Long Distance relationship.......

[DegenerationX]

Bros, do u think long distance relationship will affect a married couple alot? Just recently my bro-in-law has asked my wife to go over to Shanghai to help out with his business. My wife is quite eager to go over. I kinda quite reluctant about this but on the other hand, it is a good thing that she goes over as she has been indulging in mahjong (i have posted this on another thread). She has promised and even my bro-in-law has assured me that she can spend one month in Shanghai and one month in Singapore, meaning she has to travel between 2 places. Any advice on whether she should go?

[Regular1000]

I think it depends on your wife's personality. If your wife has strong character, then letting her try out the job may do u good. afterall, she'll be back every other month.

For you, you can oso chiong! :D joking la....

[DegenerationX]

I think it depends on your wife's personality. If your wife has strong character, then letting her try out the job may do u good. afterall, she'll be back every other month.

For you, you can oso chiong! :D joking la....

yup. her character is damn strong lor.....

[GD_Paradise]

Your brother in law is Chinese or Singaporean ?

[Marino]

bro, i suggest let her try out 1st. since its your bro-in-law, if cant make it, its also easy to talk to.

[DegenerationX]

Your brother in law is Chinese or Singaporean ?

singaporean

[Niceman]

No need ask, No need think, No need ponder. Pack and go...

[DegenerationX]

No need ask, No need think, No need ponder. Pack and go...
any particular reasons?

[singexpat]

TS, hw come ur BIL can ask ur wife to go suddenly??

[avarice]

Haha bro singexpat, you thinking of the sister in law thread .... :D

Anyway, I think it is a good idea ... maybe she will forget about MJ ... and hopefully not pickup the chinese mj or card game :eek:

[hotdick69]

actually long distance will only affect if your marriage is already not good.

if both of you have a very close relationship and both of u trust each other very well, then it should be a problem. Problem only arises when both of u feelings not strong for each other then when ur all alone u will start to think and wonder. Then u start looking for company outside, which i very common now. Thats y so many married women out there having fun.

Be supportive of her let her try it out, but remember to sit down and have a good talk to her. I hope this helps, it not the distance but the bond u have with her.

just my 2 cents :D

[colins]

Like bro hotdick said, main thing is to be supportive of her decision.

I believe in terms of the marriage, if you think she is better off here and you play a big part in her being better off, you should tell her that you like to keep her here with you. But if she is used to making decisions herself, that probably shows that she know how to be better off herself without too much of your influence, then you might as well be supportive of her.

It is how much of you in her life that is important, because once she goes over, your influence will become less.

Anyway, there are technicalities involved even if she wants to relocate to Shanghai. 8 of out 10 (singaporean) women I met in Shanghai cannot get used to the environment. One even got so slimmed down that further stay will affect her health. Its all mental, but it is not a place easily got used to by women.

Let her try, but make most effort to be there for her. Maybe your relationship with her will even start to improve. For all I ever ponder, life is always changing, change can either be spice or poison but you're the chef!

Take care man.

[cuteguy]

if ur wife is chio...mayb ur bro in law has sth in mind...and since she so keen to go over..i think maybe sth is happening between them...hehehehehe...

[mvhomme]

Not tryiing to be funny or wat.....but have you considered if your wife and BIL may end up doing the unforgivable deed

[Niceman]

Reasons tons and tons...

Lonely and the girls there too sweet..... :)

[desk13]

I'll never ever believe in such stuff as I had been biten once liao

[professional]

I'll never ever believe in such stuff as I had been biten once liao

If you looking for a quick exit to your marriage, encourage her to go!

[ahpaul25]

Be supportive of her let her try it out, but remember to sit down and have a good talk to her. I hope this helps, it not the distance but the bond u have with her.

just my 2 cents :D

What hotdick69 bro mention is TRUE, I myself also invloved in long distance relationship, and here I'm in PRC liao...haha....just be supportive to her lah, that what a guy really need to understand....since her character is strong, the more u bend, the more it will repel.


I'll never ever believe in such stuff as I had been biten once liao

Share yr experience here bro....:)

[SeAHuM]

Bros, do u think long distance relationship will affect a married couple alot? Just recently my bro-in-law has asked my wife to go over to Shanghai to help out with his business. My wife is quite eager to go over. I kinda quite reluctant about this but on the other hand, it is a good thing that she goes over as she has been indulging in mahjong (i have posted this on another thread). She has promised and even my bro-in-law has assured me that she can spend one month in Shanghai and one month in Singapore, meaning she has to travel between 2 places. Any advice on whether she should go?

I solved this problem with my gf via phone sex, it works like wonders....

[DegenerationX]

TS, hw come ur BIL can ask ur wife to go suddenly??

well, its not suddenly. my BIL has been asking her to go over for a very long time already, but that time she was too indulge in mahjong, so dun wanna go over. and in fact, i was the one that suggested her to go over in the first place. but i'm worried that the long distance will affect us too much.

[asean]

I suppose you can use this as a test of your relationship. SDince it is your BIL, you can anytime ask her back ... btw this BIL, how is it related, your OC's brother?

[B-ice]

Not tryiing to be funny or wat.....but have you considered if your wife and BIL may end up doing the unforgivable deed

Frankly, depends on what kinda worry u are in ... worry abt her safety ? worry she might elope ? worry she be unfaithful ? But, i feel worrying abt incest with yr B-i-L is groundless la..... there are so many shanghai girl ard to screw.

Come to think of it... if she is on & off in singapore....arnt u more free from nags and can do yr own stuff? :p

[Taoist]

Your brother-in law (i figure its your wife's brother) is asking your wife to go over and help in the business.

I think its good. Just that it will be difficult for you to be apart from your wife.

Once she is settled there, you should go over and see what job you can do too. My 2 cents

[naemlo]

Bros, do u think long distance relationship will affect a married couple alot?


If the period of time is too long then this will cause problem.




She has promised and even my bro-in-law has assured me that she can spend one month in Shanghai and one month in Singapore, meaning she has to travel between 2 places. Any advice on whether she should go?

Shouldn't be a problem. It is better than doing nothing.

[ahpaul25]

well, its not suddenly. my BIL has been asking her to go over for a very long time already, but that time she was too indulge in mahjong, so dun wanna go over. and in fact, i was the one that suggested her to go over in the first place. but i'm worried that the long distance will affect us too much.

Just ask her go over to shanghai now, it getting cold nowsadays, later she will regret and come back singapore...hahaha... can preserve our sperms in this period of time, damn cold....:p, Anyway, it u who started it 1st....

[Deep Blue]

She has promised and even my bro-in-law has assured me that she can spend one month in Shanghai and one month in Singapore, meaning she has to travel between 2 places. Any advice on whether she should go?

Since you had raise this concern, we can assume that you do still love your wife a lot and care for this relationship, remember being apart make the hearts fonder but likewise all relationships require one to put in efforts and nurture it consistently. Being apart for sometime do bring sparks and breathe a new life in a relationship because changes brings in new elements. With her in China working may make her to appreciate you more and also treasures what she has now. Vice versa, it may just grew your desire for her as well.

Look at it on the bright side, there are many couples being away for a long time and yet managed to stay together and be happy too, it all boils down to efforts and commitments. If you are worry about Shanghai guys wooing your wife, I think you may quit worrying. Given the strong character of your wife and the general overall standard of Shanghai guys, I guess they are still no match for you. ;)

if ur wife is chio...mayb ur bro in law has sth in mind...and since she so keen to go over..i think maybe sth is happening between them...hehehehehe...

Are you hinting incest if they are siblings? Guess bros here would appreciate if you keep yourself to yourself if you have nothing constructive to contribute.:cool:

[Steadyman1]

Bros, do u think long distance relationship will affect a married couple alot? ..

Ask yourself these questions
1. Issue with Relationship?
2. Issue with long distance?
3. Issue with Mahjong?

Any combination with issue 1 mean better not unless you want to let go.
Any issue with Mahjong is not a valid reason.
So if good relationship then you may let her try but she must get herself prepare. Likewise for you.

[DegenerationX]

thanks to all the bros for your advice. i guess i would just have to be supportive of her and let her try out in shanghai.

[Derelict]

I have been sitting on the fence regarding this topic but after reading some of the replies I felt I should at lease say my piece since there are too many questions unanswered.

First of all does your brother in law know that she has a habit of playing mahjong and is that the reason he is asking her to join him? Was there a fight with you and your wife that he knows about? Is it a talking point? How is his relationship with you, do you go fishing together?

If it is none of the above than I think there is definately funny about your brother in law. Who in their right mind would want to split a couple in all seriousness. Put yourself in his shoes, would you want to split any of your married relatives apart? If your answer is yes than go for it. I think long distance might just work for you.

If no than I suggest you make a point to find out more. For example the lodging facilities where she will be staying. The working environment, are they all females. Her job scope does it require to be in grp or solo. The working hours like will there be shifts, etc. All of the above are just a few questions that might make or break a relationship if it is duly tested.

Dont get me wrong I personally think a long distance relationship CAN work but it requires commitment and most importantly trust. So long as you are able to accept certain changes in yourself and most importantly her than I think it will work. Just to eleborate, her work might require her to attend to phone calls at any time even while she is in Singapore it could be work related or friends, so long as you are not suspicious than I guess its all cool. She could start wearing cloth that might be a lil 'different' from her usual. Character change due to fatigue or maybe her newly acquired confidence. From housewife to a working lass can really change a person. If you can accept those minor or major changes like i pointed out above than you are good to go.

Long distance relationship between courting couple before marriage and after marriage are not the same.

My two cents worth :)

[singexpat]

well, its not suddenly. my BIL has been asking her to go over for a very long time already, but that time she was too indulge in mahjong, so dun wanna go over. and in fact, i was the one that suggested her to go over in the first place. but i'm worried that the long distance will affect us too much.

i c..

well, if u had suggested her to go in e first place, its kinda weird for u to back out nw..

MJ veri subjective, she can play here.. n i tink in shanghai oso hav..
but exchange rate favourable to u rite?:D

nwadays communication veri easy, can use skype, webcam etc..

i was in long distance relationship few yrs back wif my then gf, nw OC...
n i was in Laos, even worse situation due to high internet fees wif 256k dialup, bad n ex phone lines..
onli come back evry 3-4 mths for 1 week..

so ur situation is rather managable, time to try webcam sex perhaps?:D

n oso, absence makes e heart fonder..

cheers!

[F Off]

I think bro TS, you must at least have some confidence in her, encourage her to go ... absence may make the heart grow fonder ... maybe you end up giving up cheonging :eek: