Single mum acceptable?

[beck7777]

Bros, just like to have your views..

Can u accept a single mum as your gf, given that she was cheated by her ex(or rather the child's father) and her character is good..

She was cheated in a way that her ex was a married man n only till she was pregnant than she realised he was married..

Any bros willing to accept such a lady??

Cheers! :D

[Siong2]

Bros, just like to have your views..

.....

Any bros willing to accept such a lady??

Cheers! :D

Bro, these things are very common nowadays, do what your feeling tells you to.
For me, I will accept if the feeling is right. :p

[Tai_zi21]

Who dun make mistakes before? :cool:

[laozuzhong]

Why not?

Are you looking for someone who is of good character to be your gf or even your wife, or are you looking for someone that you can bring out and showcase?

The most important issue here is whether you really like this girl or not? Do you like her real enough to accept anything that comes along with the love you have for her. In this case, the kid. Have you seen the kid yet? Do you like the kid? Can you accept the kid as yours if you decide to marry this girl eventually?

Before anyone of you tell me dun talk too much, giving advise or talk talk only very easy.

I'm telling you all these because my gf is a divocee with 2 kids. We have a very fantastic relationship between the kids and the 2 of us. We are getting married next Jan.

What I'm trying to say is that single mothers are acceptable in today's society. It is ultimately up to individual whether can they accept the kids, not so much the mother. Can you take the "side talks" from the older generations? If you can take it or can ignore it, then you will be fine.

The choice is yours. ;)

[beck7777]

Why not?


I'm telling you all these because my gf is a divocee with 2 kids. We have a very fantastic relationship between the kids and the 2 of us. We are getting married next Jan.

What I'm trying to say is that single mothers are acceptable in today's society. It is ultimately up to individual whether can they accept the kids, not so much the mother. Can you take the "side talks" from the older generations? If you can take it or can ignore it, then you will be fine.

The choice is yours. ;)

yo bro sound advice from u.. but your family got any problem with her?
i mean afterall she got 2 kids liao..

[Prolink]

YES, I WILL....
Bros, just like to have your views..

Can u accept a single mum as your gf, given that she was cheated by her ex(or rather the child's father) and her character is good..

She was cheated in a way that her ex was a married man n only till she was pregnant than she realised he was married..

Any bros willing to accept such a lady??

Cheers! :D

[zhivago]

no problem to me either...

Itz very common nowadays, and i love MiLF... :D

[vernonlcm]

If you really love her. Dun care what other people say. Love her must love her kids too. Can you prepare to accept that? If yes, go for it otherwise please reconsider. Be fair to yourself, to her and to her kids too. This is the things you need to overcome. You must make sure that in event after you have your own kid with her, you still got to be fair to her other kids cos they are innocent. What other people might say is secondary issue already.

[laozuzhong]

yo bro sound advice from u.. but your family got any problem with her?
i mean afterall she got 2 kids liao..

I went through quite a bit of trouble and unsettlement with my folks at the on start. Initially, they are very against the idea of her firstly that she is a divocee and then got excess baggages. but when they have seen the kids and slowly getting to know them, they started to like the 2 kids.

Old folks like well-behaved kids, so these 2 are specially trained to behave. In fact my folks like the 2 kids now. Also they are accepting the fact that their son is going to marry this girl whether they like it or not.

Now they are very happy with the whole thingy about me going to marry my gf with the excess baggages. It's my life after all.

[beck7777]

I went through quite a bit of trouble and unsettlement with my folks at the on start. Initially, they are very against the idea of her firstly that she is a divocee and then got excess baggages. but when they have seen the kids and slowly getting to know them, they started to like the 2 kids.

Old folks like well-behaved kids, so these 2 are specially trained to behave. In fact my folks like the 2 kids now. Also they are accepting the fact that their son is going to marry this girl whether they like it or not.

Now they are very happy with the whole thingy about me going to marry my gf with the excess baggages. It's my life after all.

well good to hear it work out for you..

[Hooters666]

I will too and as well the society in general...

Also most single mums are quite strong in character and independent given their circumstances but they ultimately still need a soul mate and lover.

[laozuzhong]

If you really love her. Dun care what other people say. Love her must love her kids too. Can you prepare to accept that? If yes, go for it otherwise please reconsider. Be fair to yourself, to her and to her kids too. This is the things you need to overcome. You must make sure that in event after you have your own kid with her, you still got to be fair to her other kids cos they are innocent. What other people might say is secondary issue already.

I totally agree with what Bro Vernonlcm said about being fair to her kids and your own ones when you eventually have them.

You must be equal to all the kids, be it from her past or yours. You must learn to treat all the kids as if they are yours and treat all of them the same. No favouritism allow.

[aLwAYs_hOrNy]

Bros, just like to have your views..

Can u accept a single mum as your gf, given that she was cheated by her ex(or rather the child's father) and her character is good..

She was cheated in a way that her ex was a married man n only till she was pregnant than she realised he was married..

Any bros willing to accept such a lady??

Cheers! :D

Personlly, i feel that it's ok to accept her, but sometimes u must really get to know her well enough 1st b4 u really get together with her...

Recently, i also got one gf who is also a single mum. But sad to say, we broke up already, partly bcoz of her character not gd. And the other reason is that although she being cheated by her ex bf, but she just couldn't forget abt him. Sometimes she would keep on telling u how gd the guy had treated her, etc. It really makes u get more n more angry each time u hear this kind os stuffs.

[bluezing]

nowadays, it's quite common bah... as long as u 2 really love each other, then shldn't b a prob... but if the child is coming with her, must make sure u can accept the child... else not fair to the kid...

[alvman]

It will always be tough....when things are not the "norm"......there will be obstacles...there will be challenges.

I have two sisters that are fated to be single mums.....you just have to absolutely sure of your feelings. There will be doubts, your trust in her will be tested, your trust in yourself to be fair for your own kids and her kids will be tested. The way in which you balance the harmony in the family between your folks,siblings and your family will be tested.

There will be naysayers....You just live your life...just dun regret any decision you make and follow through your committment. Yes and be sure she is really that Good to commit your whole life into this relationship, not forgetting people Do Change!

[ragnarclaw]

Well i really dont mind if that person is her...:D
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c249/ragnarclaw/annpoh4.jpg

[RobertCock]

Me Too !!!!:D

[big dick]

me second!!!!:p :cool:

[giggz83]

i also dont mind .. if i love her ..

but the problem always boils down to the 2 folks above you. would they or wouldnt they agree? :o

[SingViet]

If u love the lady, there is no harm accepting her. But i will surely look at the kid/ kids she has. If the kid is one whole lot of a trouble (i mean spoilt), i will reconsider. Imagine coming back from work feeling tired and exhausted, you hugged your wife but the kid comes between both of you and say `don't touch my mother because you are not my FATHER'. This will surely be a really bad feeling. :(

[stephan]

Bros, just like to have your views..

Can u accept a single mum as your gf, given that she was cheated by her ex(or rather the child's father) and her character is good..

She was cheated in a way that her ex was a married man n only till she was pregnant than she realised he was married..

Any bros willing to accept such a lady??

Cheers! :D

Come on bro, what is the problem? u just want her to be ur gf 1st rite? I tot u want to marry her, then u might ask for some advice.

Anyway, please dun try to hurt her again if u r not serious. ;)

[slurpoyster]

i would suggest u both seek marriage counseling first. its tough enough for 1st timer & surely more so for repeaters. ;)

[_AXL_]

bros here,

i am 35 this year and attached to a single mum and divorced woman for a year now. we are having our wedding dinner at the end of the year. She was married but had a child with another man before getting divorced with her ex-husband. That was all in the past. Knew her for 2 years (resisted going after her for 2 years) before finally deciding that I couldn't get her out of my heart. It was definitely not easy to get past her chequered past.

but once I was with her, even my parents knew i made the correct choice. made some $ these few years and recently wanted to get a new car. decided that i didnt want to get old before driving those 2 seater sports car. my parents couldnt talk me out of it. my wife-to-be told me that i didnt have to do it just to make her feel good cos i pick her up from work everyday. a simple one would do. maybe it's just me and my arse luck, my previous gfs (never married with no children but f**king materialistic bitches) would have be delighted to show off on a whim (the car, i mean). Driving a simple mitsubishi suv (family car, hahaha) now, that costs a grand total of 25% of my intended purchase.

got hdb flat and wanted to put her name. she said no need cos she's afraid that my parents would oppose. her ex-husband didnt even put her name in due to the same reason. said she was just happy to finally be starting a complete family. in the end, my parents were the ones to insist that I put her name in.

compared to the other women in my life, i find that she is the most sensible, most sincere. but contrary to popular belief, her needs are most demanding. my acceptance of her child is of utmost importance (which I have done), she does not need me to make lots of $ but i must be hardworking to provide for the family and i must accept that past of hers and never, ever use it as ammunition even when we quarrel.

so to me and my life, finally getting past the barrier of accepting that she was divorced, is a single mum and still getting pestered by "big-time bastards" violent ex-bfs, she was my best ever decision i have made in my life. if i die after watching liverpool win the fa cup tonight, i would have had a fruitful life and die a contented man!!! (because of her lah);)

just sharing....

[OceanEleven]

bros here,

so to me and my life, finally getting past the barrier of accepting that she was divorced, is a single mum and still getting pestered by "big-time bastards" violent ex-bfs, she was my best ever decision i have made in my life. if i die after watching liverpool win the fa cup tonight, i would have had a fruitful life and die a contented man!!! (because of her lah);)
just sharing....

Single mums are acceptable in most cases, it may not be due to any mistake but there are always reasons and matter to contribute to such cases. Like a single dad, they have their reasons as well.

By the way, no need to die and Liverpool won the CUP! :D

[SilverSurfer88]

Bros, just like to have your views..

Can u accept a single mum as your gf, given that she was cheated by her ex(or rather the child's father) and her character is good..

She was cheated in a way that her ex was a married man n only till she was pregnant than she realised he was married..

Any bros willing to accept such a lady??

Cheers! :D

Bro, this is very personal lah! A pal of mine is happilly settled down with a babe who had 2 kids (single mum type). So to each his own... judge by the gal character lah. Good luck

[VIPMAN]

I will accept... that is if i really love her mah

[yanki1]

bros here,

mily. in the end, my parents were the ones to insist that I put her name in.

compared to the other women in my life, i find that she is the most sensible, most sincere. but contrary to popular belief, her needs are most demanding. my acceptance of her child is of utmost importance (which I have done), she does not need me to make lots of $ but i must be hardworking to provide for the family and i must accept that past of hers and never, ever use it as ammunition even when we quarrel.

...


i agree lo. whats passed is passed. she might be young and innocent then to have fallen into an unhappy married. i mean who dun make mistakes. i can see that shes really a nice gal for u. up for u:p

[yanki1]

just to share. my cousin who is a year older then me. just got married to a mother of 2 last year. she is 8 years older then my cousin. the first children is about 13-14 years old and second son is about 9-10. not too sure about the age though. not easy for him as my father side is those old fashion type of family. and all my aunties were talking behind their back ( i hate them). their parents are those wan face type. haiz i wish them happiness:cool:

[fat29]

Cheers to you for the big heart and for accepting her as she is. May you have eternal marital bliss with her and may her son regard you as his true father and for you to regard him as your true son.

So happy to see your posting. Brightens my day.

bros here,
she was my best ever decision i have made in my life. if i die after watching liverpool win the fa cup tonight, i would have had a fruitful life and die a contented man!!! (because of her lah);)

just sharing....

[Castrol]

compared to the other women in my life, i find that she is the most sensible, most sincere. but contrary to popular belief, her needs are most demanding. my acceptance of her child is of utmost importance
.

it takes a lot of maturity on the man's part to be able to really love and take care of a divorced woman with kid. the thing about divorced women with kids is that they do not want to fail again, especially for the kid/s sake.

you know i drink in the pubs often, and i met many waitresses who are divorced with kids. after hearing much, i find that a common problem that causes marriage failures is lifestyle.

[superk92]

Single mum is fine as long as her character is good. I'm with one now, however, her ex cheated her so much she had to pay for his phone bills, car, flats, debts, etc, etc. I have to persevere with her but however, when I'm overseas, she secretly work in ktvs, having sex with guys. You know how hurtul it feels?
There was once I was in overseas, and with my parents. She had no $, and she's got 3 kids. But she managed to come to me to join me for cny as a suprise visit! But after sometime, she confessed she had sex with a few guys, to get the plane ticket just to get to me. You know, at that moment I wanted to cry. She refused my $ as well. I can't scold her as well, she'll go bonkers and upset, and wants to break up.
I managed to forgive her many times, considering her situation. We're 12yrs in age diff, and I'm the younger half. Had to face her 3 kids, whose attitute is as bad as their fathers.
But I keep assuring her, good times will come, once the debts are settled. Please be patient, I will help you as much as I can. I don't care about your past, since she's married like 3 times. I just want you to have a better life for once, with me helping you. But you know, it's a hard road. Really, I only want to see happy.
I don't recommend anyone taking this path, but if the divorcee mum is good, I don't see why not. They're only human.

[OceanEleven]

it takes a lot of maturity on the man's part to be able to really love and take care of a divorced woman with kid. the thing about divorced women with kids is that they do not want to fail again, especially for the kid/s sake.

Any form of relationship has its ups and down, pros and cons. A single mum may had set her priorities to be second while the child is first. Sometimes we have to play second fiddle to the kid. Also, determination and discpline must be there for one to accept and understand and be responsible towards both the mum and kid. Not an easy issue at all. There are many and much more hiden agenda than what we can see and deal with. If one is not ready, both mentally and financially, perhaps it is better to seek greener pastures.

It is not showing a weak sign nor accepting a challenge that matters, it is the future of at least three person (if only one child) at stake. :)

[Castrol]

Any form of relationship has its ups and down, pros and cons. A single mum may had set her priorities to be second while the child is first. Sometimes we have to play second fiddle to the kid. :)

yes and likewise, the guy also has to reset his priorities. i have a friend who went out recently with a lady divorced with 2 kids. their courtship is not exactly the usual movie or shopping outings. they must manage their meeting time very well, and he's busy making friends with her kids too.

i would like to praise him really, but maybe later. i have been thru this a bit before, i got worried about the future as the relationship got longer. she said i have no respect for her kid, so dumped me.

[_AXL_]

thanks to all the bros who responded to my posting...:o was pleasantly surprised.

bro oceaneleven, the way the way pool were playing, i could have died there and then...

bro yanki1, she's really heaven sent for me. thanks for the points, by the way. just got to know i need to have 10 posts to get any rep power, that is if i dont get negative points... hee hee

bro fat29, it brightens my day too just to know that u felt good reading about my good fortune. however, i m not here to gloat about it. i m no saint, took me too long a time to decide to follow my heart. her daughter is just too happy to know that she finally has someone who really dotes on her to call father. the biological father knows of her existence but never ever bothered to see her even once. the bastard still calls up my wife-to-be once in a while to see if he could get a free f**k for old times sake. the bloody cheek! it perks me up just to know that i could actually bring so much joy to a child and her mum. my life is made...:D

bro castrol, i would agree with u that lifestyle is very impt. which guy wants their gf or wife to be in the entertainment line, when the girls are the main entertainment? the imagination of things which might or might not have happened alone would kill the relationship. jealousy is very powerful, and i feel no sane man should want to subject himself to such torment. as for going into a relationship with a single mum, the main priority is to ensure that she's in this relationship because she loves/likes u and not because u r going to provide a better environment/future for her kid. i believe that we men should not shortchange ourselves in that department of love. contrary to popular belief, we men need true love too.

too much of a softie, aren't i??? dont deny that... just sharing

[mkt_cheonger]

yes and likewise, the guy also has to reset his priorities. i have a friend who went out recently with a lady divorced with 2 kids. their courtship is not exactly the usual movie or shopping outings. they must manage their meeting time very well, and he's busy making friends with her kids too.

i would like to praise him really, but maybe later. i have been thru this a bit before, i got worried about the future as the relationship got longer. she said i have no respect for her kid, so dumped me.


Bro Castrol, i was dumped for the exact opposite! she said that her kids were getting closer and nicer to me than to her and she felt threatened!?! And i thought she would reciprocate if i treat her kids really well :rolleyes:
i felt sori for the kids as i could see they were hurt by our breakup. so in such relationships, it would hurt more than just the adults especially if the kid/kids has/have taken a liking to u.

[beck7777]

thanks to all the bros who responded to my posting...:o was pleasantly surprised.



well bro in such cases not many are as lucky as u.. how often do we see such relationship work out? u r a lucky chap! good luck! cheers! :D

[sevenhabits]

What's more important - your love for her, or your reputation?

[yanki1]

Bro Castrol, i was dumped for the exact opposite! she said that her kids were getting closer and nicer to me than to her and she felt threatened!?! And i thought she would reciprocate if i treat her kids really well :rolleyes:
.


hmm is that the main reasons? sound like an excuss to me. no offence. but shdnt the mother be happie that her children are close to u?:confused:

[Castrol]

Bro Castrol, i was dumped for the exact opposite! she said that her kids were getting closer and nicer to me than to her and she felt threatened!?! And i thought she would reciprocate if i treat her kids really well :rolleyes:
.

bro your case is really a bit weird. what was she thinking?

[beck7777]

hmm is that the main reasons? sound like an excuss to me. no offence. but shdnt the mother be happie that her children are close to u?:confused:

i agree.. why shd she be unhappy and worried if u can click with the kids? i tot that is a very impt n big factor... :confused:

[Castrol]

bro castrol, i would agree with u that lifestyle is very impt. which guy wants their gf or wife to be in the entertainment line, when the girls are the main entertainment?

well bro, its true entertainment lifestyles destroys marriages easily. but actually most the pub waitresses i "interviewed" said they took on part-time jobs in pubs only after they were divorced to have extra income. they dont have well paying day jobs and exhusbands may have problems providing the monthly $ support.

and although i agree single mums should still try to find the man they love instead of just the man who can provide a better future or environment. but in reality, if the single mum is smart, money is more important than love.

[yanki1]

sometimes its not easy for them to find jobs. i mean a lot of women stop working after marriage, especially after they gave birth. then when they wan to find work again. thats so hard. imagine so many years of not working and lacking behind in the working world. they got to compete with the fresh grads whos young and the others whos experience is kao kao:cool:

[mkt_cheonger]

bro your case is really a bit weird. what was she thinking?

to bro Beck777 and bro Castrol,

i too agree that it was really weird. perhaps it was her depression affecting her judgement. I did not know tat she was under medication for depression before getting together wif her, she has to take a quarter of this blue pill which was supposed to help her think happy (not sure how tat works) and not negative thots.

the conclusion i arrived then was perhaps she had felt threatened that i might take over her place in the hearts of the kids which she couldnt allow. But hey, as kids, who would u like more? an uncle who dotes on u or a mum who nags and shouts at u? go figures..

[beck7777]

to bro Beck777 and bro Castrol,

i too agree that it was really weird. perhaps it was her depression affecting her judgement. I did not know tat she was under medication for depression before getting together wif her, she has to take a quarter of this blue pill which was supposed to help her think happy (not sure how tat works) and not negative thots.

the conclusion i arrived then was perhaps she had felt threatened that i might take over her place in the hearts of the kids which she couldnt allow. But hey, as kids, who would u like more? an uncle who dotes on u or a mum who nags and shouts at u? go figures..

i totally get wot u mean.. usually for them ladies to end up like that, they were hurt real bad... it does affect them in a way.. maybe for your case is abit extreme...

[bluezing]

Bro Castrol, i was dumped for the exact opposite! she said that her kids were getting closer and nicer to me than to her and she felt threatened!?!

maybe she was feeling insecure... she had the experience of husband leaving her, she's could be afraid tat her kids ight leave her too...

[smartalex]

Bros, just like to have your views..

Can u accept a single mum as your gf, given that she was cheated by her ex(or rather the child's father) and her character is good..

She was cheated in a way that her ex was a married man n only till she was pregnant than she realised he was married..

Any bros willing to accept such a lady??

Cheers! :D

I find them very acceptable! My preference for a soulmate in ascending order of preference goes like - virgins, non-virgins, divorcees, divorcees with kids and single-mums. I find myself rather strange because I have little interest in virgins, and find unmarried undivorced single-mums the most appealing.

My wife was an unmarried mother of a very handsome boy, and after we got married, she bore me another handsome baby son! :) My wife and her son gets along very well with my parents now (although they were very critical at first). She has a really selfless character, and my stepson is an intelligent and obedient boy.

The main nuisance is that some of my relatives want face, and criticised my decision. I had one auntie who warned me about my wife being a potential gold-digger, without knowing her at all!! But this auntie married a rich business-man herself! Honestly, one more time of this bull-shit during CNY and I am gonna yell n fuck them all loud-and clear.

[canny]

Which lady dont wan to have a happy marriage n who willing to be single mum. Sad & Happy to say that i fall to this category.. Sad to say that i met an irresposible man n happy to say that im out from the mess.

If you love her, love her everything. Well its easier to say than to be done. But im sure time n love can conquer everything. But sometimes its very unfair for the ladies. Its not our fault to cos the divorce but in the eye of the old folks, we ladies always the cause of it.

I been thru it... but i also found a guy who truly loves me n my son... I went thru a lot with my current bf (one of the samster here)... He doesn mind my past, in fact his parents rejected us but my bf stand by me till the end. My son coming to 5yrs now n he spend his 3 years with my bf. Even now he say that his surname is Tay n not Seow....

Trust me ...time & love really really play a BIG part... Good Luck N All the best

[wukong68]

Bros, just like to have your views..

Can u accept a single mum as your gf, given that she was cheated by her ex(or rather the child's father) and her character is good..

She was cheated in a way that her ex was a married man n only till she was pregnant than she realised he was married..

Any bros willing to accept such a lady??

Cheers! :D

Hi .. If you love her... thats most important. Lets say she also dont wish to end up in this plight as well.. well... humans.. who dont make mistakes right?

If you love her.. love her kid too... afterall the kid is innocent..

And moreover.. this is a very open minded society now.. for myself.. I WILL ACCEPT what she is :) My thoughts... Dont zap me ah...

[yanki1]

Which lady dont wan to have a happy marriage n who willing to be single mum. Sad & Happy to say that i fall to this category.. Sad to say that i met an irresposible man n happy to say that im out from the mess.

If you love her, love her everything. Well its easier to say than to be done. But im sure time n love can conquer everything. But sometimes its very unfair for the ladies. Its not our fault to cos the divorce but in the eye of the old folks, we ladies always the cause of it.

I been thru it... but i also found a guy who truly loves me n my son... I went thru a lot with my current bf (one of the samster here)... He doesn mind my past, in fact his parents rejected us but my bf stand by me till the end. My son coming to 5yrs now n he spend his 3 years with my bf. Even now he say that his surname is Tay n not Seow....

Trust me ...time & love really really play a BIG part... Good Luck N All the best

great that u found your happiness. its not always easy to start another relations after the first failed one. got to endure a lot of things to get it going. happen to my cousin too. but i have not heard of any nears from them yet. wish them well too.

but im glad that u and your hubby managed to pull it off. wish u happiness always.:)

[beck7777]

Which lady dont wan to have a happy marriage n who willing to be single mum. Sad & Happy to say that i fall to this category.. Sad to say that i met an irresposible man n happy to say that im out from the mess.

If you love her, love her everything. Well its easier to say than to be done. But im sure time n love can conquer everything. But sometimes its very unfair for the ladies. Its not our fault to cos the divorce but in the eye of the old folks, we ladies always the cause of it.

I been thru it... but i also found a guy who truly loves me n my son... I went thru a lot with my current bf (one of the samster here)... He doesn mind my past, in fact his parents rejected us but my bf stand by me till the end. My son coming to 5yrs now n he spend his 3 years with my bf. Even now he say that his surname is Tay n not Seow....

Trust me ...time & love really really play a BIG part... Good Luck N All the best

so what sort of major problems you were facing when you 1st started with your current bf??
i noe there's lots of shit to go thru loh... :confused:

[canny]

so what sort of major problems you were facing when you 1st started with your current bf??
i noe there's lots of shit to go thru loh... :confused:

Problem No. 1 - I never hide from my bf that i'm divorce with a boy. I told him either he accept what i am or just leave me alone. When i knew him, i still mid of the divorce.

Problem No. 2 - His parents. Infact during the first year courtship, his parents dont know anything bout my boy. We intend to let them know more about me before we break the new to them

Problem No. 3 - Problem blew up when they knew i had a kid with me. During that time me n my bf really cling on to our relationship. His dad gave him alot of pressure. After they saw my boy, they also heart soften. In fact my boy now very very close to his dad.

Problem No.4 - We intend to sell away his current flat n apply for a bigger unit n stay with them. But they refused. At that time then i really realise that his folks didn accept me wholeheartly. They just accept his son decision. Then no choice i buy my own flat with my son n my bf move in with us.

The real problem in this kind of relationship, u must really know how to handle the pressure. Be it his parents, relative, friends or whatsoever. Somethings i really feel tired n wanted to give up ... but its him who refused to..

[_AXL_]

Problem No.4 - We intend to sell away his current flat n apply for a bigger unit n stay with them. But they refused. At that time then i really realise that his folks didn accept me wholeheartly. They just accept his son decision. Then no choice i buy my own flat with my son n my bf move in with us.

The real problem in this kind of relationship, u must really know how to handle the pressure. Be it his parents, relative, friends or whatsoever. Somethings i really feel tired n wanted to give up ... but its him who refused to..

hi canny,

faced the same problems as u, and standing from the male point of view, this guy is for keeps. he really loves u, no doubt about it.

i dealt with the relatives with an attitude - if they dont like it, they can f**k off and die for all i cared. they were very conservative and the situation was made worse cos i was the eldest grandson on both sides of the family. those who said anything bad and did not take it back, i have no intention to greet them, visit them during cny or invite them to the wedding dinner. i will do all these to make sure i get the message through to them - i m serious about my life and i know what i want. this move virtually did it for my wife, cos she told me that what i did was more romantic than anyone has ever done for her.;)

parents are always a sticky situation, but my step-daughter's behaviour is fantastic. although she is hyperactive, she knows how to curry favour and now my parents love her more than me, i suspect. lucky break for me cos i can never bring myself to treat my parents like i treat those so-called relatives.

with our kind of situation, it is a lucky break for u that u do not have to live with your in-laws. my wife and i would never be able to live up to the microscopic scrutiny of my parents, especially if there r arguments. i m very sure parents would bring up the nuclear ammunition that u have a "tainted background". that would be a bitter pill to swallow, so i feel it is the best situation that my wife dont have to live with my parents.

i always tell my wife never to give up on me cos i understand how difficult it is for her to be facing such criticism. so, dont give up on him so easily cos i know he has been through a lot as well. i m quite sure that he has cushioned or siphoned off criticisms and naggings from u already. finally, dont u think it is wonderful that despite your disadvantaged position, u still can find true love??? enjoy your matrimony and your life. u deserve it.

[canny]

Ya in fact been thru all those hard times, i found that im too deeply in love with him n cant bear to let go... But at least im happy that those same situation as me have found their true love... I always told my bf .. god gave me a bad marriage n i suffer but God also compensate me a wonderful guy like u to ease my suffering n pain....

We had agreement that we cant bring out the past during the agreement... Hey Pal lucky the kids know what to do hor... They really can melt the folks heart lor... See the way my son hug n talk to his 'Ye Ye' sometimes i also cant tahan.. He never talk to me in such way ... :p

So do treasure what u have found...

[suckcock]

Now they are very happy with the whole thingy about me going to marry my gf with the excess baggages. It's my life after all.

Happy for you bro.:)

[dasreich]

If you finally find your soulmate, it doesn't matter if she is a single mum.
The most important thing is getting along with both mother and child, if the child accepts you then half the battle is won. My view - However if the child reject you there may be a problem in the future. I had a friend which was with a single mum, however the kid was so spoilt I really felt sorry for him - the child was a definate brat and the mother never seemed to care - left it to my friend - of course it was a problem in decide what to do - teach the kid - "because he is not your own that's why you scold him", don't teach - "because he is not your own that's why you don't teach him'.

Of course, now the lady had dig enough from him and left him.:(

[ShuttleAce]

If you finally find your soulmate, it doesn't matter if she is a single mum. The most important thing is getting along with both mother and child, if the child accepts you then half the battle is won. My view - However if the child reject you there may be a problem in the future. I had a friend which was with a single mum, however the kid was so spoilt I really felt sorry for him - the child was a definate brat and the mother never seemed to care - left it to my friend - of course it was a problem in decide what to do - teach the kid - "because he is not your own that's why you scold him", don't teach - "because he is not your own that's why you don't teach him'.

Of course, now the lady had dig enough from him and left him.:(
I agree with you bro!!

[OceanEleven]

Problem No. 1 - I never hide from my bf that i'm divorce with a boy.

Problem No. 2 - His parents. Infact during the first year courtship, his parents dont know anything bout my boy.

Problem No. 3 - Problem blew up when they knew i had a kid with me.

Problem No.4 - We intend to sell away his current flat n apply for a bigger unit n stay with them.

The real problem in this kind of relationship, u must really know how to handle the pressure..

You had done the right thing by setting the right piorities, as far as I can see, the cards are dealt wonderfully. For fully acceptance may be a tall order at this point of time but then again, who's gonna vouch for the future. Be demanding and persistance but one point at a time, at least his parents did accept you and your son. Remember, slowly but surely. :)

[JupitarCAE]

Ya in fact been thru all those hard times, i found that im too deeply in love with him n cant bear to let go... But at least im happy that those same situation as me have found their true love... I always told my bf .. god gave me a bad marriage n i suffer but God also compensate me a wonderful guy like u to ease my suffering n pain....

We had agreement that we cant bring out the past during the agreement... Hey Pal lucky the kids know what to do hor... They really can melt the folks heart lor... See the way my son hug n talk to his 'Ye Ye' sometimes i also cant tahan.. He never talk to me in such way ... :p

So do treasure what u have found...
Dear sis,

All the best to your relationship.... may you have found true love!!! Cheers

[canny]

Dear sis,

All the best to your relationship.... may you have found true love!!! Cheers

thanks ... im sure this bro also can make it ...

[canny]

You had done the right thing by setting the right piorities, as far as I can see, the cards are dealt wonderfully. For fully acceptance may be a tall order at this point of time but then again, who's gonna vouch for the future. Be demanding and persistance but one point at a time, at least his parents did accept you and your son. Remember, slowly but surely. :)


ya time n patience play a big part

[big dick]

all the best .. sis canny..:)

[mantikore]

Actually in such relationships, the pain in the neck is the step-child & the reactions from your parents and relatives. If the gal is a nice and good, go ahead with the relationship but you MUST build a good rapport with his/her child coz ultimately you are going to stay together with the child 24/7 365days.

If the child is not close to you or worse dislikes you, the marriage will not likely to last because the mum is caught btw you and her child. She will feel a lot of pressure as who to side when there is disagreement..... As for reactions from the family, I believe they will change their view as time goes by and they can see that you are getting on well and having a happy family. Only hurdle is the initial reactions when you announce it to them, if you can cross that the rest is a breeze. It certainly helps if the step-child is well behaved and knows how to curry a lil bit of favour with your parents;) Ultimately I still think that if you can get along well with the child, the marriage would work out well.

ALL THE BEST TO YOU:p

[Big Heart]

In such a relationship, you must think carefully what you want and more importantly listen to your heart.

[Visillus]

Hmn... what if the biological father still cling on them?

[canny]

Actually in such relationships, the pain in the neck is the step-child & the reactions from your parents and relatives. If the gal is a nice and good, go ahead with the relationship but you MUST build a good rapport with his/her child coz ultimately you are going to stay together with the child 24/7 365days.

If the child is not close to you or worse dislikes you, the marriage will not likely to last because the mum is caught btw you and her child. She will feel a lot of pressure as who to side when there is disagreement..... As for reactions from the family, I believe they will change their view as time goes by and they can see that you are getting on well and having a happy family. Only hurdle is the initial reactions when you announce it to them, if you can cross that the rest is a breeze. It certainly helps if the step-child is well behaved and knows how to curry a lil bit of favour with your parents;) Ultimately I still think that if you can get along well with the child, the marriage would work out well.

ALL THE BEST TO YOU:p

Fully agree with you ....

[lawrenciumz]

Sorry to all bros for that i bringing up this post again.

Xiao di me is facing kind of similar prob and wish that bros and sis can give me some advice on this.

The story goes like this. i met this girl who is married and had a son, and she got quite a number of problems in her life now.

1st, her husb is treating her very cold nowaday.
2nd, her mother-in-law was not treating too well either.
3rd, i feel that this family was in a mess, husb bro was a drug dealer and been in and out of jail quite a number of times, moreover he tried to make her horny by playing porn in her room (but the way, her house is crowded with ppl, parents, her husb and her, husb's uncle and aunt, husb's elder bro and husb's younger sis and her husb's cousin so they all share in 3 room).

so we went out for a few times, and she left me a deep impression. i liked her very much and i guess she felt the same too cos i felt it when we are holding hands together. i tell her i willing to take care of her and her baby, give her a better future. i said it becos i feel that she is a veri good girl with good character but it is jus a silly mistake that cause her future to be like this.

as u see bros, this problem had been casuing me a few sleepless night. i guess i need to understand her more be4 i make decision and she tell me the same too. well maybe i am thinking what other problem will i face in the future if she accept me. i think some bro had gone thru the problem of parent and relatives handling and had made it till the end. for my case, what other problem do u think bros i will have.. divorce thingy with her husb.. the issue of whether she can take care of her baby(law suit??)

i am veri confuse le and hope to listen to any suggestion for all bros and sis..

Thank you, thanks to all bros or sis who upped my point for my interesting cartoon too:confused:

[xaviour]

as u see bros, this problem had been casuing me a few sleepless night. i guess i need to understand her more be4 i make decision and she tell me the same too. well maybe i am thinking what other problem will i face in the future if she accept me. i think some bro had gone thru the problem of parent and relatives handling and had made it till the end. for my case, what other problem do u think bros i will have.. divorce thingy with her husb.. the issue of whether she can take care of her baby(law suit??)


Before you commit more headache for yourself, do you know what is your position in her heart? Is she willing to go thru all the hurdles and barriers together with you and are you prepared to face all the headaches, commitment and responsibility? Sometimes it is nice to play hero but it is not always as beautiful and romantic as in movie.

Divorce or baby rights will only come into picture when she finally commited her future with you, till then.. I guess you have more headaches to resolve first. If you have a choice, why find one with so many headaches to be together?

[yanki1]

i am veri confuse le and hope to listen to any suggestion for all bros and sis..

Thank you, thanks to all bros or sis who upped my point for my interesting cartoon too:confused:


bro think it over properly. her family is a mess, u know that her husband bro is dealing with drugs, they are not push over. if u managed to get together with her, im sure there will be many prob later on.;)

[camelot]

Single mum is fine as long as her character is good. etc, etc. I have to persevere with her but however, when I'm overseas, she secretly work in ktvs, having sex with guys. You know how hurtul it feels?
There was once I was in overseas, and with my parents. She had no $, and she's got 3 kids. But she managed to come to me to join me for cny as a suprise visit! But after sometime, she confessed she had sex with a few guys, to get the plane ticket just to get to me. You know, at that moment I wanted to cry. She refused my $ as well. I can't scold her as well, she'll go bonkers and upset, and wants to break up.
I managed to forgive her many times, considering her situation. We're 12yrs in age diff, and I'm the younger half. Had to face her 3 kids, whose attitute is as bad as their fathers.
I don't recommend anyone taking this path, but if the divorcee mum is good, I don't see why not. They're only human.

No one seems to have responded to you...but if you are still here...my advice is to have a good h to h talk with her and maybe speak to some of your closest friends who know you better and can provide better counsel.
Her continued infidelity and your fragile rapport with her 3 kids are troubling...Are you already supporting her? Whatever the outcome. I wish you the best bro!

[SittingBull]

Sorry to all bros for that i bringing up this post again.

Xiao di me is facing kind of similar prob and wish that bros and sis can give me some advice on this.

The story goes like this. i met this girl who is married and had a son, and she got quite a number of problems in her life now.

1st, her husb is treating her very cold nowaday.
2nd, her mother-in-law was not treating too well either.
3rd, i feel that this family was in a mess, husb bro was a drug dealer and been in and out of jail quite a number of times, moreover he tried to make her horny by playing porn in her room (but the way, her house is crowded with ppl, parents, her husb and her, husb's uncle and aunt, husb's elder bro and husb's younger sis and her husb's cousin so they all share in 3 room).

so we went out for a few times, and she left me a deep impression. i liked her very much and i guess she felt the same too cos i felt it when we are holding hands together. i tell her i willing to take care of her and her baby, give her a better future. i said it becos i feel that she is a veri good girl with good character but it is jus a silly mistake that cause her future to be like this.

as u see bros, this problem had been casuing me a few sleepless night. i guess i need to understand her more be4 i make decision and she tell me the same too. well maybe i am thinking what other problem will i face in the future if she accept me. i think some bro had gone thru the problem of parent and relatives handling and had made it till the end. for my case, what other problem do u think bros i will have.. divorce thingy with her husb.. the issue of whether she can take care of her baby(law suit??)

i am veri confuse le and hope to listen to any suggestion for all bros and sis..

Thank you, thanks to all bros or sis who upped my point for my interesting cartoon too:confused:




Bro, all i can say, is that judge her after more than just a few dates... I've always believed that it takes 2 hands to clap, and you being sympathetic to her predicament, may not entirely be what it really is. Too many girls today, are such wonderful actresses, and they always paint a very sorrowful situation and divert blame away from themselves.. I'm not saying that this girl of yours is of a negative influence to you, but it would be advisable to really get to know her much better, before making commitments to her, especially given the many problems she has..... Good Luck

[Castrol]

3rd, i feel that this family was in a mess, husb bro was a drug dealer and been in and out of jail quite a number of times, moreover he tried to make her horny by playing porn in her room (but the way, her house is crowded with ppl, parents, her husb and her, husb's uncle and aunt, husb's elder bro and husb's younger sis and her husb's cousin so they all share in 3 room).

:

alamak, she got a husband and they are still living together. are you are hoping they get a divorce so you can take over? :confused:

[iossshee]

Sorry to all bros for that i bringing up this post again.

Xiao di me is facing kind of similar prob and wish that bros and sis can give me some advice on this.

The story goes like this. i met this girl who is married and had a son, and she got quite a number of problems in her life now.

1st, her husb is treating her very cold nowaday.
2nd, her mother-in-law was not treating too well either.
3rd, i feel that this family was in a mess, husb bro was a drug dealer and been in and out of jail quite a number of times, moreover he tried to make her horny by playing porn in her room (but the way, her house is crowded with ppl, parents, her husb and her, husb's uncle and aunt, husb's elder bro and husb's younger sis and her husb's cousin so they all share in 3 room).

so we went out for a few times, and she left me a deep impression. i liked her very much and i guess she felt the same too cos i felt it when we are holding hands together. i tell her i willing to take care of her and her baby, give her a better future. i said it becos i feel that she is a veri good girl with good character but it is jus a silly mistake that cause her future to be like this.

as u see bros, this problem had been casuing me a few sleepless night. i guess i need to understand her more be4 i make decision and she tell me the same too. well maybe i am thinking what other problem will i face in the future if she accept me. i think some bro had gone thru the problem of parent and relatives handling and had made it till the end. for my case, what other problem do u think bros i will have.. divorce thingy with her husb.. the issue of whether she can take care of her baby(law suit??)

i am veri confuse le and hope to listen to any suggestion for all bros and sis..

Thank you, thanks to all bros or sis who upped my point for my interesting cartoon too:confused:


bro lets put in this ways:

1) r u willing to take care of her once u go tru so much of trouble.
2) fiancially and metally ???
3) how much u know abt her?
4) u love/like her just onli out of pitiness?
5) After all the trouble please do make sure you and her are really out of DEPRESSION/STRESS.

bro maybe u really cool yourself down and really spend time to think abt it. Be truthful to yourself answering this.

Anyway all the best.

[OceanEleven]

alamak, she got a husband and they are still living together. are you are hoping they get a divorce so you can take over? :confused:
Second to that. Face the burning fact that she is still married and divorce take months, if not years to settle. How sure are you about her? How much do you know about her? Perhaps she is doing until you come in and stirred ripple in her heart?

Think more and look beyond. ;)

[lawrenciumz]

Thanks to all bros for ur precious advice..

Ya maybe i may have think too highly of myself to play hero.. haha.. guess i think i got be jus a fren.. who know what happen in the future to her.. maybe divorce with her husb or nt .. then that time to consider her ba.. right nw i shldnt do anything that is too hero ba..

Thanks again bros:)