we need to try resolve through a counsellor first. It is not just dont love so divorce. We never know what the problem is, only a bystander can really see the pic. Some times it can be resolved ....

In this case, it seems obvious the main problems is fat and scars .... :eek: no mention of love .. just mere outlook

emaza30
28-02-2008, 11:02 AM
Phy can be change using money, but is that what you are after??
Look for the thing that tie both of you together. at the same time, also spent some $$ to change her outlook. Let be rea, day in day out look at her like that also will die cxck stand.:p

too_hot
28-02-2008, 01:31 PM
Someone once told me, there is no such thing as love. Wat ppl tink is love is actually 2 ppl who AT THAT TIME are able to mutually fulfil each others' needs. Once one party's needs change or loses his/her ability to fulfil the other person's needs, then the relationship gets into trouble as the "symbiotic" starts to unravel. If the other party does not or unable to change to adapt to these changes, breakup becomes eminent.

This seems to be what is happening here. TS spouse "lost" her ability to remain attractive to TS. While TS spouse may continue to have other traits which TS values, but ultimately it depends on TS priorities. Wat if, say, she is damn hot and sexy but a real bitch and very demanding. Don't do any houswork, go shopping all day with his supp card, etc. Then how?

This kind of thing happened to me before too. Relationship is a contant struggle to maintain, dats why after many years, i now choose not to have one anymore. I find it easier not having to answer to anyone, not having to worry that she might one day change, etc. Yes its wonderful to be in love but by equal mesaure, very painful as well. In the long run, the pain often outlast (& outgrow) the wonder.

Long Hu Men
28-02-2008, 02:07 PM
To maintain a sustainable long term relationship, the most important factor is both parties must be able to give and take. Else if one side always thing they losing end ... liao.

colins
28-02-2008, 04:01 PM
Someone once told me, there is no such thing as love. ... In the long run, the pain often outlast (& outgrow) the wonder.

Bro too_hot, very well said and fully agree with your point of view.

Without pleasure and pain though, its further from having felt being human. Of course, its said in past tense because the realisation of the loss only comes at a later stage of life where it might be a little too late to pursue those we felt is lost to us in this life. Better to love and 'suffer' than not having to love at all.

Killien
28-02-2008, 10:32 PM
It's already pretty much been established that this marriage is a sham. So..
Let's put the outrage, criticism and sincere advice aside for a moment.

What i wanna know is.. Hasn't anyone even wondered how it's remotely possible to not know the girl you married has scars on her body from enczema?

TheGreatOne
29-02-2008, 06:45 PM
in short, marriage is something which lead you to assume she is that one who can fit in the following:

1. Allowing you to bang anytime you fancy without paying.
2. Allowing you to have the final say, be it late night guy's outing hunting for chicks in pub and disco.
3. That you are the one in charge and she got to stay home after work looking after kids and doing the houseworks.
4. Allowing you to have excessive female 'friends' and not allowed to show signs of jealousy.
5. Someone who can be be there to lend a listening ear when you are down and someone who will guai guai stay one corner when you prepare your party suit with some chicks.

Women in another hand might be assuming that you will be:

1. As loving during the courtship days, ie. giving her small surprises, gifts, sending and picking her to and from work (which in fact you were then trying hard to get into her panty)
2. Assuming you would soon submit to her and change your philandering ways once you are binded with signature over dotted line.
3. Spend time lovey dovey with her during weekends for years that follow till you receive CPF payout.
4. Putting her in 1st priority over beer kakis forever.
5. Ready to be her listening ear when she got something to nag about.
2.

Davy Jones
29-02-2008, 09:12 PM
Worst come to worst drink rum...lots of it.

The world looks so much better from the bottom of a glass. Only problem is the hangover. :D

director66
02-03-2008, 09:21 PM
Hi TS,

I get the feeling that you don't really want to salvage this marriage.
Frankly speaking, 3 weeks is too short a time to imagine someone who has tried and exhausted all avenues of help. Esp marriage counselling.
Remember your wife is your own body, the two have become one. Hiam her body is as good as hiaming yourself.
I wonder how you will feel if it's your wife posting in samanthagirlforum,
"Problem here, i find my husband not attractive 3 weeks into marriage".
Remember, what goes around, comes around.
Give yourself some time to think it through, or if not comfortable with counsellors, talk to sensible/mature close friends. They might be able to talk some sense into your heads, both big and little :D

Toyota Honda
03-03-2008, 01:45 PM
I feel sorry for your wife for having you as a husband. And I am not the least sorry for you.

If you are to go for separation or divorce, who do you think will not be disgusted by your reasoning?? Lets not say you only found out about her scars after marriage. If you truly love her, you wouldn't even mind being with her if you had known it before marriage.

If I were the lawyer dealing with your divorce case, I would be damn disgusted with you. Charge you a super bloody high fee while giving your wife free services to get alimony that will make you lose your pants.

Midnightiger
04-03-2008, 03:54 PM
Sorry that you takes that attitude ..

suggesting that he go for nullity because he doesn't find his wife attractive anymore suggest that you are on cunt pills. http://www.sammyboyforum.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif
Well, we can all be "good" simaritans" and tell him to hold on, love is more than sex, and all the craps. The reality is that love doesn't conquers all and if he feels this way about his wife, it's only a matter of time before the marriage breaks down either by the wife finding out or whatever.

I'm sure that it must be a much more enjoyable situation for some when a marriage breaks down with kids, or should I say, more profitable?:rolleyes:

My 2 cents worth.

Shim
04-03-2008, 04:24 PM
Actually, for most problems with marriages, the first attempt should always be an attempt to meet up with a counsellor to see whats wrong, and not file for divorce. I suppose if it is so early, it might be possible to annul the marriage, and start with the slate clean. if thats the case, only TS can ask himself whether he wants to salvaghe the situation or no matter what it is over between them ...