FROM LOVESTRUCK TO DUMBSTRUCK --TNP story on falling in love with PRC

[aczeta76]

Haiz... poor chap. Hope none of us end up like him:rolleyes:

Full Story:

The Electric New Paper, Singapore - The Electric New Paper News (http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/news/story/0,4136,154711,00.html?)
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S'pore man falls for China woman after meeting on plane. He visits her family, says he plans to marry her. She turns out to be married, 'demands $20,000 for house'. When rejected, she accuses him of cheating, rape.
FROM a loving relationship to a bitter break-up to accusations of rape, cheating and cross-border crime.
By Tay Shi'an

28 January 2008
FROM a loving relationship to a bitter break-up to accusations of rape, cheating and cross-border crime.

All it took was a few months for one Singapore man's love affair with a woman from China to go from sweet to downright sour.

It started when Mr Tan, a 38-year-old Singaporean IT consultant, met Ms Chu, 28, a tour guide from China, on a flight last June. We are not using their real names, following a request from him.

After a three-month relationship, they fell out over money.

Now, she has gone to the police here, accusing him of serious crimes. And she is also running an online campaign to smear his name.

She does not give details of his alleged crimes, and he denies all her allegations.

So, is she a woman scorned and seeking revenge, or a woman conned and seeking justice? You decide.

Ms Chu makes her claims on blogs and in an e-mail sent to several newspapers here, including TheNew Paper on Sunday.

Disclosing her full name, e-mail address and handphone number, she said: 'He cheated (me of) my money and raped me. Not just me, another girl was also raped by him.'

In the police report, she alleged that MrTan not only brought Chinese women into Singapore to be prostitutes, he also helped them use fake documents to get them into Singapore schools.

She claimed that he had taken 10,000yuan ($2,000) from her.

And although she made a reference to 'rape' in her report, she did not elaborate on how or when this happened.

A Singapore police spokesman confirmed receiving her report.

Mr Tan claims he is the target of a long-distance smear campaign.

'It's all not true,' he said.

Showing various photographs of them together, he asked: 'How can she accuse me of raping her when we were actually a couple?'

He claimed that when they started seeing each other in Singapore, she did not tell him that she was married.

In a phone interview from her hometown in Chengdu, Ms Chu confirmed that she and Mr Tan had dated for three months.

But she insisted that though she had consented to sex while they were together, he had 'tricked' her into the relationship, hence the accusations of rape.

She said: 'I never thought I would meet this kind of person in such a lawful country.'

She e-mailed The New Paper on Sunday a telephone number in China which she said belonged to the other alleged victim.

However, when we rang, we reached a recorded message saying that the SIM card did not have enough value.

When asked for evidence on the other allegations, Ms Chu admitted she did not have any hard proof.

She said: 'I know right now, it's just 'he said, she said'.

'But it's a matter of principle. He promised to return the money to me. If I really wanted to cheat him of money, I would have inflated the figure to something much higher than $2,000.'

However, Mr Tan claimed she did want much more money.

'She asked me to transfer $20,000 to her to buy a house in China and I refused,' he said.

'And when she couldn't meet her objective, she started to tarnish my reputation.'

Mr Tan, who does freelance work, said he first met her on a plane from Chengdu, on his return from a business trip. She was taking a group of primary school children on a holiday here.

He said: 'She was like a little angel, very easy-going. She was sitting right in front of me. I saw her filling in the boarding cards for so many kids, so I asked if I could help.'

The two chatted and she gave him her contact number in Singapore.

He said that while she was here, they often went to East Coast Park to swim, stroll and eat. She impressed him by being able to speak English and Japanese.

He said: 'She's educated, not like those women in Geylang.'

By the end of one week, he was so smitten that when she invited him to China to visit her, he decided to fly immediately with her to Hong Kong, her next destination.

'People think I'm crazy,' he said. 'I dropped my life and flew to be with her.'

He stayed in China for almost threemonths, to be with her.

He said he did not have to take leave as a freelancer, and he told his family he was going on a business trip.

But he said it was only when they left Hong Kong and arrived in Chengdu that he got the bombshell - MsChu revealed that she was married.

He said: 'I was stunned. I thought, I wasted my time and my money. But she told me she was getting a divorce, so I stayed on.'

Ms Chu confirmed that she had been married at the time, but her relationship with her then-husband was already on the rocks. She claimed she is now divorced.

Mr Tan said he had initially entertained thoughts of settling down with her.

'I wanted to find a girlfriend, get married and have a family,' he said.

The couple travelled to several Chinese cities, and even went on holiday in Vietnam.

He also met her family and friends.

He said: 'If I really raped her, would she still be with me for so long in so many cities and let me hang out with her friends?'

However, he admitted that he did take some money from her. He said that when he had problems with his ATM card, she would pay or hand him money.

But he claimed that he spent almost $20,000 on hotels, air tickets and other expenses. He showed us his passport and more than 10 ATM receipts for cash withdrawn in China, amounting to 24,000yuan ($4,800).

'BURNT'

He said: 'Look how much money I spent there. Why would I need to cheat her?

'I feel 'burnt' too. I spent three months chasing her all over, spent that kind of time and effort and, in the end, what do I get? A big mess.'

He returned to Singapore in October as he had not worked for three months and had no salary.

When he left, he promised her that he would fly back to China to see her earlier this month. He claimed that was when she started pestering him to send her $20,000.

He said: 'My friends told me not to do it. I haven't known her for very long and she wants us to buy a house and stay in China, not here.

'I kept refusing, then she kept calling and bugging me... until I was going to break down.'

So MrTan decided to end the relationship - and that's when she started to demand the $2,000 back.

He said: 'I refused. I told her these were joint expenses. Plus, I spent so much more than her. Who do I claim from?

'How can she say the money she spent is money, and what I spent is not money?'

But Ms Chu insisted that the money was lent to him and he had promised to pay her back.

Mr Tan said the whole experience had left him depressed and disillusioned.

'I'm not scared of a police report, because I didn't do anything wrong,' he said.

'She was so sweet. I never thought it would be like this...'

[hoho99]

Wah if this Prc is really a bitch, then the guy is really damm suay

[Fishcer]

I dun think can say suay....i think its the guy's own fault for being foolish. Only spend 1 week's time with her then decide to go back China with her....crazy.

[Kunotz]

I think all samsters should treat this as a lesson.
Whatever good experiences we have with PRCs ... they can be damn good when they want, and 180 degree turn once relationship go sour and what also can do ... Can you imagine if the man is married .... :eek:

[leeky123]

i fully sympathise with this bro...and i can feel for him...

cos i am also smitten by china mei mei....:(

last nov...went to china to find one WL whom i had known in singapore. But this WL girl never turn up...ended up i stranded there all alone...luckily the next day i call up one girl whom i know from the internet. she is working as a nurse there...and she brought me to sightseeing during those few days.

I am really grateful to this girl...without her...i will feel so helpless. I have never go abroad alone let alone china...:(

Now i am planning my 2nd trip this coming march...i have the intention to settle down with her....she is a very nice girl...i believe she can be a gd wife...but my feeling for her is still not that deep...but feeling can cultivate over time rite?

she also has the intention to be with me..she even willing to give up everything in china to follow me back to sg...

i am so confused now..

[aczeta76]

Me also KC with TT but I know my limits...

Ur case is different since she is not WL so think through carefully...

[leeky123]

ya bro...the fact is she is not a WL..makes me feel guily...i never tell her that last time i went to china was becos of looking for a WL. she comes from a decent family. She is not like those money grabbing women in china.

When i offered to buy her HP...she said her hp is enough for her already. Even though i told her about my family background ( i come from not a rich family) she still willing to stick with me.

i feel guilty now...as even though i treat her as my girl...i still look for WL after i come back from my trip. Throughout the whole trip i had never touched her...let alone holding her hands...i guess becos she is a nice girl thats why i dun wan to hurt her...

i am in a dilemma...i dun know i really love her anot...i feel that i only wan to find someone to settle down with...but i guess love can be cultivated over time rite?

[t123]

i am in a dilemma...i dun know i really love her anot...i feel that i only wan to find someone to settle down with...but i guess love can be cultivated over time rite?

I think you better think carefully, sometimes for the sake of settling you just settle down is not going to help anything. Just be careful. :)

[ramses]

ya bro...the fact is she is not a WL..makes me feel guily...i never tell her that last time i went to china was becos of looking for a WL. she comes from a decent family. She is not like those money grabbing women in china. ?

Please note that most of them will not act as money grabber ... just one handphone doesnt mean anything. And also we Sporean no matter how poor are so much richer than them, just having half a share of your HDB flat and maybe they millionaire liao :eek:

[alanthegreat]

from my own experiences, 99 out of 100 PRCs are cheats. their ultimate objective is $ and/or our citizenship

[Heart Break Kid]

China women 98% is after money regardless whether she is a WL or not and the same applies to the PRC girls based in motherland. If there is a chance to marry a rich man and become a tai tai why not :confused: only 2% willing to stick with poor men they love. And that is true love :D

[bunnyrabbit]

out of 10, 9 will want your money rather than your heart..

dun think the will come all the way to Singapore and find KC right?? aiyo, bros please use big head before use small head lah hor...

[Booker]

Just to check with bros here.. Am always puzzled when there are guys who will actually go to the newspaper to highlight their plight about being cheated by those china ladies. The latest I saw was on Sat, while waiting to get a hair-cut. The news was about this guy got beaten up by the china street-walker whom according to the guy had cheated him of money and stuffs.

I mean who in the right frame of mind will want to have their 'story' made known to everyone. Yes, theres no name or pic but its kind of crazy I feel.

Just wondering whats the rationale in it???

[qw2op]

...i dun know i really love her anot...i feel that i only wan to find someone to settle down with...but i guess love can be cultivated over time rite?

ur danger spot is here ...

[dirtymonk82]

I am a poor guy, became even poorer when i lost all my saving in stock last year. My gf is from PRC. Been together for 2 yrs already. Will she leave me if she find better or richer guy? Maybe yes, maybe no. .....:rolleyes:

[kiko]

Bros: now i like a PRC gal in my office, pls advise?

[GLHunter]

Quote:
Now, she has gone to the police here, accusing him of serious crimes. And she is also running an online campaign to smear his name.

If there was an internet campaign, i supposed there should be more juicy news on the net somewhere.. but i can't seems to find anything.. wondering can see the clear pic of that lady.. :D

[khoon1]

I am a poor guy, became even poorer when i lost all my saving in stock last year. My gf is from PRC. Been together for 2 yrs already. Will she leave me if she find better or richer guy? Maybe yes, maybe no. .....:rolleyes:

Do Not Invest Too Much In Stock , Hope You Find Better Way up .Best Wish For You And Your PRC Lover.;)

[alanthegreat]

Bros: now i like a PRC gal in my office, pls advise?

carry on dating her, or bed her if u may.

the worst thing to happen is to loss trust(love) + loss $$. if u cant win her love, then dont loss ur $. any girl could easily be out to cheat a guy's money (but statiscally PRC is higher). when they come to things like requesting lavish gifts and borrowing $, u have to becareful, otherwise, i think its alright to carry on as usual. but still, dont go deep into it. treat its as a fling until u are very 101% sure.

[uiop]

Haiz... poor chap. Hope none of us end up like him:rolleyes:



He won't be the last one,there are more out there. :p

[aczeta76]

She is not like those money grabbing women in china.

i am in a dilemma...i dun know i really love her anot...i feel that i only wan to find someone to settle down with...but i guess love can be cultivated over time rite?

2 Things...

1. Not all WL are money grabbing type. They may need money for different reasons but some really work hard for their money.. so dun generalize since we dun have the kinda of pressure they face in China with all those people fighting for a job

2. You may love her BUT is it enuff for you to settle down with her and IS IT a blissful thing for her to be in Singapore esp if she can't speak english well. Think for her too.

[leeky123]

2 Things...

1. Not all WL are money grabbing type. They may need money for different reasons but some really work hard for their money.. so dun generalize since we dun have the kinda of pressure they face in China with all those people fighting for a job

2. You may love her BUT is it enuff for you to settle down with her and IS IT a blissful thing for her to be in Singapore esp if she can't speak english well. Think for her too.

ya this is one of her main concern...she afraid she cant find work here...

[Fishcer]

Basically ALL WLs are money grabbing lah. Some may not show it soo obviously, but they all want our money. Who in their right mind would spend soo much money to come over and work in a shameful profession if their aim was not for $$$?? Pls wake up bros.

Some of the PRCs really have problems at home, and need huge sums urgently, while the rest are basically super materialistic, and even though they are comfortable enough back home, they just want more n more $$$ to satisfy they're lust for the high life. Thus, no matter what happens, bottom line to these gals is money, money, money.

I don't deny that there are nice PRCs around, and some of those may really like you as an individual and will start a relationship with you. But bear in mind that these China gals are super attached to their family, and even if initially they may not ask you for any money, but once they spend more time with you and cut down on their earning hours, they will start to feel the burden from their family back at home, and eventually financial assistance will be asked from you. If you are not able to provide them with the $$$, definitely the relationship will start souring, as no matter what, in their hearts, family comes first before love. The gals will probably start going back to work, and you as a bf, are you able to take this?

I personally have gone thru 3 serious relationships with such gals, each lasting 2 years. I have learnt the above the hard way, where i have had my feelings hurt. I count myself lucky that the 3 girls i met were still morally decent, as they did not pressure me or force me into giving them any $$. But eventually i realised that i could never earn enough to help them, or i could never part with soo much cash in a relationship that i could not determine if there was any future, so i had to part with these 3 gals. Tears and heated discussions arose during the break-ups, but i felt that it was better not to waste their time, and my own time. Be fair to those gals too.

[aczeta76]

Agree with you bro fishcer..

What I meant by not money grabbing was in relation to those who are doing it for their families and not to satisfy themselves.

Afterall, how long can they work in this trade. I always tell them this "My salary will likely go up as I move up the ladder but for them, it is down down down as they get older so better plan now."

Even if they are lucky not to get disease, their faith in man also shaken after seeing so may bros "playing" outside hence I treat them more like friends while they are here than objects of desire

[hellwarrior666]

I am a poor guy, became even poorer when i lost all my saving in stock last year. My gf is from PRC. Been together for 2 yrs already. Will she leave me if she find better or richer guy? Maybe yes, maybe no. .....:rolleyes:


Bro,

Sorry to say that but any girl from anywhere esp sg and hk will leave one for a richer guy not only PRC gals!!!!

[GL Hunter]

Why no comments from sammyboyfor about his fav topic? :rolleyes:

[uiop]

Why no comments from sammyboyfor about his fav topic? :rolleyes:

No use, there are so many similar case everyday and he have no time for that. Now i am his new spokesmen :p

[Heart Break Kid]

Why don't we tell the PRC girls these ?

(1)Take home pay only $1,200 a month = 6,000 yuan
(2) No house
(3) No car
(4) No saving

But we got budget for Hotel 81 session :D

[84gunner]

Who in their right mind would spend soo much money to come over and work in a shameful profession if their aim was not for $$$??

heard of 笑贫不笑娼 ？

[Heart Break Kid]

This is a TNP story to recap for those people for fall in love with PRC women.

Wary is the word :D

[cmelater]

Nothing is real one, when one is talking about relationship (with any race/ nationality). Fact is that people grown more pragmatic and more tuned towards money. Its very disheartening, cos' making money already very hard, then somemore have to contend with pragmatic char bo..... Should be like Dongfang Billy, live a meaningful life and do good.

At least, before your last breath, you know you led a life of meaning. For what you cannot have, at least with what you have you made someone's life better and with more hope.

[pakpak2001]

By the end of one week, he was so smitten that when she invited him to China to visit her, he decided to fly

'She was so sweet. I never thought it would be like this...'[/QUOTE]

=====================================
Some Sillyporean asked for it
They never buy kopi for their in Geylang, only when PRC chicks are around
They complain when their wives asked for $50, yet they can buy the latest Nokia for PRC chicks

[Ah Don]

Let me share a TRUE life story that happened to me.

I am married 5 year with this PRC. she work in my ex-company as a operator.
during our courtship, she is very nice. all way out to please me.

I decide to married her.

We had no kids, i got her a citizenship. the next following weeks she want a divorce, saying that she want to be with her lover in china.

scarely. of cause --- bottomline she also demand money from me.

[Heart Break Kid]

Let me share a TRUE life story that happened to me.

I am married 5 year with this PRC. she work in my ex-company as a operator.
during our courtship, she is very nice. all way out to please me.

I decide to married her.

We had no kids, i got her a citizenship. the next following weeks she want a divorce, saying that she want to be with her lover in china.

scarely. of cause --- bottomline she also demand money from me.

Wah lan ..marrying foreign ladies posed bigger risk than locals.

Life is really hard & unpredictable :(

[EtherC]

Singaporean men are hot chai tao commodity for those PRCs eager to leap into the capitalist dream. To a lot of them Singaporeans are not their kin and they can be hostile/jealous deep in their hearts. If they are able to take advantage of you they will. Hypocrisy, flattering, bribing, backstabbing, seemingly rude & aggressive behavior etc is part and parcel of life in many parts of China. Don't be a fool, even our brightest got chopped with Suchow industrial park. There are no piracy laws in China and scant regulation in manufacturing. Competition is much tougher there. A assembly line factory operator can be fired over trivial issues like myopia. Life is hard.

IQ is one thing EQ is even more powerful. Emotions can override logic thats how we get played. Sad to say many Singaporeans have low EQ, especially us Singaporean men. I would not say all PRC are materialistic, but we have to understand that effects of Cultural Revolution and the years of closed door policies have only begun to diminish for them. It takes 1 or 2 generations more to attain a world class living standard. By then perhaps these cases will start to reduce in numbers.

Don't become a passport out of poverty for them and live to regret both financially & emotionally. If you like PRC girls choose one from a well off family who has studied overseas for a long time. Eg Girls from Wenzhou very often hail from rich business families who will marry their daughters off with a huge dowry. Choose wisely. If you happen to fall in love with a less educated and well off PRC lady, work with your friends to test her. Many PRCs out to scam Singaporeans work in close units as well to cover each other. The Singaporean image is not great to the Chinese and many laugh at us. Some PRCs think Singaporeans are stupid,ugly and non conversant. There are PRC forummers who think our SG government is a laughing stock for providing scholarships to foreigners and they plan to use SG as a stepping stone to the US.

Eat or be eaten. To be the tiger or the pig, think about it.

[nohorserun.]

Haiz... poor chap. Hope none of us end up like him:rolleyes:


So, is she a woman scorned and seeking revenge, or a woman conned and seeking justice? You decide.....

In the police report, she alleged that MrTan not only brought Chinese women into Singapore to be prostitutes, he also helped them use fake documents to get them into Singapore schools.

She claimed that he had taken 10,000yuan ($2,000) from her.

And although she made a reference to 'rape' in her report, she did not elaborate on how or when this happened.....

In a phone interview from her hometown in Chengdu, Ms Chu confirmed that she and Mr Tan had dated for three months.

But she insisted that though she had consented to sex while they were together, he had 'tricked' her into the relationship, hence the accusations of rape.

She said: 'I never thought I would meet this kind of person in such a lawful country.'........

'But it's a matter of principle. He promised to return the money to me. If I really wanted to cheat him of money, I would have inflated the figure to something much higher than $2,000.'....

However, he admitted that he did take some money from her. He said that when he had problems with his ATM card, she would pay or hand him money.



actually after looking closely at the report and what she said, there may be truth in what she has said.

I believe there are many hidden truths in this.

Also from what I have read and heard from experienced bros in GL, there are many who bring in PRC themselves even thoug they are not OKT. They will apply for PRC long term social pass and in term take a cut from them every month. Also there is a processing fee that ranges from $1K to 30K. Student pass being one of the highest.

I know one PRC from Fujian was paying like $2K per month to be here. Thats 10K yuan.

I am not saying that this Mr Tan is the OKT but there are such agents or middleman involved in this such blood sucking deals.

However, how come if she is common folk and not exposed like what Mr Tan says she is just a normal lady who just want too extort money, how did she knows about such operations?

There seems to be truth in whats she has revealed. There is much evil schemes out there.

[pakpak2001]

Singaporean men are hot chai tao commodity for those PRCs eager to leap into the capitalist dream.

Eat or be eaten. To be the tiger or the pig, think about it.[/QUOTE]
====================================
Bro, u are right-on these 2 points

One Sillyporean chap got smitten with a Geylang chick
Then went all the way to China to 'bail' her out from her pimp lover, paying SGD10k.

They got married in Sillypore.
Then after only 1 mth, she ran back to her pimp lover!
Tis time she demanded SGD20k for wasting her time in Sillypore!

[A*star]

Haiz.... Guys are so easily sentimental. and girls still say we are not.

[Bangster]

Gong chai taos aplenty it seems.

It's quite appalling to see people from the Land of the Dragon, and birth country of Confucius, resort to underhanded moves and despicable tricks to extort, siphon, cheat money from people here. Bascially a lot of them PRCs have morally degraded to a level out of the normal human spectrum. What happened to the Confucian values they once hold so dear? Nowadays I hear stories of how far these PRCs would go to dig money for themselves.

Has the communist system totally eroded all virtues? Is capitalism the main culprit?

We have heard plenty of stories of local men falling prey to the PRC women, some of whom have even married the local men. My old man has a business friend who married a PRC woman, who in turn bore him a daughter. They are now living in Singapore and man, what a fucking arrogant pair of mother and daughter they are! They must have felt their status is different now, and the mother talks like she is one hell of a wealthy woman(read "bitch") now that she has become part of Singapore society. Virtually bragging non-stop about stuff her husband bought for her, expensive bags that she initially rejected but gave in cos her husband insisted on buying and all the rubbish. Totally devoid of humility, this PRC bitch.

Her little rascal of a daughter, on the other hand, is a true blue example of a "spoilt brat". The little bitch is only like what, 9, 10? and she's beating her mother in the "bitchiness and arrogance" department. No thanks to my old man's friend for spoiling her to the max. She may be a little girl, but she would be bossing over everyone, even though she is a visitor to my parents' house. What the fuck! And the mom lets her be.

When my mom saw that she was unhappy and bored in the company of adults, she being a really nice person to everybody she knows, went to buy ice-cream on a cone for her. Brudders, guess how the little bitch repaid my mom's kindness? She said to my mom when she was given the ice-cream, in a manner that thoroughly showed she thinks she's a princess, "I don't eat this flavour. I dont want." Man if I was around, I would gladly make sure that ball of ice-cream goes into her face and the cone into her asshole.

Totally jaded and severely lacking in manners and morals these PRCs. What the fuck has gone wrong ah? What the fuck has really gone wrong with them??

[EtherC]

Well if you read up on Cultural Revolution you'll understand what happened to the civility. Mao basically wiped religion, intellectuals and culture off the Chinese. Even professionals like doctors had their ancestral homes confiscated. The well off were raided and raped. Many learned men and women were forced to leave China to seek a better life elsewhere. What was left were the few intellectuals who sided with Mao. Basically Mao murdered more people than Hitler with his policies and caused a great famine. He was making use of the peasantry as his mob army and brainwashed many teenagers giving them power as the Red Guard. What do you think was left? A mere shade of the population. And that gave him and the party great power. There was nothing left that could resist.

[beauthaiful]

KC.......is a very funny game. :)