Extra marital affairs & infidelity

[john99]

Just wondering why there are so few divorces during the time of our grandparents and even our parents. Their marriages though not perfect at least saw them through to having children and later years enjoy their grandchildren.

For us now, when we get married we often wonder whether we will still be together next year let alone 10 years down the road. Is it because women are financially independent and less tolerant of husbands who stray?? Lately there are women who have extra-marital affairs instead. What are we becoming ; a society of transitional relationships or is the institution of marriage that hard to preserve??

Of the 5 close guy friends I knew 2 are already divorce. One of them had a mistress for the past 3 years and the wife refuse a divorce. What do you think is the root of all these problems?

[Tai_zi21]

What do you think is the root of all these problems?

5 letter word lor!

MONEY!!!!

No $ u think ur friend can have mistress? no $ can allow u to go GL and bonk? can allow u to go JC or even Nite club? can allow u go overseas and bonk?

[sbfpolis]

The yearly divorce rate in Singapore is 1 in every 4 couples.

[Cheri_Popper]

This is the modern world. In the older days, divorcing is taboo and a hush hush word. Those people especially the parents will see it as a disgrace to the family.

During the olden days, the wife is finacially dependent on the hubby for a livihood as they tends to stay at home and look after the house and the kids. This is not the case today.

Many wives are finacially self efficient and there are maids to look after the house and the kids. some of them are even the breadwinners in their family. Therefore the expectation and views of the female species is totally different from that of our parents' era.

[YummyBear]

The number one factor that is causing the number of cases in divorce going is of course...... the number of cases in marriage going up.....:D

[GreenHorny228]

5 letter word lor!

MONEY!!!!

No $ u think ur friend can have mistress? no $ can allow u to go GL and bonk? can allow u to go JC or even Nite club? can allow u go overseas and bonk?

Bro, you are absolutely RIGHT and I agree with you. The root problem is MONEY.

[dalps]

yes yes..it is said..Men wil go astray if they have both TIME and MONEY!!!! once u hv both of this in excess, it's supposedly recipe for trouble!

[sk_33]

Olden days most marriages were arranged marriages - guess women had lower/no expectations. Plus they are financially dependent on the husbands so they put up with alot of the husband's nonsense...

[t123]

I think in a modern day relationship, couples usually have expectations of each other. The norm is sometimes unrealistically high. I used to go after a gal who is just a PA in a marketing firm, but because she rub shoulders with high society socialites, she have a high standard like world record high jump. She treats me like dirt and only call me when she have emotional needs like companionship. Well, when one doesn't falls short of the expectation, the other one will likely stray away.

[sunkiss]

For us now, when we get married we often wonder whether we will still be together next year let alone 10 years down the road.

When one is ready to marry, there shouldn't be any negative thoughts appearing. If in doubts, then you are not ready to commit to your partner and should ask oneself why are you marrying her for? Because a good start is very important. It's not fair to your partner because you have this lingering thought of when is the marriage going to breakdown. Anyway we should not have this thought at all.

Boys are boys. We have weaknesses for new stuffs and like thrills. But always remember, safety comes first because we have our loved ones at home. Have fun.

[Siong2]

Last time when there are problems between couples, they got no choice but endure cos husband needs wife to take care of children and wife needs to feed the house. That's why there used to be a reason call "for the child's sake, no choice"

Now? Both dun need either one if any problem is going to arise. :rolleyes:

And I think last time ppl will point here point there knowing he/ she is divorced.

[floodme]

last time life is much more simpler, people just take it easy..

[poison]

No $ u think ur friend can have mistress?

Why not?? Never read the air stewardess like the karang guni man meh?

Also, maybe the man or woman did not find satisfaction from the one at home. It is more or less standardise, cannot change pattern liao. Outside one is always more thrilling, more choices.

[jng1103]

Marriage? Think TWICE....

台汉代还卡债 女郎报恩下嫁

（台南讯）今年32岁的王姓女子为了50万元（新台币，下同，约2万5000新元）卡债，一月间嫁给认识一 周的台南县民卢姓男子，条件是替她还卡债。

　　男方婚后常把还债事挂在嘴边，王姓女子气得跑回娘家，上周在调解委员会委员劝合下同意返家 。

　　娘家在桃园的王姓女子告诉调解委员，她是为“报恩”才嫁给卢姓男子，两人在法院公证结婚，至今已4个月 ，但是，两人都没有见过彼此父母。

　　35岁的卢姓男子日前向永康市调解委员会声请调解，要求妻子履行同居。他说，他是在1月间经友人介绍认 识南下游玩的王姓女子。两人互有好感，交往大约一周。

　　期间，王姓女子表示喜欢买衣服，欠下近50万元卡债，因失业没有收入，面对银行催债，十分烦恼。卢姓男 子表示很喜欢对方，愿意代为还债，条件是嫁给他。王女一口答应，两人遂前往法院公证，但是还未 办结婚登记。

[Innocence_259]

u MUST protect yourself with a pre-nuptial when get married or else wife take everything

[virginboy926]

i do have phobia, i scare of marriage, because around my surrounding friends. i do have couple of friends, divorce, or wife unfaithful.

hence, i saw some FRs in sammyboy. and understand that girls in Y generation are more "open minded" and daring, they are having this kind of mentality to revenge, by having "an eye for an eye", if they find out we are unfaithful to them.

Then i saw some cases that their wife carry someone's child yet the husband don't know abt it. only the woman's close friend knew. And hide away from the husband.

Seriously, i very worry about myself.

I do travels to countries and station for mths.

sometimes i do have those urge. We are men, so i believe brother know how i feel. i don't think i need to explain much.

bo pian, i got to locate the local channel in whatever country i went to find the source of relief to relieve myself.

but all this is behind my fiancee. =(

sian 1/2.

don't know how to phrase it.

any brother got any golden advice how to overcome this kind of phobia ?

Regards
VB

[jng1103]

any brother got any golden advice how to overcome this kind of phobia ?

Regards
VB

we are in the same boat. If I could, I'd chose NOT to marry or have kids coz I'm happy with my current lifestyle. I believe that SG is the only country in the world that for a couple to buy a decent house aka HDB, they have to be legally married. No choice, must sign the paper for the sake of 'bird cage'.

Recently, my buddy and I had been meeting quite a number of new lady frens (married or attached). To my suprise, 90% of them are 'game' for nite outings with boozes and boobs *lol* as long as we took care of the taps. We even *almost* had 3P but things went wrong in the 11th hours :eek: *lol*. Anyway, the conclusion is pretty obvious that women are no longer an elusive nor exclusive items.

cheerz,
jimbo

[spider_j]

u MUST protect yourself with a pre-nuptial

Any pre-nuptial agreement containing terms that are inconsistent with the provisions of the Womens Charter will not be unenforceable under Sg law. This is a matter of "public interest" and to ensure that the effectiveness of the Womens Charter is not eroded by any private contractual agreements.

Sometimes its a matter of figuring out what is important to you in a marriage and what is not.

Bottom line, you wanna get married, go in with your eyes open and plan (if possible) for the worse. Of course this is a rather cynical view. There are people who have been cheonging for years and are still happily married. There are people who have never cheong in their lives who lead uphappy married lives.

Despite any good advice from friends and relations, the only people who can make marriage work is you and your partner.

This is sooooo not the forum to be dispensing or talking about what makes marriage work!!!

[THExorcist]

To The ThreadStarter And all reading,

the only conclusion i can think of is, nowadays women are not wanting to be as tolerant as before. They see something wrong, feel something is not right, find out something they should not have, they start screaming :" I want Divorce !! "

Who knows, maybe its their moms telling them the age old theory ; you must treat yr man this way, or else you will end up like me !!

I think it all has to start off from the right step, right from the beginning, when one is dating. Come on, how many of us have fell in the trap of " Ok Ok Sorry, I wont do it again !!" I know i have !! It has given the ladies this power of superiority over us man.

The only way out of this marry/divorce ,

1) Dun get married !!
2) Marry liao, Dun F*** around !!
3) Wanna F*** around, Never Get Caught !!

Rememebr, all of us came from SAF, Where we learnt, As long as you are not caught, everything you say is right. Once caught, sneeze also SALA !!

Speaking from experience, my wife had used the old pattern divorce , divorce , divorce , too many freaking times liao. Until 1 fine day, she say divorce , i say OK, when you moving out ?? She freak out. !!!:eek:

After that i told her, Never use the word Divorce, it can have detrimental effects !! It works in a way , Quarrel yes. But never ever the word Divorce.

Just my 2 cents worth !!

[SingViet]

Married life is surely very different from the time when the couple is dating. After marriage, both will see the ugliest part of each other. Its at this time when they must be able to accept and endure. Staying together is not easy, it involves lots of endurance.

Couples decades ago have the idea that `once married, better not divorce' That was also the time when the head of the family, the MAN, holds more power and decides on most matters. Nowadays, ladies hold more power in the family and decides on most matters.

Not being an MCP, but ever since the ladies are `more equal' than man, divorce rates have been rising. Just a little observation :D

[poison]

Speaking from experience, my wife had used the old pattern divorce , divorce , divorce , too many freaking times liao. Until 1 fine day, she say divorce , i say OK, when you moving out ?? She freak out. !!!:eek:

After that i told her, Never use the word Divorce, it can have detrimental effects !! It works in a way , Quarrel yes. But never ever the word Divorce.!!

This one fully agreed............when the real things happen, all freaked out!

[SassySammy]

why should we be tolerant if men dont respect us and fool around behind our backs?? i give my utmost respect to women with high EQ and who can tahan aka close one eye even when they know about their husbands' infidelities.

It's when u r holding a hot babe, then the value of your wife drops. men r horny by nature? i think lots of girls r too, well not exactly horny, but they like to feel desired, special? to conclude, if guys wan to have their share of the forbidden fruit, they shouldnt complain if their wives return the favour.
If yr actions r not conservative, dont have a conservative mindset.

unless u r totally faithful, otherwise dont put these women down, cos it will be totally contradicting, like putting yourself down. If u think what u r doin is right, then respect them.

will surely offend most bros here, but just my 5 dollars worth :D

[Nesferatu]

Sometimes when a women commits adultery is becoz she lacks the love & attention from her bf/hubby.

It takes a lot of thinking & deliberation on the women's part, before she will atcually proceed with the deed. Unlike men, when we have the urge, we just go GL, pay & fuck. But for a women, theyre different. They'll ponder, observe her hubby/bf from afar, more thinking before making that BIG decision whether to open the door of her heart to anyone else.
I tell u that when a women is vunerable, she is very vunerable. They'll be screaming for affection & attention.
I know caused that's what happened to me previously. Is it entirely my fault? She too had a part to play. Do I have regrets? The only way out when youre down is UP.
So guys, esp those whose marriages/relationships on rocks, do pay a wee bit more attention to your loved ones. Its not always about lack of MONEY. If its about money, then be grateful if she dumped u. You can do without these shallow women who jump ship at the 1st sign of trouble.;)

Those who suggested not getting married to stay out of trouble (divorce, kids, maintenance etc etc), ask yourself, is this what u really want? One day we will all grow old & we need to have someone of our own kin to turn to.
Yes, i do agree Sporean women has become more vicious (no thanks to the bias Women's Charter), marry abroad lor. But dont bring them back to Spore!!!


Nes

[dna_gene]

Seriously, I think the main reason for high divorce rate is the high exposure that we have nowadays. Last time grandpa age where got disco, movie, fine dining, pub etc for guys and gals to come together and make the happening happens! Only got pigs sty to hang out at, don't think got gals have such weird preference right?

Even if you are not rich, you are still able to find a gal to have fling with cos sometimes the gals are even more successful than the average workers!

Now furthermore with the mass and wide use of the internet, nothing is stopping adultery to take place at all! The last remaining defence of the will power is also crashed to bits! God has mercy on mankind!

[Dark Magician]

why should we be tolerant if men dont respect us and fool around behind our backs?? i give my utmost respect to women with high EQ and who can tahan aka close one eye even when they know about their husbands' infidelities.

It's when u r holding a hot babe, then the value of your wife drops. men r horny by nature? i think lots of girls r too, well not exactly horny, but they like to feel desired, special? to conclude, if guys wan to have their share of the forbidden fruit, they shouldnt complain if their wives return the favour.
If yr actions r not conservative, dont have a conservative mindset.

unless u r totally faithful, otherwise dont put these women down, cos it will be totally contradicting, like putting yourself down. If u think what u r doin is right, then respect them.

will surely offend most bros here, but just my 5 dollars worth :D

totally agree ..... why women starts 2 flirt ard is bcos of men ..... but theres always a small fraction of ppl who are faithful yet their partners still flirt ard ... utimately .... fooling ard is like playing with a C4 time bomb ... u nv know when it will goes off ....

if it does ... hurting urself is one thing ...... dealing damage to close frds or families is really worst ....

After marriage .... e best thing is to fool n flirt oni with yr own partners ....

[siamcutey]

we are in the same boat. If I could, I'd chose NOT to marry or have kids coz I'm happy with my current lifestyle. I believe that SG is the only country in the world that for a couple to buy a decent house aka HDB, they have to be legally married. No choice, must sign the paper for the sake of 'bird cage'.


cheerz,
jimbo
35 yrs old, u can apply your own for hdb resale.

U do have a choice.:p

SC

[poison]

I tell u that when a women is vunerable, she is very vunerable. They'll be screaming for affection & attention. Nes

That's what most woman wants............affection and attention to their needs if not, another one comes along, that's where the sparks flies.