is SEX before marriage essential?

[pornstar]

just wana know what are the views of bro here regarding about having SEX before marriage...

as for myself i guess is a must :D

here is y ==> Here is the link for the file you uploaded:
http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=download&ufid=D3469E3C63034A2E

[BatistaSG]

This a very subjective question as it depends on individual but I would say that it's quite a common thing in our society these days.

[upcoming idol]

i guess nowadays most ppl will have sex 1st before marriage.. now is 2006 leh

[imor_hut]

any virgins here?:D

[JaViEr84]

not essential jus say an understanding btw both parties.now seldom ppl control that mmoment of passion.its natural for both parties to have sex as they reach a certain stage of emotion level.the onli prevention is not spend the time alone when there is no 1 to keep them in check.tats my view.

[fatone]

The act of lovemaking aka sex is very essential to any healthy marriage. Make sure your potential partner is compatible in this aspect with you, otherwise next 40 years damn hard to bear. My suggestion is to take overseas trips with him/her before making/accepting or even planning any proposal to find out if both enjoy yourselves sexually. If everything else is compatible but sex is not good, it will cause major stress long term.

[alba]

The act of lovemaking aka sex is very essential to any healthy marriage. Make sure your potential partner is compatible in this aspect with you, otherwise next 40 years damn hard to bear. My suggestion is to take overseas trips with him/her before making/accepting or even planning any proposal to find out if both enjoy yourselves sexually. If everything else is compatible but sex is not good, it will cause major stress long term.

Truely agreed with you on this aspect, brother.

[Gixer]

Wah lau! Buy car never test drive ah? Sekali not good fit, or handling no good, how? Sure must try one. In fact its my hobby to test drive cars. :D

[wow69]

The act of lovemaking aka sex is very essential to any healthy marriage. Make sure your potential partner is compatible in this aspect with you, otherwise next 40 years damn hard to bear. My suggestion is to take overseas trips with him/her before making/accepting or even planning any proposal to find out if both enjoy yourselves sexually. If everything else is compatible but sex is not good, it will cause major stress long term.Totally agreed with you. In our society, although not many people can accept the idea of cohabit but I really think its a good way to decide whether your partner is one that you wanna live with for the next 40 years or so.

Many divorce cases stems from the facts that the parties cannot accept each other, be it living habits, sex desire, etc... after being married for a while :rolleyes:

But then, nothing is perfect in tis world. So if you have a partner, financee or wife who is pretty, sexy, strong personalities, good in bed and kitchen then you better treasure her .... how I wish I had one myself :p

[SassySammy]

Definitely.. wouldnt wan to realise the incompatibility in the sex aspect after getting married.. that will be too late and might even give rise to infidelity. Though Sex is not the most impt aspect in a relationship, but it helps alot if both parties are like-minded? well, at least that's very impt to me, otherwise sex will just become a routine, quota-based exercise.. :p

[TimeHeal?]

Wah lau! Buy car never test drive ah? Sekali not good fit, or handling no good, how? Sure must try one. In fact its my hobby to test drive cars.
Great example, we share the same hobby ;)

[asdfghjkl]

i don't want to comment on this issue since it's really up to one's discertion. However, I like to point out that this thread is likely to have skewed and biased replies since this is a sex forum after all.

[fatone]

No doubt this is a forum where the open discussion on sexually explicit topics are held; however, the question the threadstarter raised is a valid one, particularly with our more reserved social values about premarital sex and/or cohibitation. I believe it is time for re-examining our values since we need to be more realistic and practical about how we live our lives. SEX is nothing to be embrassed about and I certainly do not see why any couple who are about to commit to a long term relationship have to avoid the topic. They should instead find ways to enhance their sexual experience together; this way is more positive for their relationship.

In a loving relationship where both parties are committed, there is no such thing as bad sex.

[fat29]

As long as both parties are not too demanding on the sexual part and are able to practise self restraint, I think sex before marriage is not a critical component to test the marriage. The measure of the relationship of the man and his wife would be determined by mutual respect, mutual interest and mutual support.

Sex may only play a secondary role and things will flow naturally as long as both can be accomodating to each others' needs and are ready to make up to each other. Just my views.

[stiffness]

I think it is safe to say that anyone who visits SBF will have sex on their minds, fairly often. So I think pple here need to have a certain amount of mutual compatibility in terms of their sex drives, and they need to know this before marriage. Of course, things can change over the years - sex drives can go up and down, but knowing that both are compatible is i think important.

But here's the conundrum - everyone wants a tiger in bed and a good cook in the kitchen, and often in sillypore's context it's not easy to find a woman who can be good on both aspects - a good lover and a good wife. If such women are common, I doubt HC/GL would be as popular as they are, right?

I know a friend, this guy who is one horny guy, not a virgin and had a number of sexual relationships before. Met a church going gal, who insists on no sex before marriage, so the most they'd gone is some petting. Gal gave the impression of being quite a horny woman so he married her. To his disappointment, things after marriage was very different, esp when he finds that the gal didn't have a high sex drive after all. He doesn't want to be unfaithful but it's not easy when satisfaction can't be obtained from home.

Go the another forum - google for "Singapore Brides forum" and look at the Matters of the Heart subforum there. Lots of married couples having sexual problems. It's not uncommon. There are wives who even complained their men do not have a high sex drive like they do...!

[primalhunter]

Some would say its good to test drive the car b4 u buy.... some would say no for all sorts of reasons. My take is, doesn't matter cos things change over the yrs..... for example, my wife was super horny when we started, then came the baby, then no more interest..... so conclusion..... dun waste time thinking about it.... if it is on the table, eat it while its hot..... cos it will cool down while u talk and think..... :D

[XX26]

Yes, Sex before Marriage is Essential. Beside those contributed by bros here on test drive theory, compatibaility etc. Sex before marriage also give you the following 'adventages'

1. Its one of the cheapest form of relationship establishment, can do it at home, no need spend $.

2. It prevent you from fucking around, where you already have somebody there for you. At least you have a reason to
stay faithful in this way.

3. Everybody have sex drive before marriage, it sextisfy each other.

4. Eliminate unpresent surprises after marriage. :)

[webb_chiam]

Yes!!!! 101% Definitely.. caz we are now living in a whole new world wif whole new rules that will brighten up our whole new life in a whole new style. :D

[blackheart]

Honestly, I think sex before marriage, has no bearings on the longevity of a marriage. Ask around all those who has expressed frustrations with the sex in their marriage whether they had sex before marriage and I am sure majority would reply in the positive.

The reason is that over time, performance and expectations changes.

Personally, I would say sex before marriage is more essential in keeping the current relationship going. I don't think many guys would today be dating a girl for 2 to 3 years without having sex. Most probably, he would have dumped her for another one (in general, I would say).

Blackheart

[webb_chiam]

i totally agrees wif bro blackheart's words :D

[laodi123456789]

Many marriages are going perfectly fne even though the partners did not sex before marriage. In the end, sex is only one part of the marriage.

[Superspeed]

Do what you want to do be as safe as possible and be prepared for consequences if there are any. I don't mind sex before marriage but I'm tired of people who come crying to me because they are pregnant and it was a "mistake" or they were too drunk to remember and blah blah blah.

[tomvoyeur]

Sex is essential - before or after marriage. ;)

[Voltz]

Great example, we share the same hobby ;)


bro i have the same hobby too.. but i go a step further.. I race them to extreme limits :D

[asean]

I think nowadays it is not a matter of whether it is essential, maybe even if you dont want, the ger want ... :D so this has become a moot point already .... in no time, sex becomes part of dating, go out date only, will also include sex, not just watch movie or makan ....

[gilagila100]

Whether sex before marriage is essential or not is a very subjective question depending on the couple.

The more important point is to know and understand your other half as much as you can before committing to a marriage.

And if this process includes pre-marital sex then so be it.
Sex should not be the most important or only thing driving a proper relationship but it should not be left out as well.

[old_yet_horny]

Take it naturally...

If it were to happen, it will...


For me, I respect my partner's decision whether she wants to keep it until the big day or she wants it now and then...

I'm flexible.

If I were to rate sex and marriage, I'll rate it based on my personal opinion below...

(Without Kids)

Sex=30% of marriage
Love and respect=70% of marriage


(With Kids)

Sex=10%
Kids=60%
Love and respect=30%

[Mr Platinum]

Not only is SEX essential for a couple before marriage, it would also be good to live together for a period of time. I have seen many marriages break up because the couple cant tolerate each other's living habits.

Hence, not only must you test drive the car, you should drive it for a short peiod of time to find out if it is the right one for you.

:cool:

[aihoannil]

Me married for long liao. But if using current situation, I think must hv sex lah, if not I sure go steal eat one. Got GF, most likely will stick only to her until married for couple of years, then go steal :D

[Hellfire79]

I guess sex is crucial during the start of the relationship...however as the 'excitment' wear off....or rather having more responsibilities such as kids,house and etc......it become a "good to have, not must have" kind of status from our partners liao.

In any case, even how much we 'test drive' also no pt. Just like the car will depreciate and lost it appeal after sometime ma......

I think tt y some of the bro here may own a "car" at home....but still 'test drive' around other "cars"...hehehee:p

[Electro]

I think no hard and fast rule on this. Some may not be bothered. Need it go look for WLs or ONS. Some will think, if dont eat, later breakup, wasted .... :D , so better pop the cherry first ...

[johntan_68]

I know "No Sex BEFORE Marriage is ESSENTIAL". However, I agree with some Bros this is a subjective topic and it depends on individual. Highly unlikely, we are able to find a (Virgin Adam & Eve) anymore, we can still find them BUT, very rare at today's 21st Century. Many boys & girls became loose and bolder trying new things following the Western Culture.

When my wife & I got married. We were both a "V" and it was adventurous & shyness when we were 1st both naked trying different ways and shots. It was pretty tiring and perspiring badly.:p My 1st entry got problem, very wet but VERY TIGHT. The efforts put off my little ones turned softer & tired! Nevertheless it was an exciting experience. Once she kenak eaten by me, she "wants more and we will have wild time on the bed 2-3 times on wkend cos we are both not working." On wkdays, we will do every 2 days. But now after she gave birth in 2006, she losses her % and her male gynae told me, "it will happens to some mothers loosing Sex drive after birth; cld be due to hormone medications or/and internal hormone changes. Advised me to give her some time. Time is running out and I think/ feel am loosing % on SEX with my wife BUT % to try any FL out there or ladies. I am a clean guy, average looking, good career & position, 1.71 & 73kg, average build.

HAHAA....take care bros & sis!:D

[gilagila100]

Using a car analogy:

Own "Car" at home must always spent time and $$$ to maintain.
Provide a nice "garage" or car cover so that no need everyday kena sunshine and rain.
If possible, spend some money to "zng" it abit: change to leather seats, new car kit, turbochargers etc etc ...
But no matter what, must "drive" it every now and then because if dun drive, all "cars" will be gone case sooner or later ...

Test drive is test drive ... If really must test drive then go ahead but dun let others know. You can anyhow drive the "car" go anywhere as long as you dun drive the car home. At the end of the test drive remember to collect your stuff and clean the seat. :p

[<<<SUCHINDA>>>]

Buy car also must test drive right?

[old_yet_horny]

Using a car analogy:

Own "Car" at home must always spent time and $$$ to maintain.
Provide a nice "garage" or car cover so that no need everyday kena sunshine and rain.
If possible, spend some money to "zng" it abit: change to leather seats, new car kit, turbochargers etc etc ...
But no matter what, must "drive" it every now and then because if dun drive, all "cars" will be gone case sooner or later ...

Test drive is test drive ... If really must test drive then go ahead but dun let others know. You can anyhow drive the "car" go anywhere as long as you dun drive the car home. At the end of the test drive remember to collect your stuff and clean the seat. :p


LOL..:D

Almost laugh myself off my chair...

[wang yu]

Yep, the analogy is damn funny.

[nycaloth66]

Yep sex before marriage is essential. Only way to find out if can click sexually, a mistake to marry someone whom you can't mesh sexually with, it will just mean trouble down the road.

In fact i think co-habitation is best. You can even discover each other's worst habits...

[FL Lover]

Really up to individual. Of course, both parties had to be matured and serious enough to take the responisiblites.

I have know some Fxxkers who actually chickened out once they had sex with their wife-to-be.

It is really a matter of yor maturity level and whether you are able to hold the responsiblity after you had sex. In the first place, ask yourself, do you love your wife for what she had done for you or do you love your wife just because of her body?

If you love yor wife for what she had done for you, then by all means, go for sex before marriage. If it is the later one, I feel sorry for your wife to be. She deserved a better man.

[CKee]

Some bro mentioned that it's important to find out sexual compatibility before marriage. Valid point...once had a gf and she's not bad looking, a great personality (the kind that mums adore) and though a virgin then, she had the most foul smelling secretions I have ever come across... during our petting sessions, the smell would just invade your nostrils like supphuric acid and jar the brain. She went to a couple of docs and no one could not find out what's plaguing her. Besides this (and this is bad enough), she has no body odour...this just turned me off completely and though we did not break up because of this hideous smell, can imagine if we got hitched and there's no solution to this problem.

[ramses]

I think essential is not the word to use. How can sex be essential before marriage? It depends on individuals ... some die die must have , some die die dont want. And then there are the in bewteens, if have ok, if no have also ok. Some no have will pester GF to hv, some no hv will not pester GF to hv. So end up this become like a polling question ... to find out what most Samsters think, and of course if you ask samsters, almost all will say, it is ESSENTIAL ...

[5ag1_Boar]

Really depends on your needs. I was not satisfied with the sex with my then GF, but still married her because I thought (a) sex is not that important (or at least I felt shallow to leave her because of sex), and (b) we can work on improving it after wedding. There were other reasons that we were good together.

After, I discovered that she was not open to improving our sex life. I was not even asking for kinky stuff... just 'normal' things like different positions, techniques, etc. After kid was born, she could not reconcile being a mother and a 'sexy-creature' (her own words) at the same time. Also, always too tired. In the 4 years from her pregnancy till our divorce, can count the number of times we had sex on 2 hands.

Anyway, we divorced later for many reasons (not just sex problems though it was one of the issues), mainly communication failure. But before we divorced we went through a church run marriage salvage course, professional counsellors, and read relationship books. All of them said sex is one of the important parts of a marriage.

So now, I'm single and dating again, any potential-future-life-partner must pass the sex compatibility criteria, along with all the other important criteria.

So for me, sex before marriage is important. Good thing is, I'm in mid-30s and I find most women in their 30s are open to pre-marital sex with their significant other.

[Tonghwa]

Sex should be a unity of love rather than just wanting to get laid, it's actually why I feel that a lot of people cannot keep a good relationship going because they are constantly thinking about wanting to get the other person into bed

[Cyberspace Nerd]

So now, I'm single and dating again, any potential-future-life-partner must pass the sex compatibility criteria, along with all the other important criteria.

So for me, sex before marriage is important. Good thing is, I'm in mid-30s and I find most women in their 30s are open to pre-marital sex with their significant other.

Sex is important in a relationship. People who say it's not are just kidding themselves. Not only men think sex is important, women also think likewise.

My current partner hop onto the bed with me after only a few dates. i was kind of surprised and she initiated it too. She told me that sex is hot with me and she cannot stand guys who are inexperience. She is the one who initiates sex most of the time. She is more sexed up than me :eek:

[2634]

Sex is important in a relationship. People who say it's not are just kidding themselves. Not only men think sex is important, women also think likewise.

My current partner hop onto the bed with me after only a few dates. i was kind of surprised and she initiated it too. She told me that sex is hot with me and she cannot stand guys who are inexperience. She is the one who initiates sex most of the time. She is more sexed up than me :eek:

You are lucky to have her as gf....as she initiates the action...cheers.

[Rockweiler]

Think most bros would agree it is really up to individuals ... being guys and a samster I would believe most of us would prefer to have it before marriage. But since this is marriage, it also depends on the ger, if ger really insist no, some may let it be , while steal eat, eagerly waiting for the day to break the cherry ... but society being how it is, nowadays gers also quite freely sleep with BF sooner or later before marriage ....

[basara_evil]

**I don't think many guys would today be dating a girl for 2 to 3 years without having sex. Most probably, he would have dumped her for another one (in general, I would say)**

i was a virgin till i am 28+, and i was NOT proud of it at all...

i had 2 (virgin 17yrs old both) gfs before (one 3 yrs, one 5yrs relationship) both said they will give me when they trust that i really love her and not for her body.
yet after treating them like a goddess, both dump me for another guy
without giving me ONCE!!!

don mistook me.... i DO believe in gals shld protect themselves... and i also have no disagreement with religious ppl (eg. christian) who want to wait till after marriage. it's their belief, their choice in life, and i feel nobody have e right to stop them. coz it is not right to judge other ppl based on e standard one set for oneself.

but... i also feel that, as long as ur gf don give u THAT, it means
she never truely give u all her love. she is just holding back....
also, i do not think it is WRONG for guys to want to have a sexual relationship.
just as gals have the right to protect themselves, guys also have the right
to choose what r/s they want.

my advice is, if one's gf don wan sex before marriage, then move on and find another if u are not prepared to wait. coz time is not something tat can be taken back. u will regret waiting if at the end u get nothing.

just as wat u said... expectation changes over time...
but, i think the problem with most gals is they only tot abt expectation
but totally forgot abt the sexpectation of marriage....

sex is not the MOST important thing in a marriage, however, it IS ONE OF THE MOST important thing tat keep a good marriage.

[Ass Licker]

What do you do when you run into a woman who won't say "I love you" first because she has been burned before by a jerk who was playing her?

[darkafac]

**I don't think many guys would today be dating a girl for 2 to 3 years without having sex. Most probably, he would have dumped her for another one (in general, I would say)**

i was a virgin till i am 28+, and i was NOT proud of it at all...

i had 2 (virgin 17yrs old both) gfs before (one 3 yrs, one 5yrs relationship) both said they will give me when they trust that i really love her and not for her body.
yet after treating them like a goddess, both dump me for another guy
without giving me ONCE!!!

don mistook me.... i DO believe in gals shld protect themselves... and i also have no disagreement with religious ppl (eg. christian) who want to wait till after marriage. it's their belief, their choice in life, and i feel nobody have e right to stop them. coz it is not right to judge other ppl based on e standard one set for oneself.

but... i also feel that, as long as ur gf don give u THAT, it means
she never truely give u all her love. she is just holding back....
also, i do not think it is WRONG for guys to want to have a sexual relationship.
just as gals have the right to protect themselves, guys also have the right
to choose what r/s they want.

my advice is, if one's gf don wan sex before marriage, then move on and find another if u are not prepared to wait. coz time is not something tat can be taken back. u will regret waiting if at the end u get nothing.

just as wat u said... expectation changes over time...
but, i think the problem with most gals is they only tot abt expectation
but totally forgot abt the sexpectation of marriage....

sex is not the MOST important thing in a marriage, however, it IS ONE OF THE MOST important thing tat keep a good marriage.


For me(personally) i dun really agree on what bro basara_evil said in the above sentence:D
for me i have a gf currently and still gg on stable and good. we both made a compromise that we will not have any sexual intercourse before marriage and i can sense that she really love and gave in to me alot..
i have so much faith in her that i even allow her to go clubbing wif his friends(girls+guys) without being afraid that she will like another guy..

some gals have sex with their bfs when they knew less than a week or even have ons.. does that means tt they truly gave the guy all her love??

dun always expect a return in everything that u gave in.. its the sweet and lovely process that kips it going.. if one fine day a guy found a gal who he love alot alot but on the other hand, the gal will only prepare to have sex with him after marriage.. does that mean that they guy should breakup with the gal whom he love alot but didn't have sex with him and find another gal who is willing to have sex with him but he dun really love her??

hmm.. jus my personal thoughts.. please dun zap me.. sry bro basara_evil :)

[Kryptonian]

My answer is no but I don't mind it one bit. ;)

[basara_evil]

For me(personally) i dun really agree on what bro basara_evil said in the above sentence:D
for me i have a gf currently and still gg on stable and good. we both made a compromise that we will not have any sexual intercourse before marriage and i can sense that she really love and gave in to me alot..
i have so much faith in her that i even allow her to go clubbing wif his friends(girls+guys) without being afraid that she will like another guy..

some gals have sex with their bfs when they knew less than a week or even have ons.. does that means tt they truly gave the guy all her love??

dun always expect a return in everything that u gave in.. its the sweet and lovely process that kips it going.. if one fine day a guy found a gal who he love alot alot but on the other hand, the gal will only prepare to have sex with him after marriage.. does that mean that they guy should breakup with the gal whom he love alot but didn't have sex with him and find another gal who is willing to have sex with him but he dun really love her??

hmm.. jus my personal thoughts.. please dun zap me.. sry bro basara_evil :)

hello.... i DID wait for her.... till she dump me. the problem is..... she PROMISE!!! think abt it smart ass. if i only want a gf for sex, will i stay with her for 5 yrs when she NEVER give me? i would had, as u put it, "find another gal who is willing to have sex with me but i dun really love her", right?

it's not EXPECTING returns. i am saying tat, too many gals only look into expectation and forgot tat sexpectation is also impt for a r/s.

fantastic for ur gf tat she found a guy who was willing to wait (just like my ex at tat time). but it is YOUR business tat u wanna wait. just don go crying when she decided to dump u and u regretted waiting for nothing at the end.

you're still too young. when u grow older, u will know wat i mean